This should be the best story I've written, but it's not

gettingby · Jan 26, 2015

I have worked really hard on my latest story. I love the idea of it. I love the characters. The plot is interesting. But for some reason it's not coming together. And I can't figure out why.

I know without reading it that you can't tell me what might not be working, but do you guys have any tips for figuring out the problems in your short stories when they don't seem obvious? I will be workshopping this story in school, but I always workshop stories that I feel are my best work. This it not it. I keep trying to figure out what's wrong, but I am failing to see any real problems other than it just seems off for some reason.

Has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do about it? How can you train yourself to spot and fix problems in your own writing?

ap123 · Jan 26, 2015

Have you thought of using a different POV? Or changing the POV character?

Neegh · Jan 26, 2015

You may not be listening to how the story wants to be told. It may not want to be as you are perceiving it. Maybe it's a fist-person POV or a third person...or maybe it's just that the angle that you are looking at from it needs to be tweaked a bit.

Oh, and it may just be a voice issue.

stormie · Jan 26, 2015

Or you can put it aside for a week or so, then revisit it. Or better yet, a month.

Marlys · Jan 26, 2015

I agree--put it aside, and look at it fresh later. In the meantime, maybe head over to SYW and critique other people's work? That always helps me focus my critical eye for my own writing.

gettingby · Jan 26, 2015

I have played around with this one quite a bit. I even opened a new document and rewrote it from scratch more than once. This helped some. Maybe a lot, actually. It reads very clean and flows nicely so I am thinking the problem is more with the story than the writing. However, I do love this story. It's close, just not quite there.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time before I have to turn it in. In sure my classmates will tell me everything that is wrong and then some. But, like I said, I'm pretty nervous about it because I usually workshop pieces that I am more happy with than I am this story. Even my best work can bring on some harsh critiques. I'm already afraid of the comments I will get on this one even though I have no idea what they will say.

I just wish there was a way for me to pinpoint what is keeping this story from being great. And I wish I could figure it out before anyone else reads it.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 27, 2015

Three things. 1. You may simply lack the skill at this stage to make it any better than it is. Tackling ever tougher stories is how we learn, but it also means we are often behind the curve, so the story doesn't come together as we'd like. 2. How do you know it isn't coming together well? Writers are always the worst judges of their own work, with untrained beta readers being a close second. One thing I like about college was having qualified better readers, be it a selling professor, or a visiting writer, to look over my work. I seldom listened to them, but that's another story. 3. Far more often than not, no story will match our vision for that story. You just have to let go, anyway, and put it on the market.

tko · Jan 27, 2015

critique

You can read published novels, study, and practice, but in my opinion it all comes together when you critique other works besides your own.

Sure, you could try to apply your research to your own work 1st, but seeing your flaws is much harder. Starting with other's writing is much easier, a practice step. After a while, finding mistakes becomes a habit.

I highly recommend Scribophile. You can log on in the morning, warm up with a good critique, then jump into your work.

It really works.

gettingby said:
Has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do about it? How can you train yourself to spot and fix problems in your own writing?

gettingby · Jan 27, 2015

tko said:
You can read published novels, study, and practice, but in my opinion it all comes together when you critique other works besides your own.

Sure, you could try to apply your research to your own work 1st, but seeing your flaws is much harder. Starting with other's writing is much easier, a practice step. After a while, finding mistakes becomes a habit.

I highly recommend Scribophile. You can log on in the morning, warm up with a good critique, then jump into your work.

It really works.

I critique my classmates work for workshop. I give them two page responses on each of their stories, but, honestly, I don't think critique others has really helped my writing. I know people on here are always saying that. I have thought about using SYW but decided against it based on the comments left by others. I can be a tough critic, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. For now, I am going to stay away from that, but I critique the work of my MFA classmates every week. It's a little different because in school we put a lot into the comments we give and then discuss them. And people are brutally honest, even the professors. I had a story where my professor said he loved it, what a great opening. That was followed by, "Take your first paragraph and tell that story. Scrap everything else."

gettingby · Jan 27, 2015

Jamesaritchie said:
Three things. 1. You may simply lack the skill at this stage to make it any better than it is. Tackling ever tougher stories is how we learn, but it also means we are often behind the curve, so the story doesn't come together as we'd like. 2. How do you know it isn't coming together well? Writers are always the worst judges of their own work, with untrained beta readers being a close second. One thing I like about college was having qualified better readers, be it a selling professor, or a visiting writer, to look over my work. I seldom listened to them, but that's another story. 3. Far more often than not, no story will match our vision for that story. You just have to let go, anyway, and put it on the market.

1.) I would like to think I am not behind the curve. I did get into a good program, but I do know I am not the best in the class, not the worst either. I know some people don't see the value of an MFA, but I do, and I worked really hard to be here. But this story is different than my other pieces. It is more ambitious.

2.) I wish I could pinpoint what is not working. A lot of this could be my nerves, or at least that is adding something to my self doubt. Over break, two of my classmates went on a little field trip with me so I could do some research for this story. They are expecting this story from me. At the same time, I feel like they are going to be able to tell me exactly what is wrong with the piece. Maybe that does say something about how my skills stack up next to theirs.

3.) I hear what you're saying, but so far the market has shown me little to no love.

filwi · Jan 27, 2015

Well... I'm not a very experienced writer but when something like this happens to me I do one of two things:

I go back to the first moment in the story where I feel that it's going haywire, then back up one more paragraph, and then start writing it anew from that point. Or I just toss out everything and rewrite it from the first hook.

Or I go back to the last point where it's working and then I switch medium. If I was writing on the computer I write the last sentence on a sheet of paper and write the rest longhand. If I was writing on paper I transcribe up to that point, then start writing the story on the computer. I find that this change in pace of writing lets my creativity do things to the story that I wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Often it changes completely, but mostly for the better.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 27, 2015

tko said:
You can read published novels, study, and practice, but in my opinion it all comes together when you critique other works besides your own.

Sure, you could try to apply your research to your own work 1st, but seeing your flaws is much harder. Starting with other's writing is much easier, a practice step. After a while, finding mistakes becomes a habit.

I highly recommend Scribophile. You can log on in the morning, warm up with a good critique, then jump into your work.

It really works.

Reading novels and short stories is critiquing the works of others, and without the needless waste of time. Starting with the writers of others who are as bad, or worse, than you are is all needless, wasted time. You don't see mistakes in your own writing by reading more bad writing, you see your own mistakes by reading other, good writing.

It stuns me how many thousands of incredibly good writers exists before they had a wondrous internet full of beta readers and critique groups. I'm surprised any of them managed to sell a thing.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 27, 2015

gettingby said:
1.) I would like to think I am not behind the curve. I did get into a good program, but I do know I am not the best in the class, not the worst either. I know some people don't see the value of an MFA, but I do, and I worked really hard to be here. But this story is different than my other pieces. It is more ambitious.

2.) I wish I could pinpoint what is not working. A lot of this could be my nerves, or at least that is adding something to my self doubt. Over break, two of my classmates went on a little field trip with me so I could do some research for this story. They are expecting this story from me. At the same time, I feel like they are going to be able to tell me exactly what is wrong with the piece. Maybe that does say something about how my skills stack up next to theirs.

3.) I hear what you're saying, but so far the market has shown me little to no love.

If you aren't behind the curve, you aren't challenging yourself enough. Good writers try to always stay a little behind the curve. Poor writers play it safe.

The market is not there to show you love, it's there to honestly evaluate your stories so you'll grow.

Follow Heinlein's Rules, all of them, to the letter, and you will, if you don't make excuses, succeed to some degree.

tko · Jan 27, 2015

Jamesaritchie said:
Reading novels and short stories is critiquing the works of others, and without the needless waste of time. Starting with the writers of others who are as bad, or worse, than you are is all needless, wasted time. You don't see mistakes in your own writing by reading more bad writing, you see your own mistakes by reading other, good writing.

I would strongly disagree. Wonderful, polished work can hide the writing process from the beginner. We see the results, but not how they are achieved. You aren't given a nuclear reactor to dissemble in 1st year engineering. Instead, you are taught small basic steps. Criticizing others at your level drives good habits home though repetition and practice. Hey, they did this and that wrong . . . so obvious . . . wait a minute, that's exactly what I've been doing.

It's exactly like query letter hell. Would you advise prospective query letter writers to not waste their time there, but instead jump directly to great, successful queries?

If simply reading best sellers or great literary works turned people into good writers, we'd all be famous.

Bottom line, critiquing others with active feedback engages more of your critical facilities than simply reading does, and is not "a needless waste of time." Yes, you do want others near your own level. Correctly spelling and grammar is a waste if you've already mastered that.

beachbum21k · Feb 6, 2015

I think that you should post your stuff in SYW. It's my favorite place on this site. It can be incredibly helpful to get feed back from several writers who all have different backgrounds. If you see someone's opinion that you disagree with-ignore it.
The nice thing about the people in SYW is that they are reading your work because they choose to. Even though I'm sure many of your classmates have good intentions they have to critique your work for a grade. In my experience classmate critiques have been more harsh than the critiques on this site.

I hope that it works out for you though no matter what you decide to do. If you feel strongly about this story keep working on it.

gettingby · Feb 6, 2015

beachbum21k said:
I think that you should post your stuff in SYW. It's my favorite place on this site. It can be incredibly helpful to get feed back from several writers who all have different backgrounds. If you see someone's opinion that you disagree with-ignore it.
The nice thing about the people in SYW is that they are reading your work because they choose to. Even though I'm sure many of your classmates have good intentions they have to critique your work for a grade. In my experience classmate critiques have been more harsh than the critiques on this site.

I hope that it works out for you though no matter what you decide to do. If you feel strongly about this story keep working on it.

I'm glad SYW works for you, but it is not something I am interested in at least for now. I also think things might be different in grad workshops vs. undergrad workshops. My MFA program is pretty small, and I think there is a benefit to workshopping with the same people over and over again. I honestly don't think people are thinking about or worried about workshop grades.

gettingby · Feb 6, 2015

I don't know if any of you saw my post about a lost story. This was the story.

BartlebySays · Feb 12, 2015

gettingby said:
I have worked really hard on my latest story. I love the idea of it. I love the characters. The plot is interesting ...

The answer is in your own words. If your post is truthful.

blacbird · Feb 12, 2015

gettingby said:
I just wish there was a way for me to pinpoint what is keeping this story from being great. And I wish I could figure it out before anyone else reads it.

Starting a thread here whingeing about how your story isn't working, and then being unwilling to let anybody else look at it is pretty lame.

caw

gettingby · Feb 12, 2015

blacbird said:
Starting a thread here whingeing about how your story isn't working, and then being unwilling to let anybody else look at it is pretty lame.

caw

I always start threads hoping they will turn into interesting discussions. I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel this way about a story he or she wrote. That being said, it would be great if someone wants to take a look. I am happy to do a trade with anyone here. And that goes especially for you, Blacbird. I have been curious about your writing for some time.

This should be the best story I've written, but it's not

gettingby

ap123

Twitching

Neegh

stormie

storm central

Marlys

Resist. Love. Go outside.

gettingby

Jamesaritchie

tko

just thanks fore everything

gettingby

gettingby

filwi

Jamesaritchie

Jamesaritchie

tko

just thanks fore everything

beachbum21k

I'm tired

gettingby

gettingby

BartlebySays

blacbird

gettingby