Cultural appropriation -- am I worrying too much?

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Skimmer

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I'm a new fan of m/m romance and want to write in the genre.

I am trying to think through what it means to be a straight female writing about male relationships. If I find an audience, I know it is likely to have a large female readership as well.

Could it someday be viewed as cultural appropriation?

There are a lot of things that appeal to me about romance with a gay focus right now. We're in an important time of change. For me, and probably others, it hits me harder in the gut to see the soldier kissing his man in port in the pics on fb. Even though the het variations of the scene can still get me teary too.

Does it make a difference that many QUILTBAG types are fighting for inclusiveness—not erasing their identity—but wanting many of the things heterosexuals find easy to acquire? I read an essay by an author who ventured into m/m romance in an attempt to shift opinions among the kind of middle America readers who might not have examined their beliefs before.

I'm not attempting to write anything sweeping or important about the gay experience. Mostly to bring a smile to readers' faces as they imagine people they support finding the kind of happy endings romances are known for.

Thoughts?
 

Evaine

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Alex Beecroft seems to do all right as a straight woman writing male/male romance - I especially liked Bombers Moon, which also involves her main character going up against a dragon in a Mosquito fighter-bomber (which is a wooden plane!).
 

JohnnyGottaKeyboard

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Charlie Cochran does all right as well (tho I'm a sucker for veddy British mysteries). I also enjoy Hayden Thorne (Tho, I confess I know nearly nothing about her personal life other than that she's a woman...Whether Quilty or muggle, I've no idea).

I'm assuming you have gay friends and acquaintances to draw experience from. The only thing/problem I ever come across with gay romances is that they often seem identical to straight romances only...The woman has been mysterious transformed into a male! Oh, and anal sex is regularly treated as equivalent to or as a substitute for vaginal sex. (I read a book once where the two men's relationship had yet to be "consummated" because they hadn't had anal sex! Oh, bother.)

The whole anal = vaginal thing really gets my dander up. But I don't think the problem is straight women writing gay romance. I blame gay porn which (and here is the most important advice I can give you for doing research!) is about as much like standard gay sex as straight porn is like standard straight sex.

ETA: On rereading this post, I think it sounds like I'm assuming you're going to write erotica or, worse, that I'm equating m/m romance with erotica. Neither is the case. I actually have read very little m/m erotic and therefore limit my advice/observation to m/m romance and my experiences with it.

Also, Miranda, is "veddy" spelled correctly?
 
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DancingMaenid

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Well, first of all, I don't think there's anything appropriative about a straight person writing about gay characters, romance or not.

When it comes to M/M romance, in particular, it can be complicated. Most people I know, including gay guys, don't have a problem with it. But some people feel it's fetishization if gay men are reduced to being sex objects or a fantasy, which I can understand. But M/M romance doesn't have to reduce the characters to sex objects--in fact, I'd venture to say that most writers have a healthy respect for their characters and care about writing characters who seem realistic.

I don't think you need to worry too much about being appropriative as long as you're respectful and make an effort to get things right. And you don't come across as dismissive to me at all in your post. Overall, it's a positive thing to have straight writers write about gay characters.
 
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