The "I'm sorry" thread

Hannah M · Aug 22, 2014

... I've accepted my fate and no one is shoving anything down my throat to get it out. *coughs and dies*

I'm sorry you died last week but...

CDSinex · Aug 22, 2014

if you want to do standup, you have to say something funny.

I'm sorry your agent fired you, but ...

snowpea · Aug 22, 2014

I just got a book deal they're making a movie out of my life story.

I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend, but...

Nymtoc · Aug 22, 2014

...I really found the other two people in the bed more interesting.

I'm sorry your hair turned white overnight, but...

Komnena · Sep 4, 2014

but you should not have let the villain tie you to the train tracks.
I'm sorry I dumped those ten tiger cubs in your backyard but

Nymtoc · Sep 4, 2014

...aren't they cute? Until they weigh 900 pounds, that is.

I'm sorry all four of your car's wheels came off at the same time, but...

Hannah M · Sep 5, 2014

At least you were on a bridge so you had a soft landing

I'm sorry you had to go for a swim but...

Nymtoc · Sep 16, 2014

...it's always the best thing to do when you're being chased by a brontosaurus.

I'm sorry you broke out in purple spots the first time you went on the air as a news anchor, but...

jaus tail · Sep 17, 2014

we were busy watching the monkey sitting beside you.

I'm sorry that a monkey entered your car and drove it away, but

Hannah M · Sep 17, 2014

... at least you have 17 nice photos of him doing it. From all those speed cameras. And the guys in charge insist on you footing the bill.

I'm sorry your house was stolen but...

jaus tail · Sep 17, 2014

look at the bright side, even your mother-in-law went along with the house. God bless the robbers!

I'm sorry I forgot to water your plants, but

Hannah M · Sep 17, 2014

... we ran out of water. The guest giant elephant who slept in your room drank it all up.

I'm sorry we wrecked your room, but...

jaus tail · Sep 17, 2014

we found porn under the bed, so you better be quiet and do as we say less we show this to your mama who thinks you're a nice forty year old boi.

I'm sorry for putting your naked photos on facebook, but

Komnena · Sep 30, 2014

but aren't you happy they've gone viral?
I'm sorry I rode my Harley through your prize roses but

Nymtoc · Sep 30, 2014

It did it for a bet, and guess what? I won $5. So it was worth it, don't you think?

I'm sorry you've never been abducted by aliens, but...

Komnena · Oct 3, 2014

but that's what you get for shooting at them.
I'm sorry I stole the Mona Lisa but

Nymtoc · Oct 4, 2014

Leonardo's been dead for 500 years, so he's not likely to care.

I'm sorry you came to the office this morning in a bikini, but...

Hannah M · Oct 5, 2014

..only that ancient guard noticed.

I'm sorry I stepped on your toe with my steel-tipped boots but...

Nymtoc · Oct 7, 2014

...you really overdid it with those screams.

I'm sorry you were kicked out of school for lewd behavior, but...

shakeysix · Oct 7, 2014

When a class is titled Wood 1 they mean cabinet making!

I'm sorry that I smashed your tater tots during Geometry class but ...

Komnena · Oct 12, 2014

they were possessed by Satan and had to be destroyed.
I'm sorry I killed the mockingbird but

Hannah M · Oct 12, 2014

... at least I didn't pin the blame on you this time!

I'm sorry you were sentenced to 5 life sentences, but...

Nymtoc · Oct 12, 2014

...that means you'll live five lives--not as many as a cat, but still better than most people!

I'm sorry you borrowed your mother's diamond necklace and lost it, but....

K.L. Bennett · Oct 12, 2014

...actually, I stole it and pawned it to buy the new iPhone eleventy-billion. Look at how shiny and fancy and... What?

I'm sorry no one came to your birthday party last night, but...

shakeysix · Oct 12, 2014

but your mother's party was better!

i'm sorry that i told the teacher you had cooties but...

The "I'm sorry" thread

Me. Who else?

Imagine something clever here.

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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Me. Who else?

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Me. Who else?

Me. Who else?

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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Me. Who else?

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blue eyed floozy

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

Me. Who else?

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A floopy flolloper

blue eyed floozy