THE OFFICIAL "I NEED A HUMOR CRIT" THREAD (Got Humor in SYW? Tell us here!)

pattmayne

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Could you advise me on how to make this 3 page cartoon script tighter and funnier? If your life is missing a mystical "all-knowing" fish meditating on a mountain top, have I got the script for you! Check it out here:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9340068#post9340068

If anyone still reads this, please take a look at my opening excerpt from my sci fi comedy novel at the following link - https://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?340126-From-an-Antique-Land-Comedy-Sci-Fi-DRUG-USE-(1664-words)&p=10493559#post10493559

Thanks in advance and may your day be full of smiles

I'm locked out of both of these?
 

Unimportant

No COVID yet. Still masking.
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Those are posts from 1 year and 4 years ago, so they're probably no longer relevant.