Rev Dr. Gregory W. Ellis, PhD, DD
(I can legally use those being an ordained minister with a PhD in Religion and having a Doctorate in divinity - all of which with $5 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks)
Pope General Greg I (The One & Only), High Commander of the Combined Fleets of Man, Ruler of Human Space, Defender of Earth, Sovereign of Ten Thousand Stars, Lion of the Galaxy, Lord Emperor of Man, etc., etc.
(Titles bestowed upon me by various players of my Fire On The Suns game)
Bartender
(title claimed at the Horror Hounds by default since no one else seemed to want it at the time)
Cook Extraordinaire
(Self-proclaimed title issued solely because I like to cook and cook well)
Author
(because I are one)
I won't add in my clearances or military-equivalent ranks since they're not pertinent.
Oh, oh! I almost forgot - Slayer Extraordinaire of Childhood Fantasies, Bringer Of Nightmares, Amateur Entomologist, Bender (But Not Breaker) of Scientific Rules, Despiser Of Twilight, Doctor Who Fan...
I may have forgotten a few too.