Edits Due Today--Help on Three Sticky Issues?

Maryn · Jan 7, 2015

Due to a family funeral out of state and a hotel without free internet, I have one-count-'em-one day to complete my line edits, accepting or rejecting each change. The line editor is new to me, not the same one I had last time at this publisher, and she seems quite good, catching lots of things neither I nor my editor did. (Which is, of course, her job, for which she seems more than qualified.)

I'm virtually done except for a few corrections I don't really want to make. I don't want to reject any without being able to say why. ("I don't like it!" seems insufficient.) Though you will surely be tempted, please don't suggest I rewrite the sentences. That's a bigger deal than it seems, at this stage.

In each of these, can you tell me whether the comma is necessary or optional? If you can cite the Chicago Manual to back your claim, you get bonus points.

1. We talked and laughed so much[,] our meals were half-eaten when the wine was gone. (Comma, yes or no, and why?)

2. I talked to Holly about cutting classes while the school looked the other way[,] because she rocked the theater arts department even though other actors’ kids went to the same school. (Comma, yes or no, and why?)

3. Just because a thought occurs[,] doesn’t mean you need to share it. (Comma, yes or no, and why?)

Maryn, able to see the finish line now

mirandashell · Jan 7, 2015

I would say no to all three. A comma spoils the flow. I'm probably wrong on the grammar but they all sound better without.

Osulagh · Jan 7, 2015

No commas in all three.

amergina · Jan 7, 2015

I'm not an expert, but:

1) no comma. It's a restrictive clause (there is a "that" that's implied, but can be dropped). [6.22 CMoS online]

We talked and laughed so much [that] our meals were half-eaten when the wine was gone.

2) Yes comma, because it's a dependent clause. (6.31) If the comma feels funny, you may want to switch the clauses. That is:

Because Holly rocked the theater arts department even though other actors’ kids went to the same school, I talked to her about cutting classes while the school looked the other way.

3) Yes comma. Dependent clause again. There's an implied it that's missing. When put in, the comma makes more sense.

Just because a thought occurs, [it] doesn’t mean you need to share it.

Sage · Jan 7, 2015

I would have predicted a comma in the first one because of the missing "that." But I really would've just added the "that" in and left the comma out.

King Neptune · Jan 7, 2015

First: I'd put in the "that" and forget the comma.

Second: I would completely rewrite the sentence. I don't know what part of that sentence is important, so I won't suggest a rewrite.

Third: I would drop the comma, because the introductory clause is the subject of "doesn't".

Chase · Jan 7, 2015

1. We talked and laughed so much[,] our meals were half-eaten when the wine was gone. (Comma, yes or no, and why?) No comma. Never replace "that" with a comma. Either replace the missing "that" or rewrite to something like: We talked and laughed until our meals were only half-eaten when the wine was gone.

2. I talked to Holly about cutting classes while the school looked the other way[,] because she rocked the theater arts department even though other actors’ kids went to the same school. (Comma, yes or no, and why?) Your choice. Many remove commas from trailing subordinate clauses, but it's always correct to insert a comma where you have it.

3. Just because a thought occurs[,] doesn’t mean you need to share it. (Comma, yes or no, and why?) Yes. A comma should separate a long introductory element (especially an introductory clause) from the main clause.

Maryn · Jan 7, 2015

Sending it in now. Thanks for the very speedy responses, everyone!

Maryn, who's done nothing else all day

Russ Mars · Jan 11, 2015

Ha, I go along with Chase's explanations, and can see how it really may be simply up to a particular editor's discretion.

But, what did seem incorrect is the hyphen in "half-eaten." A half-eaten meal is correct, but a meal half eaten should be written just like that. But, from what you've said in the past, these may be the editors with some odd requirements regarding hyphen use.

Maryn · Jan 11, 2015

This publisher is serious about the Chicago Manual of Style, which has special rules for compounds formed with "half."

CMOS7.85: adjectives forming a compound with “half” are hyphenated regardless of placement in relation to the noun they describe, but nouns and verbs are usually not. Check Merriam-Webster online for permanently hyphenated or closed nouns or verbs.

Which means I get to look up ever so many! I'm quite aware Chicago was never intended for fiction but rarely care enough about any given correction to fight for it going my way.

Maryn, who did make a few small tussles this time around

absitinvidia · Jan 13, 2015

#3: no comma. You never separate the subject of a sentence (Just because a thought occurs) from its predicate (doesn’t mean you need to share it).

The basic sentence structure is "This doesn't mean that," so "just because a thought occurs" is NOT an introductory clause but is, as I said, the subject of the sentence.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 14, 2015

No commas in any of the three. The first has no clause. The second has a comma before "because", and this is always wrong unless not using a comma would cause confusion. There is no confusion in this case, so no comma. There is no clause at all in the third sentence, so no comma.

Maryn · Jan 14, 2015

Please, everyone, the edits have been turned in. No more replies, although as always I appreciate the sharing of everybody's expertise and opinions.

Maryn

quickWit · Jan 14, 2015

I have a fever, and the only cure, is more commas,.

...and more replies.

qW, halpful

Maryn · Jan 14, 2015

{Grin}

Edits Due Today--Help on Three Sticky Issues?

Maryn

Baaa!

mirandashell

Osulagh

Independent fluffy puppy.

amergina

Pittsburgh Strong

Sage

Supreme Guessinator

King Neptune

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

Maryn

Baaa!

Russ Mars

Interesting little planet you've got here.

Maryn

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absitinvidia

A bit of a wallflower

Jamesaritchie

Maryn

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quickWit

Totally Ninja!

Maryn

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