Dear Character (Thread 2 in the Talk to Me Series)

Namatu

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That's not my fault. Kaitie made that tiger, whom I named Lion. :D
 

Anaximander

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Nice - several of my characters need a talking to...

Dear Drake,

Wake up! You really do seem to be walking around half-asleep - which might explain how you keep blundering into these things... Don't worry though. Soon you'll wake up. Adrenaline is very good at waking people up, and finding oneself under fire and surrounded by explosions tends to get the adrenaline pumping. Which reminds me: I'm really, truly sorry. It's the only way he'll ever really see. You'll get the chance you want - just remember what it cost him, and don't waste it.

Dear Lissa,

Please talk to me! I really need you, and if you're going to sit and give me that cold stare it's going to make things very difficult. I know you've learned to keep everything locked away, but some of those secrets will have to come out in time. You don't know it yet, but these people can help you, if you let them in. First, though, you have to let me in, or I won't be able to make it happen.

Red,

No "dear" for you - if I talk like a civilian, you'll ignore me. Not that you're paying much attention as it is - for a soldier, you're terrible at doing what you're told. I know it's not your fault. You're trained to act a certain way, and it would take a lot to make you deviate from that. The thing is, I really need you to do just that at some point, because it's hard to write about what happens when someone does a Thing if the person in question never actually does the Thing. I don't want to write the biography of one of the extras in the background of the actual story. Do something interesting already.
 

Namatu

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Cute is cute. You're not fooling anybody, you know.
You're delusional. I'm mean scary.

Dear Elena,

Honey, where'd you put your gun?

Love,
The Replotter
Dear lizmonster,

Which gun? The one in my hip holster or the one in the ankle holster or the one... which gun?
 

lizmonster

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Dear lizmonster,

Which gun? The one in my hip holster or the one in the ankle holster or the one... which gun?

Dear Alter-Elena,

HEY. I've got my own problems. Get the cute Lion lady to help you.

-lizmonster

P.S. If you should see an extra gun lying around, could you toss it through the looking glass for me? Thanks.
 

lizmonster

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Dear Trey,

Do you want to hit Clive?

I mean, I know he hasn't really done anything to you, but I kind of want to hit him. Help me out here.

Love,
Liz
 

Saoirse

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This looks like fun.

Dear Emily,

You're a total b!tch and I'm having trouble feeling sympathy for your plight and if I have trouble, you better believe the reader will. So quit being so prickly and irritable and rude. Even though you've got a sucky situation, you gotta suck it up for awhile, okay? Things will get better for you. (And maybe, just maybe...you can have Soren. We'll see).

Love and hugs,
Me.
 

sheadakota

part of the human equation
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Went to a party yesterday where most of the people had never heard the term vegan. That was fun. :rolleyes:

"What about butter? Surely you eat butter? :eek: EGGS? What's wrong with eggs?!" and "Here. This has honey in it, it's really good. What do you mean you don't eat honey?!" ::sigh:: Kind of a long day.

See that's when you should have ripped off your human mask revealing the Zombie inside and drawled out; BRAIINNSSS I just eat braaiinsss! Totally would have freaked them out.
 

sheadakota

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Cross, get a clue, get a life, forget the girl- she wants to kill you, get out of the facility before they lock you up and never let you out, save your brother, forgive your partner- the one who got you into this mess, don't forget the dog and hey smile, it's just fiction, right? :evil
 

lizmonster

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Dear Trey,

Oh s***. I forgot; you're not a killer.

That's going to make this scene a real pain to write.

Couldn't you be more of a jerk? Just for a few chapters? I mean, I get the whole "character consistency" problem, but still. Maybe you could have a rage fugue or something?

Stop telling me plotting is my problem. You're imaginary. Do as I say.

This is revenge for the ending, isn't it?

Annoyed and stuck,
Liz

 

heyjude

Making my own sunshine
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Dear Regina,

I'm pretty sure we've had this chat before, but let me reiterate for the record: you are not a main character. You're barely supposed to be a secondary character. You were there for the color--and you are certainly colorful!

Stop demanding that the show is about you. It's not.

Even though it increasingly is.

::sigh::

Mama
 

lizmonster

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Dear Elena,

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it? I told you PTSD comes in handy sometimes.

Now shake it off. You have things to do.

Love,
me
 

Namatu

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Dear Elena,

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it? I told you PTSD comes in handy sometimes.

Now shake it off. You have things to do.

Love,
me
Seriously, lizmonster. Stop it. I haven't had any time to write for the past month and you're still stalking my character? You are, in fact, ahead of where I am in the plot? Hm... do you want to finish my WIP for me? I'd wanted to have it done by October, but that's not possible - unless you do it. ;)

Dear My Elena,

Sorry I've left you in the office with Krug for an entire month. Take it up with my boss. And ignore lizmonster's talk of PTSD. I don't know what she... Stop looking at me like that.

*runs away*

Namatu
 

lizmonster

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Dear Janek,

You really are a horrible SOB, and I don't want to take that away from you; but I'm going to have to hint at your one redemptive trait a little earlier (and probably a little more often). I think I've pissed off my mom by not making you 100% evil, and by not killing you (she's kind of scary, my mom). And I have to agree with her - I did kind of lard on the awfulness.

I'm not going for any fluffy kitty stuff, though. You are still irredeemable, and I'm still considering making you the victim in Sequel #2.

Love,
The master manipulator

P.S. Namatu, if you have a character named Janek, we really have to get together and play the lottery.
 

mccardey

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Bloody hell, Tess - you're driving me crazy!! :rant:
 

TheIT

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I'll play. :D

Dear Rexton and Kestoney,

Yes, Rexton, I realize that all the other characters in my fantasy universe revere you and that yes, you're going to become the first king and go down in history as one of the greatest leaders ever. I just have one request: TELL ME HOW YOU DID IT, otherwise this year's NaNo is going to be over REALLY quickly.

And Kestoney, front and center! As the bard who chronicled Rexton's life, you're the main story narrator, but you need to tell me the true tales, not the glossy versions that made it into the histories.

Cheers,
Your Author (yes, really)
 

lizmonster

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Ken's disagreements with Kelli have reminded me of this thread.

Dear Greg,

Look, I promised you a book. I didn't promise you you weren't going to be a jackass for most of it.

Love,
Mom
 

Saoirse

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Dear Emily,

So are you the Queen or not? And Soren, what are you exactly? Need to know these things.

No love,
The Lowly Writer Chick Who Needs Answers
 

Namatu

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P.S. Namatu, if you have a character named Janek, we really have to get together and play the lottery.
No, I don't, but the name is familiar... I bet I can stick a Janet in mine somewhere. To kill off, of course. Ooh, good. I needed more cannon fodder.

--
Dear Brody,

I don't know what you're going to say to Max. Think of something helpful. I'm fresh out.

Also? Totally not my fault you're getting dragged into this, but very helpful you have that bio-mechanical eye. I think. The plot may have changed without telling me.

Yours,

Namatu
 

lizmonster

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Dear Elena,

He's right, you know. Get out of your own head for 2 minutes and stop being such a b**** about it.

Love,
Mom

P.S. If I add a character named Brody, don't tell Namatu.
 

Namatu

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Dear Elena,

He's right, you know. Get out of your own head for 2 minutes and stop being such a b**** about it.

Love,
Mom

P.S. If I add a character named Brody, don't tell Namatu.
Can Elena ever really stop being a b****? It is perhaps a trait programmed into the name.

Brody says hey, lizmonster. He's almost figured out what to say. But at least he's reached Max now. Right in time for me to completely mess with the timeline.

Dear Book's Timeline,

A little clarity earlier on would have been nice. You kind of suck.

Yours with mild resentment,
Namatu
 

lizmonster

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Dear Greg,

So what do you do? Do you let her do it, because really, she's more qualified? Or do you play the Romantic Hero[tm] and refuse to let her take the risk? And would she actually put up with that, or would she kick your backside and do it herself anyway?

Make up your mind, because I'm stuck until you do.

Love,
Me
 

IAMWRITER

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Dear Nate,

Why can't you come out with how you are feeling? You clearly love the girl but why do you have to put her in danger first?

Love,
Your Creator
 

SirTimberWolf

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I'll give this a shot... Because I'm kind of ruminating on this one.

Dear Amy,

I know things are looking a little rough right now-- the psychopath with the riddles, the child dying from the zombie bite and heroin addiction that ‘other’ protagonist gave her, (it was an accident, she didn’t know, you could have warned her though) and the gunshot wounds, but I promise you... It’ll get better.

Somehow.

I’m working on it. Just don’t bleed out before I figure it out, there’s plenty of suck to go around.

Your friend,

The Author

P.S. Yes, those moans you here outside are zombies. Get somewhere safe.