Example
It might be helpful if you'd post something, just because I don't think it's that clear how pervasive a problem or what level it is from this. I mean I've seen people switching within sentences, back and forth from sentence to sentence, full tenses, and it's a major problem they don't notice, but I've also seen people who fret over a character speaking about the past and the person wonders if the tenses are correct for dialogue or whatever.
Please do so. Generally, it's recommended for longer excerpts that you post in the Share Your Work forum, but for simple questions like this, it would be appropriate to post a short example excerpt right here.
Here's an assignment I recently submitted for school; its my second attempt so far in my life at murder mystery. I do realize there are other issues with it, but my current focus are tenses:
Tackles and Murder
Ms. Mavery did not murder Fawkin.
From the football field huddle with his teammates, Julian Abel caught a glimpse of men in black outfits and hats escorting a middle aged woman to police cars parked on the street curb. Her outfit was classy; she wore a purple dress top with sleeves that extends to her wrist, and a pair of dress pants. Her hair is in a updo, with a over-sized bobby pin sticking out to the sky. But the odd green bracelet around her wrist with the small, lizard pendant along with the black cape that fell from her shoulders was how Julian identified her.
Ms. Mavery. The math teacher.
Her eccentric ways of dressing is well-known. Once he had spotted Ms. Mavery in a multi-coloured parka and pants with jade coloured shoes. Another time she wore a red hat with a small teddy bear at the front and grey leotards. The entire school would stare at her. Anyone would stare at her. He knew she didn’t kill Fawkin. But what he thought didn’t matter, because no one could know that she didn’t do it.
"They finally got her," George, Julian's teammate, follows his gaze. His broad shoulders and blond hair stand out.
Julian nods, "You think she did it?"
George opens his mouth, but not a sound emerges from his lips. Instead, he continues to watch the police escort the teacher off of school property, "I'm not sure," George crosses his arms over his chest, "it doesn't make sense."
"Doesn't make sense?" Julians heartbeat accelerates. He glances down at his fingers, all but his forefinger have a couple of inches of yellow tape wound around so a inch of fingernail is showing, “what do you mean?”
“Ms. Mavery is eccentric. I’ll give her that. But she’s too frail to...murder anyone.”
“Looks can be deceiving.”
“True,” George laughs, “I’m sure its nothing. I heard from a friend that they found something odd at the crime scene...”
“Odd?”
“A piece of tape. Can’t remember the color. It’s probably nothing.” George wanders off towards the other group huddled on the other side of the line. But Julian wasn’t so sure. The captains voice booms over his thoughts, and after a play has been decided, they form a line in front of the opposing team. All of the players on the field wore red, the only difference being the number of their backs and the name. Julian frowns, staring at the grass. It was suppose to be easy. Did anyone else feel like George did? Unsettled about the crime scene and how it was set up? He didn’t know for sure, but deep down something was bugging him. He rubs his bare forefinger with his thumb, and suddenly the players in front of him disappear.
“Abel!” His captain yells, stomping over towards Julian. He stood up, brushing the wet pieces of grass from his knuckles, "Is this a joke to you?"
The captains stale, pungent breath enters Julians nostrils, "No sir."
"Is THIS a JOKE to you?"
"No sir!"
"Then why aren't you doing your job?"
"I don't know sir..."
"You don't know?" The captain chuckled, glancing around at the field, "this isn't ballet school, Abel. This is football practice. When you walk on to MY field, I expect you to come prepared. None of this..." He points at his head, "...thinking stuff. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir." Julian gazes at the ground, attempting to avoid the captains eyes.
"Do you?" The captain pushes, "do you understand?"
Julian swallows, "Yes sir!"
"I don't think you do. So you are going to run TWENTY laps around the field. NOW!"
Torture. Julian frowns, but he couldn’t argue the captain. He takes off towards the sidelines, he would have to run the laps. And he was going to do so. Julian ran slowly on the sidelines around the field a few times, contemplating. He didn’t know what he was going to do. If anyone else had an unsettling feel about the crime scene….especially the police, he was going to have to do something about. “Excuse me!” A far off voice calls. Julian’s head snaps up, a figure approaches from the road. A man with brown hair, a grey coat and a black outfit. He stops, watching the man as he grew closer."Detective Ryan Harris. NYPD," He flashes his badge, "I'd like to ask you a couple of questions about the murder." The detective was now in front of him.
"Murder?" Julian's heart begins to pound harder in his chest, masked by the exhaustion of completing two laps around the field, "What murder?"
The detective scowls. Julian was thankful the man couldn't read his mind, "Fawkin Brown was found stabbed to death this morning outside a classroom."
"Wow," Julian scratches the back of his neck, "I'm embarrassed. That's terrible."
"Yes..." The detective reaches into his pocket for notebook and pulls it out. Julian couldn't figure out why the detective wanted to talk to him, but didn't push it, "where were you between two and four this morning?"
"At home. Sleeping."
"Can anyone verify that?"
Julian nods, "My mother. She comes into my room once every hour," The detective frowns, "She's over-protective and...obsessive."
"Okay..." The detective scribbles something down into his notepad, "did you know the victim?"
"Not really. We were on the same football team, but Fawkin was a loner. He didn't talk to anyone."
"And you know this because...?"
Julian's eyes widen a little. He wasn't suppose to say that, "Saw him around school. Most of the time he kept to himself."
"Ah," The detective scribbled down more words into his notepad. Julian's back starts to tense up, he didn't like being questioned and if this continued much longer he'd say something else incriminating, "one more question. Did Fawkin have any enemies? For example your math teacher."
The moment of truth, "I don't know. But I heard them arguing once a while back."
"What was the argument about?"
“I only got pieces. Something about money...drugs maybe.”
Detective Harris doesn’t push the matter. He continues to scribble down words into his notebook before closing it up and slipping it into his pocket, “Thank you for your help.”
“Can I ask a question?” Julian asks, a bad move but he was dying to know, “did...she murder Fawkin?”
“We think so,” Detective Harris smiles, “have a nice day.”
A smile stretches on Julian's lips. He strokes his bare fore finger with his thumb, watching the detective walk away. It had worked.
He didn't mind the weight of his teammates judgmental stares anymore. Or the laps he had to run for missing that tackle. Julian was sure the police wouldn't be coming back. He wanted to celebrate.
The culprit had gotten away.
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My issue is staying away from other tenses and consistently staying with present. I HAVE been reading a good portion of my life, but I have always had issues with grammar (I think it hates me
)