AW's Super-Dooper Newbie Pub Where Newbies Can Chat With Golden Oldies
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Not to worry, Mr. Discoball, the beast is harmless unless you're a pizza. At least I don't think she eats disco balls.
mrphsnarfgrffg! Good cookies!
The cake is neverending too but alas the whipped cream is not.
Miss Aphrodite may I trouble you for a wee bit of the creature?
mrphsnarfgrffg! Good cookies!
The cake is neverending too but alas the whipped cream is not.
Miss Aphrodite may I trouble you for a wee bit of the creature?
I stick my head in to see if Porter has blown the place up yet. Since it appears more or less intact I step up to the bar hoping Aphrodite or someone is tending.
Ari flops down under a convenient table to protect herself from flying glitter and bedazzler debris.
"Hellooo! Anybody home?"
Ari flops down under a convenient table to protect herself from flying glitter and bedazzler debris.
"Hellooo! Anybody home?"
I wake up where I curled up with Ari.
*yawn* "Guess nobody's gonna show up, pup. Maybe that cavern Porter put in the floor is putting people off. Either that or the excess sparklies falling off the disco ball. Anyway, let's head for the shed."
*yawn* "Guess nobody's gonna show up, pup. Maybe that cavern Porter put in the floor is putting people off. Either that or the excess sparklies falling off the disco ball. Anyway, let's head for the shed."
I tap Porter on the shoulder. He looks up momentarily from his digging.
"Pssst. Porter," I whispered. "Why are all these newbies narrating everything they're doing and putting it in quotation marks? Why don't they, yanno, just say it? Baby is getting terribly confused."
I kiss Baby's snout and give her a comforting pat before I continue my musings to Porter.
"See, Baby likes to eat people who do that, and I can't entirely blame her. But of course, this is Jed's Pub, where we don't eat newbies. It's quite a conundrum."
I stare into the middle distance, tapping my fingers on the bar and absentmindedly kicking dirt back into the hole Porter is so painstakingly digging. Then, looking at Porter gives me a sudden inspiration.
"I know!" I exclaim. "I'll bring them all to visit the Horror Hounds! In very short order, their continual self-narration will cease to create a conflict!"
I turn to the newbies with a sweet and inviting smile.
"Dear little newbies," I coo. "I have some friends in another forum who would love to meet you. They're having a barbecue. Do come visit!"
I wink at Porter.
"Pssst. Porter," I whispered. "Why are all these newbies narrating everything they're doing and putting it in quotation marks? Why don't they, yanno, just say it? Baby is getting terribly confused."
I kiss Baby's snout and give her a comforting pat before I continue my musings to Porter.
"See, Baby likes to eat people who do that, and I can't entirely blame her. But of course, this is Jed's Pub, where we don't eat newbies. It's quite a conundrum."
I stare into the middle distance, tapping my fingers on the bar and absentmindedly kicking dirt back into the hole Porter is so painstakingly digging. Then, looking at Porter gives me a sudden inspiration.
"I know!" I exclaim. "I'll bring them all to visit the Horror Hounds! In very short order, their continual self-narration will cease to create a conflict!"
I turn to the newbies with a sweet and inviting smile.
"Dear little newbies," I coo. "I have some friends in another forum who would love to meet you. They're having a barbecue. Do come visit!"
I wink at Porter.
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well well well...
Sorry everyone, I know that was painful. But I couldn't resist. I have zero self-control when it comes to puns.
*Sits by the side. Thinks about whether or not to detonate the bomb hidden in the handle of Porter's spade.*
Hi, Porter! How's the digging going? I have something that will really enlarge your hole, are you interested?
(aside) it's good manners to ask first...
And I have some Bob the Builder cookies for you. Alcohol flavour. Enjoy!
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i'm going to save this and take it out of context at a later date.
thank you and good day.
Yay! Like I always say, I'm a very MISquoted person
cray at least take some Bob the Builder cookies out of context with you. In case you ever get hungry. Do batteries get hungry? I've never thought to ask one before.
brb
ETA:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9059102&postcount=12840
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7179225&postcount=12754
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6942942&postcount=3001
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5779435&postcount=11
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Shame. There's quite a feast going on in some other forum, horror something-or-the-other I think it's called. Sweet place. Funny rituals, they have. But no table manners. Terrible, really.
I walk into the bar, clothes covered in dust, two weeks worth of growth on my face. I have a travel pack slung over my shoulder. I scan the bar, and notice some new faces. And a large hole in the floor. Good ol' Jed's Pub, I think to myself. Feels good to be back, even if it's a short visit.
"Hi, everyone! Hope all is good."
I walk past my favorite table and drop my pack onto it as I head to the bar. I pour a pint of Guinness and sit down. I sigh and take a long sip.
"Hello to all the new faces! This place is starting to get popular!"
I take another sip of the dark ale, and I'm struck by a sudden revelation. Something is different. I frown at the tan foam in my glass.
"Something's...off..."
I stare off for a minute, pulling at my beard as I contemplate the situation. Suddenly, the revelation strikes me, and I sit up in my chair.
"The narrative has shifted!"
I scan the bar. Everyone is in the first-person from my third-person perspective. Something, or someone, has bent the perspective of this reality. My lack of presence must have attuned my senses to the shift. If I were here the whole time, I may not have even noticed it...
But I see not everyone has been affected. Porter, Hannah, Tiddlywinks. All immune.
"I know what needs to be done. It'll be a long journey, but I can reverse this."
I grab my pack and swing it onto my shoulder.
"Take care everyone. I'll try and hurry back."
I open the door and step out, disappearing down the street.
(Actually, just wanted to pop in and say hi. I've been busy with work, and have to do more traveling, so will be disappearing again for a few days. Take care! )
"Hi, everyone! Hope all is good."
I walk past my favorite table and drop my pack onto it as I head to the bar. I pour a pint of Guinness and sit down. I sigh and take a long sip.
"Hello to all the new faces! This place is starting to get popular!"
I take another sip of the dark ale, and I'm struck by a sudden revelation. Something is different. I frown at the tan foam in my glass.
"Something's...off..."
I stare off for a minute, pulling at my beard as I contemplate the situation. Suddenly, the revelation strikes me, and I sit up in my chair.
"The narrative has shifted!"
I scan the bar. Everyone is in the first-person from my third-person perspective. Something, or someone, has bent the perspective of this reality. My lack of presence must have attuned my senses to the shift. If I were here the whole time, I may not have even noticed it...
But I see not everyone has been affected. Porter, Hannah, Tiddlywinks. All immune.
I finish my beer and stand up.
"I know what needs to be done. It'll be a long journey, but I can reverse this."
I grab my pack and swing it onto my shoulder.
"Take care everyone. I'll try and hurry back."
I open the door and step out, disappearing down the street.
(Actually, just wanted to pop in and say hi. I've been busy with work, and have to do more traveling, so will be disappearing again for a few days. Take care!
)
I appear in the window one last time, and shake my proud New Hampshire fist at aunty.
I'm watching a stellar german television documentary about Kenneth Anger's underground films.
It would be deeply disturbing to members of some faith traditions, or those who are overly concerned about good v. evil issues. And, those with temporal lobe behavioural ictal foci would be advised to perhaps find other things to view.
But, it is available on You Tube, and I'd imagine those interested would enjoy it. It's even conveniently open captioned in English.
It would be deeply disturbing to members of some faith traditions, or those who are overly concerned about good v. evil issues. And, those with temporal lobe behavioural ictal foci would be advised to perhaps find other things to view.
But, it is available on You Tube, and I'd imagine those interested would enjoy it. It's even conveniently open captioned in English.
oooooh, goodie! Do you think you'll hit water soon?
Hi all, I'm busy now.
*Grabs a coffee and runs out*#
*calling over shoulder* I've got a HUGE and REALLY hard exam tomorrow! I need to start studying!!!
I'm pretty sure that's one of those statements for which there is no proper context, ever.
Curious as to who (or what) this sheep was, I wandered over to a little bar with a name far too long to be remembered by a drunk (I think it was 'The Hell Hound' or something along those lines).
I found no sheep but I saw that several of the patrons wore rubber boots. They were all keeping a close watch on the door.
"What's up with the boots?" I asked the blood-soaked apparition next to me.
"They're waiting for the sheep," was the reply.
I found no sheep but I saw that several of the patrons wore rubber boots. They were all keeping a close watch on the door.
"What's up with the boots?" I asked the blood-soaked apparition next to me.
"They're waiting for the sheep," was the reply.
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