The Old Farts Bar, Grill and Infirmary

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Haggis

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davids

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HIC!!! Baby! Get down!

git down git down HIC HIC-one just has to find the correct beat-i have it as i am a flat bellied steel loinedd:Hug2: and girded not girdled-sixty year old not necessary are the blue pills i stand to attentional erectional at the slightest provocatory feminine gesture-i also have opera singers tongue which is fit enough for a two hour romp in the land of lady love when they do not care of age or frailty but of oh Christ more that does feel soooo good!
 

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Choo Choo Charlie was an engineer ...
 

Gravity

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Ipana Toothpaste (shilled by the inimitable Bucky Beaver)

"Every boy wants a Remco toy!" "Monkey Patrol! By MARX!"

Lucky Tiger Hair Tonic

"Helloooo baaaa-by! Yeah, this is the Big Bopper speakin'!"

"They call it a TV Dinner, Madge. It's an aluminum tray with turkey and corn and mashed potatoes. Takes like an hour to cook in the oven. I put one in when I get home from playing Canasta. How should I know if it's good? Harry hasn't complained. As long as he can stuff his face while watching the Friday Night fights. Or wrestling. Y'know, I can't blame him. That Gorgeous George is kinda cute... Say, have you been watching those Kefauver hearings? I dunno what they're going on about..."
 

JAlpha

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What a great thread!

But, every good Old Farts Thread needs at least one obiturary . . .

Pillsbury Doughboy Dead at 71 as reported by http://seniorcitizenhumor.blogspot.com/2007/09/pillsbury-doughboy-dead-at-71.html


It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was never considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even still he was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he had reached his expiration date. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
 

mscelina

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I want that sign for right in front of my neighbor's house. During the blizzard, he tried to shovel snow from his sidewalk--in thirty minutes he cleared a square foot. I paid my kid to go out and do the rest for him.
 
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