Personality Traits: Show, Don't Tell

How would you determine a person is shy in the real world? Through their actions. So have the character act shy. Instead of someone who's laughing at the top of their lungs and cracking jokes in the middle of a crowd, your character is trying to avoid others and they stay quiet.

Showing personality traits can sometimes take time to build up. To show someone is shy, you could have them too nervous to talk; they bashfully look at their feet more than they do the person talking to them. A child could hide behind the parent; an adult might use a Self-Scan rather than a normal check-out line to avoid conversation with people. Multiple shy-like actions peppered through the story will show the true personality of the character.

A risk-taker might be driving 60 miles an a hour on the highway during a lake effect snow storm where visibility is zero. Or he might play Russian Roulette. Someone with a temperament might swear a lot, or punch people out, slam doors, or get snippy with people. You show the external affects of being shy or being a risk-taker. If it's in the shy person's POV, you could include the internal affects of being shy. Perhaps she feels her ears burning and turning red because she's so nervous to confront someone.

Amy is shy:

Amy tried her best, but she bumped into Mr Anderson in the corridor anyway. She mumbled a 'Hi' and spent the next few excruciating minutes of him trying to make small talk thinking that hell opening up under her feet might even be preferable


Terry is a risk taker:

He'd gambled his spare money, his bus money, his food money and lost, but the next tip was a sure thing. A rangy looking chestnut in Terry's lucky pink colours, and Terry had it from the horse's lad he was on form. He looked in his wallet, and all that was left was the rent. Screw it. 'Big Spender, Kempton, 3:30. Five hundred to win*'

In other words, show them being shy, or taking a risk, and the consequences of that trait




* I very nearly typed "A monkey on the nose (five hundred to win) there, but figured it might confuse

Dialogue and interaction with other characters and situations. In a story, stuff happens, right?

caw

The same way as you would in a longer story, except that you're obviously not going to have the opportunity to show as many facets of your character's personality in something that's only a few thousand words long or shorter.

So which parts of her temperament are relevant to the story at hand and/or drive some aspect of the plot? If your character is a risk taker, it should show in the choices she makes (taking the less safe option), jumping into things where most people would be more hesitant and so on. And what are the consequences? Could her risk-taking tendencies be what gets her in trouble in the first place (starts the plot rolling), and could it also be what helps her solve her problems?

It's easy enough to show someone being shy too. What kinds of things do shy people do? Try to escape notice. Turn down invitations. Avoid eye contact. Stammer and blush when talking to strangers. Feel sick to their stomachs or have sweaty palms or a dry mouth (all those signs of sympathetic nervous system stimulation) when in new social situations. Tell themselves that they'll look like an idiot or that no one is going to like them. Hang back or make excuses when someone invites them somewhere. Speak in a soft, uncertain voice, or just not know what to say to people at all. If she's interacting with strangers in the story, shyness will likely come up organically. If she doesn't interact with people she doesn't know well, it may not come up at all. Or maybe she makes a choice to avoid something because of her shyness, and that influences the plot too.

Any or all of these may apply to your character and her situation in the story.

Short stories take place over relatively short times (usually), so chances are, many aspects of your character's personality won't come up at all. If it doesn't come into the story naturally, there's probably no benefit from telling the reader "she was always shy as a kid," or "Her favorite food is potatoes au gratin."

The key thing about depicting personality traits is point of view. How would your character describe that person? This works in both first and third person perspectives (unless you're doing omniscient, but that's a different story).

In some stories, it is acceptable to tell personality traits. It all depends on what's best for the story. If your character's just mentioning something in passing, you can do a bit of telling.

Here's my rule for showing and telling.

Show the important and interesting stuff. Tell the stuff that isn't. So how important is it that Amy is shy or that Terry is a risk-taker? If they're minor characters mentioned in passing, just tell us and move on. If they're central to the story, show us.

As a reader, I find that showing a personality trait works best if you show it multiple times throughout the story. One instance of a character being shy might not register in the reader's mind. If it becomes a pattern, the reader realizes that it's a consistent trait.

Yes, and it depends on whose point of view the story is told from also. If Amy's shyness is just something your pov character is noting about her, or something she notices in passing, then maybe there's no reason to concoct a scene that shows it. Of course, it's all down to whether there's a reason for your pov character to be thinking or talking about this character at all.

Just keep in mind that in a short story, you have far less room to show. So if it's important that Amy is shy, that shyness must be displayed as part of the ongoing story. If a personality trait is not an integral part of the story, don't waste words trying to show it.

If the length of the story restricts full personality trait development, identify certain behaviours typical of what you wish to portray (shyness: awkwardness in confrontation, lack of eye contact, negative body language, fiddling with hands, etc.) and drop them in. There's no need to over-egg the pudding!

I find this an incredible question from someone who is writing a short story. You must have read other short stories, surely.

Use your eyes and own experience. How do you determine if one of your pals is this or that?

Posted by Spy on the inside I'm working on a short story, and I'm trying to figure out ways to convey the characters' personality traits through showing rather than telling. Does anyone have any tips to share for how they accomplish this in their story, aside from saying "Amy is shy" or "Terry is a risk-taker"?

Click to expand...

Also, be sure to know the difference between simple shyness and full-blown social anxiety, which is an entirely different condition altogether.

Just show them doing things or making choices that a person with those traits might make. For example, what do shy people do? Maybe turn down an invitation to a party. Or avoid some event because it will be too noisy and crowded. You could also establish certain traits indirectly with little moments or images. One old cliche in movies and TV shows is to establish that a guy is a workaholic bachelor by showing how little food he has in his fridge. That particular one is outdated and silly, but things like this are what you're shooting for. Just give the readers pieces of a puzzle and let them put it together themselves.