Show vs Tell

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lacygnette

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I know it's a "rule": show, don't tell. But I think there is some use to telling. It keeps the narrative balanced, not bogging down in so much detail the story doesn't move ahead.

For instance in a recent piece I had a narrator say "I've always been weird." I went on with a brief examples, again told. "I hated John Lennon, refused to try out for cheerleader. I read during the summers, letting my imagination run amok." Then I ended the paragraph with a detail: I saw hands hidden in the lilac bush and dolphins jumping in the Arkansas River. To my mind that established the mc in her own mind quickly and efficiently.

So I'm wondering how you all balance the need to tell against the imperative to show. I'm working on this right now and could use some other ideas...
 

jeffo20

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"Show, don't tell" is one of those pieces of advice that's so easy to dispense, and so easy to misunderstand. There is a time and a place for both, and that is usually left out by people giving the advice.
 

jaus tail

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At times it is better to show and often it's is better to tell. The reason I think, 'I've always been weird' good be rephrased was cause many people say, 'I've always been weird, or I've always been very disciplined, or I've always been goofy.' It sounds like the mc is bragging about herself or is immature. I mean if it would be more humble on the mc's part to say, 'People always call me weird.'
When the mc says, 'people always call me weird.' IMO, it makes it more credible that people say her weird, it also allows me to sympathize with the mc.

It's like in 1 cv there is mentioned...won first prize in essay in grade 5 for most innovative essay vs my writing was always more imaginative than that of my peers.

That's just my opinion.

However there are cases when 'I've always been' works better like if a prisoner is in jail and is writing letter to himself, he'd say, 'I've never been angry at him. I've been hurt and disappointed but not angry.'
 

lacygnette

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Thanks for the link Miranda. I'm moving over to them to read. I started this here because of the genre. Don't know if different things apply. I just read a mystery, which I don't usually read, and the (famous) author head-hopped all over the place. I was surprised but also have to say it didn't bother me as a reader.

This stuff is all so subjective!
 

Jamesaritchie

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"Show, don't tell" is one of those pieces of advice that's so easy to dispense, and so easy to misunderstand. There is a time and a place for both, and that is usually left out by people giving the advice.

There is a time for both, but writers fail by not showing enough, not by not telling enough. I think this is why a time for both gets left out. Most new writers know how to tell, but darned few know how or when to show.

A rule of thumb I've found helpful show emotion, show direct action, and tell narrative. Active/passive also comes into play because many new writers confuse this with show/tell. Use active writing, and telling the narrative works very well. Use passive writing, and telling the narrative simply won't work.
 

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I am around writers a lot, and I never hear anyone talk about show v tell. Honestly, I relate the terms to this website and to high school classrooms.

I think writing is about what you want to say, what you want to sing, what you want to make on the page. I think it is about saying what is not sayable, and in this way the writer must use everything at his disposal to the best of his ability to orchestrate the making of what ultimately cannot be said.

Of course the discussion has merit, but I have a hard time defining which statements in a text are "show" and which are "tell." It is all relative to the making of what is being said, in my humble opinion. Best,
G
 

jaus tail

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What helps me is what i want to show. If i want to show that the husband is a jerk, i'll tell that he drinks alcohol every night, is a sycophant to his boss, sends flirty messages to his female colleague, comes home and orders his wife to press his feet, etc etc

if i want to show his alcoholic nature, then i'll tell about his brands, when he started drinking, how he drinks with friends, without friends, before party, during a party, after a party, how he adds alcohol in soft drink bottle and drinks it. how he fancies the coffee machine had beer.

its what i want to show, i tell the details. if i want to show the room was lit, i'll tell that a broad window allowed sunlight to enter the room or a lamp stood in a corner. if i want to show about lamp in general, then i'll tell about lamp's design, it's electrical mechanism, if i want to show about lamp's design, i'll tell about colors used, who designed those lines.
 
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CathleenT

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I've come to the conclusion that "show-don't-tell" is for the important parts of your narrative. Certainly in a novel, but sometimes even in shorts, there's a need to link scenes. The connecting bit isn't a scene; there's no conflict to make it interesting to the reader. But you can't always dump characters from one scene to another.

Nonetheless, in my stuff and in other critiques I've seen, people are trying to get the author to expand on a part of the story that only exists to transition. If a quick nifty sensory thing can go along with it, great. But if not, I don't think you want to put a lot of emphasis on something that's not crucial to your story, but still needs to be there. I think you're better off saving the punchy prose for the important bits. JMO.
 

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As a former English teacher, I can tell you the show v tell advice is a must. But that being said, certainly there are times when telling is absolutely fine and actually better. I think it was Stephen King who said something like: "It's fine to break a writing rule, but you have to master the rule before you should be breaking it."
In the case of the first post, without reading the entire piece, I might argue that the narrator shouldn't have to tell us: "I've always been weird" and the narrator shouldn't have to show us in a paragraph either. It should be obvious after reading the piece. And I think that is more the show and don't tell. Showing doesn't always have to be description, it can be a series of events or an entire story.
 

Dawnstorm

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I think it was Stephen King who said something like: "It's fine to break a writing rule, but you have to master the rule before you should be breaking it."

I hear that so much. I've read King's On Writing nearly when it came out, but "you must know the rules to break them," was familiar even back then. The problem is that most of those "rules" are pragmatic rules of thumb that arise in a teaching context. Take them out of the context and they sound more absolute than they are. "Show, don't tell" is a good example.

If people "tell" too much for their own good, that may be helpful advice. But people who have a good handle on when to tell and when to show will also come across this piece of advice, and if they're not confident enough in their style, this piece of advice may do more harm than good.

A lot of it is subjective in the first place: different people have different tolerance levels for showing and telling. Also, "show, don't tell" means different things to different people.

There are four basic functions your fictional sentences will fulfill (there may be more; there may be less - it's all in the way you look at writing):

1. Exposition: provide information
2. Commentary: provide evaluation
3. Description: provide sensual detail
4. Action: provide a rundown of events

A sentence like "John wore a blue jacket," has a bit of exposition and a bit of description. Where the emphasis falls is a matter of narrative context. "John wore an ugly blue jacket," has also some commentary. None of it has action. "John's ugly blue jacket fluttered in the wind," is more dynamic, but it's emphasis is still information and sensual detail.

Imagine "John's ugly blue jacket fluttered in the wind," is the first sentence of a story. The commentary of "ugly" stands out because no point of view is yet established. Who thinks the jacket is ugly? It's rather dense with information: there's a character, his jacket and the weather. Sensually, there's a sense of movement that may or may not overshadow the colour (depends on the reader's attention structure). Ultimately, though, the sentence is focussed on sensual detail.

Now the first question: Is this showing or telling? A combination of both?

And now the second question: What do you gain by answering the first question?

I'm aware that "show, don't tell," isn't [always] applied on a sentence level, but the key point remains: it's not always clear where the problem lies: Too much information, too little action? Too much static discription? etc. "Show, don't tell," works best, IMO, in settings where people know each other and can easily understand each other's short cuts. On the internet, it becomes vague to the point of uselessness.
 

lacygnette

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Cathleen T, Yes, it's those bits of moving between scenes that I often question.

DawnStorm - that was an explication I'd never heard.

I suspect it will take a while for me to digest all this. And even longer for it to affect my writing. But I'll work at it.

Thank you all.
 

robjvargas

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I've run into times when showing versus telling isn't apparent on initial write.

Telling can keep a story moving, even if it isn't as intimate or "real" as showing. On the other hand, showing allows us to know the characters and their environment on visceral level, but it takes time to build that vision for the reader. That can slow down the storytelling.

Sometimes, you can be racing along, telling a really great tale, and when you read back, you (or a beta reader) figure out that you had a great opportunity to bring the reader into the moment by showing the moment, rather than merely stating what the moment was. Or you've got a long passage of showing, and you or the beta realize that the story has come to a halt.

In both cases, the first option might be good and wonderful, but they might not serve as the best option for the work. There's an odd mix of self-pride and self-loathing when I run into those sections. Pride in the quality, loathing that I wasted all that good "stuff" on something that shouldn't have been there in the first place.
 

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I like that, Dawn, but it also ties back to the central issue: why was he wearing the blue jacket, and why does it matter that it was fluttering in the wind? Does the sentence have relevance to what you are trying to say, or is it just description and exposition.

Most of telling comes form those two things, and if they can be done be showing, Will John, now that there's finally wind, take out the kite he's carried in his backpack for two years, the one his grandpa gave him before returning to Paraguay, and finally have the courage to fly it? Did Mary always say she hated this blue jacket but she smiled when she saw him wearing it? What's the context for the description -- how does it help move the story along?

"I've always been weird." I went on with a brief examples, again told. "I hated John Lennon, refused to try out for cheerleader. I read during the summers, letting my imagination run amok." Then I ended the paragraph with a detail: I saw hands hidden in the lilac bush and dolphins jumping in the Arkansas River. To my mind that established the mc in her own mind quickly and efficiently.

I'd argue that it doesn't, not really. Weird is a catch-all phrase that can mean a lot of things to different people, and because of that, it's kind of useless description -- even saying other people thought her weird is much better. Is her weirdness a bone of contention with her mom, who just wants her to fit in, or was her mom sufficiently weird that she admires it in her daughter? You can write the scene between them with that context without having the MC just tell is "I've always been weird." Was she an odd preschooler? Is this a conflict point or is it a kid giving herself a reason why she doesn't feel she fits in?

The descriptions of her action -- she hates John Lennon (why? Did she think he was too simplistic? A cheater who left his family for Yoko? she reads in the summer (what does she read? does she look for hidden meaning in Judy Blume? Does she read Crime and Punishment for kicks?) she didn't go out for cheerleading (does she have a reason why -- does she not think she's pretty enough, does she hate sports, does she hate the girls who did try out? are there reasons? why does she think it's an important thing to tell us about her?) Do the images just appear to her -- do the hands grow out of the lilacs or just the dolphins jump out of the river -- is the fast flowing Arkansas that i raft in Colorado, or is it the slow moving river of Oklahoma?

I think what "show don't tell" does is make you explain what the catch-all phrases mean and makes you steer the reader away from their own interpretation to the one you want them to have. That's where, IMO, it comes from.
 

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I like that, Dawn, but it also ties back to the central issue: why was he wearing the blue jacket, and why does it matter that it was fluttering in the wind? Does the sentence have relevance to what you are trying to say, or is it just description and exposition.

Most of telling comes form those two things, and if they can be done be showing, Will John, now that there's finally wind, take out the kite he's carried in his backpack for two years, the one his grandpa gave him before returning to Paraguay, and finally have the courage to fly it? Did Mary always say she hated this blue jacket but she smiled when she saw him wearing it? What's the context for the description -- how does it help move the story along?



I'd argue that it doesn't, not really. Weird is a catch-all phrase that can mean a lot of things to different people, and because of that, it's kind of useless description -- even saying other people thought her weird is much better. Is her weirdness a bone of contention with her mom, who just wants her to fit in, or was her mom sufficiently weird that she admires it in her daughter? You can write the scene between them with that context without having the MC just tell is "I've always been weird." Was she an odd preschooler? Is this a conflict point or is it a kid giving herself a reason why she doesn't feel she fits in?

The descriptions of her action -- she hates John Lennon (why? Did she think he was too simplistic? A cheater who left his family for Yoko? she reads in the summer (what does she read? does she look for hidden meaning in Judy Blume? Does she read Crime and Punishment for kicks?) she didn't go out for cheerleading (does she have a reason why -- does she not think she's pretty enough, does she hate sports, does she hate the girls who did try out? are there reasons? why does she think it's an important thing to tell us about her?) Do the images just appear to her -- do the hands grow out of the lilacs or just the dolphins jump out of the river -- is the fast flowing Arkansas that i raft in Colorado, or is it the slow moving river of Oklahoma?

I think what "show don't tell" does is make you explain what the catch-all phrases mean and makes you steer the reader away from their own interpretation to the one you want them to have. That's where, IMO, it comes from.


I disagree with this. Showing doesn't explain, it displays. It displays the scene, what the narrator sees and feels. It puts a much better picture in your mind when reading. Puts you in the book (mentally) helping you visualize better. If it's overdone the story is lost. If it's not done enough, the story will only sound 2 dimensional. This is just my take.
 

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Showing doesn't explain, it displays. It displays the scene, what the narrator sees and feels.

To me, that's the definition of explaining. No book is ever trying to describe the entire universe, only the scene it's displaying at the moment. But saying "It's a pretty day" (to me, the definition of telling, doesn't push your story along unless there is context to it. It doesn't make any difference to reader whether John's jacket is blue unless that is telling us something about John -- if you could substitute "new green" with "ugly blue" and it makes no difference to the story whatsoever, then why have it at all?

I think -- and this is just me -- that readers have a limited attention for details, so the ones you give them ought to be important. I just read my daughter "The Secret Garden" and we spent 75 pages describing and describing and describing the plants in the garden without moving the story along at all. She eventually asked me to move to the end because there was so much description and not enough movement. Readers -- again, my opinion -- don't get lost in someone else's world, they get lost in the world in their own inspired by the author's creation.

But people of good will can disagree, and I am in no way saying mine is the only opinion. It's just my take.
 
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