I knocked this out this morning, it's a first draft and I know it needs some (a lot) of work. I want to know whether you think this is a good piece of writing or not? How can I improve? Please be honest with me, I need to know if this hobby that I love so much, can become something more.
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As I slowly opened my eyes, I realised that the crashing and banging that existed in my dream was very real. I emerged from my bed with trepidation. My bare feet chilled on the wooden floors, my throat in my mouth as the noise downstairs got louder.
"Stop, stop" the voice of my mother screamed in pure terror.
As I rounded the corner to get a view of what was happening, I was sure that I must still be asleep. The large carving knife that usually had prided place in our kitchen was in midair but there was nobody holding the handle. The knife plunged with precision through and entered my mum's flailing body, again and again.
I closed my eyes, this couldn't be real. As I opened them again, my mother was now laying on the floor, curled up as the knife continued stabbing her. Not deep enough to kill, at least not immediately. Taunting her. Taunting me.
She finally looked up the stairs where I stood frozen and croaked, "Help me Katie."
She shook as she attempted to crawl towards me, as I slowly came down the stairs.
"There's no-one there, it's a ghost." she whispered.
The clunk of metal disturbed my thoughts and my eyes darted to the kitchen floor, the knife was tossed. It's over.
As she began to get up, she was harshly dragged off the floor and thrown against the kitchen wall, as she screamed.
She began to choke and I noticed the compression on her neck, the dents where the invisible fingers were pressing down on her throat.
I ran down the stairs, pushed and pulled where the mystery intruder would be standing. Of course, nothing happened and the strangulation continued as my mum turned a strange shade of blue. I grabbed the cordless phone off the wall and darted back up the stairs, as my thoughts went to my toddler brother who was taking a nap.
Ryan had just turned 2 and it was my job to make sure he was OK now. I went into his room and was relieved to see that he was asleep in his cot. His thick dark locks covered his face as he snored contently, oblivious to the horror that was happening downstairs. I bundled him up into my arms and he awoke, looking at me with his big blue eyes.
"Ka-eeee" he squealed out.
I cradled him and crouched down in the corner of the room unsure what was going to happen next.
"What doing ka-eee?"
"We're playing hide and seek." I said forcing a smile as Ryan giggled.
I realised that I still had the phone in my hand and I cautiously dialed 999.
"We need an ambulance quick..my mother's hurt" I started, I told the operator my address and hung on the phone. Not knowing what to say about the actual incident.
The door suddenly creaked open without any warning, I stood up and squeezed Ryan tighter into my chest as I suddenly realized how stupid it was to hide from somebody who didn't exist. Things starting being throw from the shelves, narrowingly missing me and my brother. He started to cry and I darted from the room. I covered his eyes as I ran down the stairs. The body of my mother lay crumpled on the floor. I ran out the back door, almost slipping as I went. I looked down and my feet were coated with sticky, crimson blood.
As I darted around the corner and up the street, I heard the sound of emergency vehicles coming from the opposite direction.
My mind flashed back to my dead mother, what would they think had happened? Would they blame me?
I decided to go to the only place where I knew I could, my boyfriend Aaron's house.
Thirty minutes later, I was sat with a cup of tea, my brother on my lap and Aaron holding my hand.
"Tell me what happened again babe." He said, his eyes narrowing.
As I repeated the story, he looked at me with a look of disbelief. "You're not smoking anything are you?"
"No!" I shouted in frustration, and a thought currently occurred to me, "Put on the news."
As he switched on our local news channel, a banner across the bottom read "Breaking news: Primary school teacher stabbed to death in own home." The newswomen stood in front of my home.
"It is not known how this tragedy occurred but the police are searching for the victims 17 year old daughter and 2 year old son, who are unaccounted for at this time. Their safety is a huge priority for police and they are urging Katie to come forward." A picture of me flashed on screen, taken a mere 3 months ago at my end of year prom.
"You need to go back. Why did you run? Just tell them what you saw." Ryan said, as he sat opened mouthed.
"And I'm sure they'll believe me... just like you did, right?"
Ryan stood up and seemingly right on cue, a brick smashed through the window and hit him in the head. His eyes widened before closing and he fell to the floor. The front door flung open and I realised, it was happening again.
-----
As I slowly opened my eyes, I realised that the crashing and banging that existed in my dream was very real. I emerged from my bed with trepidation. My bare feet chilled on the wooden floors, my throat in my mouth as the noise downstairs got louder.
"Stop, stop" the voice of my mother screamed in pure terror.
As I rounded the corner to get a view of what was happening, I was sure that I must still be asleep. The large carving knife that usually had prided place in our kitchen was in midair but there was nobody holding the handle. The knife plunged with precision through and entered my mum's flailing body, again and again.
I closed my eyes, this couldn't be real. As I opened them again, my mother was now laying on the floor, curled up as the knife continued stabbing her. Not deep enough to kill, at least not immediately. Taunting her. Taunting me.
She finally looked up the stairs where I stood frozen and croaked, "Help me Katie."
She shook as she attempted to crawl towards me, as I slowly came down the stairs.
"There's no-one there, it's a ghost." she whispered.
The clunk of metal disturbed my thoughts and my eyes darted to the kitchen floor, the knife was tossed. It's over.
As she began to get up, she was harshly dragged off the floor and thrown against the kitchen wall, as she screamed.
She began to choke and I noticed the compression on her neck, the dents where the invisible fingers were pressing down on her throat.
I ran down the stairs, pushed and pulled where the mystery intruder would be standing. Of course, nothing happened and the strangulation continued as my mum turned a strange shade of blue. I grabbed the cordless phone off the wall and darted back up the stairs, as my thoughts went to my toddler brother who was taking a nap.
Ryan had just turned 2 and it was my job to make sure he was OK now. I went into his room and was relieved to see that he was asleep in his cot. His thick dark locks covered his face as he snored contently, oblivious to the horror that was happening downstairs. I bundled him up into my arms and he awoke, looking at me with his big blue eyes.
"Ka-eeee" he squealed out.
I cradled him and crouched down in the corner of the room unsure what was going to happen next.
"What doing ka-eee?"
"We're playing hide and seek." I said forcing a smile as Ryan giggled.
I realised that I still had the phone in my hand and I cautiously dialed 999.
"We need an ambulance quick..my mother's hurt" I started, I told the operator my address and hung on the phone. Not knowing what to say about the actual incident.
The door suddenly creaked open without any warning, I stood up and squeezed Ryan tighter into my chest as I suddenly realized how stupid it was to hide from somebody who didn't exist. Things starting being throw from the shelves, narrowingly missing me and my brother. He started to cry and I darted from the room. I covered his eyes as I ran down the stairs. The body of my mother lay crumpled on the floor. I ran out the back door, almost slipping as I went. I looked down and my feet were coated with sticky, crimson blood.
As I darted around the corner and up the street, I heard the sound of emergency vehicles coming from the opposite direction.
My mind flashed back to my dead mother, what would they think had happened? Would they blame me?
I decided to go to the only place where I knew I could, my boyfriend Aaron's house.
Thirty minutes later, I was sat with a cup of tea, my brother on my lap and Aaron holding my hand.
"Tell me what happened again babe." He said, his eyes narrowing.
As I repeated the story, he looked at me with a look of disbelief. "You're not smoking anything are you?"
"No!" I shouted in frustration, and a thought currently occurred to me, "Put on the news."
As he switched on our local news channel, a banner across the bottom read "Breaking news: Primary school teacher stabbed to death in own home." The newswomen stood in front of my home.
"It is not known how this tragedy occurred but the police are searching for the victims 17 year old daughter and 2 year old son, who are unaccounted for at this time. Their safety is a huge priority for police and they are urging Katie to come forward." A picture of me flashed on screen, taken a mere 3 months ago at my end of year prom.
"You need to go back. Why did you run? Just tell them what you saw." Ryan said, as he sat opened mouthed.
"And I'm sure they'll believe me... just like you did, right?"
Ryan stood up and seemingly right on cue, a brick smashed through the window and hit him in the head. His eyes widened before closing and he fell to the floor. The front door flung open and I realised, it was happening again.
