Onomatopoeia, how much is too much?

Arztwolf

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This is mainly fanfiction related, but how often can you use onomatopoeia without overdoing it?

Like if one of your characters is getting spanked (WHACK!, OW, etc.).

Before you ask, yes I mainly do slash.
 

CaroGirl

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Too much of this kind of thing can make your work read like a comic book. Unless that's what you're going for, I suggest scaling it back. People know what a slap on the face sounds like (smack), or the noise a person makes when they get punched in the gut (ooph). Less is more. If used sparingly, when it really counts, onomatopoeia can have a great impact. If used too frequently, the impact is diluted and, even worse, it becomes so obvious that you'll pull readers right out of your story at a crucial moment.
 

King Neptune

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I agree with Caro. Forget about the "whack" and so on; just writing that someone is being spanked is quite adequate.
 

Myrealana

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I would use it very sparingly.

It can be effective when used to show the shock of hearing something unexpected from a character's perspective, but really you have to be careful unless it's a 60s Batman parody.
 

Jamesaritchie

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For adults, I'd say very sparingly, or not at all. For kids, early and often.
 

Arztwolf

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Too much of this kind of thing can make your work read like a comic book. Unless that's what you're going for, I suggest scaling it back. People know what a slap on the face sounds like (smack), or the noise a person makes when they get punched in the gut (ooph). Less is more. If used sparingly, when it really counts, onomatopoeia can have a great impact. If used too frequently, the impact is diluted and, even worse, it becomes so obvious that you'll pull readers right out of your story at a crucial moment.

I think that's part of my problem, in one story I put in close to 20 WHACKS. :e2paperba
 

Gringa

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oh no- guilty on this one. But I love it.

Gonna keep it.

Clickitty clickity clack....
 

Maryn

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The thing with writing a spanking is that the sound of the swats is not what matters, not to the characters and not to the reader. So forget about providing so much of that and instead, get as deeply inside the brain of the point of view character as you can. How does he feel physically? What memories does this stir up? What are his present hopes? Fears? Whether your POV is the spanker or spankee, I guarantee this is what readers are there to read.

Maryn, oof!
 

skylark

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If what people are thinking when they read that bit of your story is "oh look, onomatopoeia" then it's too much. You (and they) should be thinking about the picture, not the brush strokes. If I read twenty consecutive "WHACK"s, I'd probably start laughing, which surely isn't what you're going for.

Not sure what it being fanfic or slash would have to do with it.