The aloof character

ccarver30 · Jul 3, 2012

My new MMC is kind of aloof but when I re-read what I have written, I am afraid I am backing myself in to "He's creepy." corner. I think maybe I need to let him interact with characters other than the MFC so that more of his real personality can come out. He is trying to remain calm and in control of his feelings for her but knows he is in big trouble. He is somewhat soft-spoken around her and very matter-of-fact. When he is around his best friend, he is witty, funny, a realist and a bit sarcastic.

I guess my question is- how can I portray someone AS aloof and NOT creepy/jerk-like while preserving his well, reservations? Can you give an example?
Thanks!

jaksen · Jul 3, 2012

My Dad was aloof but he was a charming and intelligent man. After he died, several of his friends and co-workers told me he was 'the perfect man.'

Capable, intelligent, soft-spoken, my Dad was the one in a crowd who spoke seldom, but when he did, people listened. On first meeting him, someone might consider him 'arrogant,' but that label wouldn't stick for long. He spoke up when there was a problem, a puzzle, a dilemma that required an intuitive mind that could sort of see past the restrictions others did not. He was an electrician, but worked for a defense contractor and often was asked by the engineers and scientists for his input.

Anyhow, aloofness might simply mean the character is a bit introverted. Show his human side in conversations with people (in small groups or one-on-one) or in his interactions with an elderly person, a pet he has, a neighbor with a handicap that he helps out.

Personally I like quiet guys, but I married a social butterfly.

SomethingOrOther · Jul 3, 2012

ccarver30 said:
I guess my question is- how can I portray someone AS aloof and NOT creepy/jerk-like while preserving his well, reservations? Can you give an example?

Aloofness coincides with jerkiness in many cases, but it's very close to one of the polar opposites of creepy. The distance associated with people who might come across as creepy (imagine a leering wallflower who's afraid to talk to anyone, or an obsessed stalker who keeps tabs on their target from a distance) is usually a result of misguided emotional investment, not the sort of lack of emotion one would associate with aloofness.

It seems like you're conflating aloof and withdrawn. The connotations are a lot different.

jaksen said:
My Dad was aloof but he was a charming and intelligent man.

And would be a more fitting conjunction here.

TheWordsmith · Jul 3, 2012

There is a difference between the guy being aloof and being totally unreachable. He can interact with the MFC, being polite, courteous, respectful, even urbane and witty, without coming completely out of his shell and showing his full, true self as he is with his buds and interacting with her on a personal emotional level. Consider a college professor inundated by young co-eds who find him charming, handsome, sexy. He is no stuffed shirt but he must put up an emotional wall between himself and his female students. This is not who he really is but it is who he must portray himself to be.
This is sort of what you can do with your 'aloof' MMC. He is not a stand-offish guy, really, but he puts up that front in front of her.

ccarver30 · Jul 3, 2012

SomethingOrOther said:
Aloofness coincides with jerkiness in many cases, but it's very close to one of the polar opposites of creepy. The distance associated with people who might come across as creepy (imagine a leering wallflower who's afraid to talk to anyone, or an obsessed stalker who keeps tabs on their target from a distance) is usually a result of misguided emotional investment, not the sort of lack of emotion one would associate with aloofness.

It seems like you're using aloof as a substitute for withdrawn. The connotations are a lot different.

I do not want to say "withdrawn" because he IS social and interacts with people. I guess I mean aloof "on the inside".
Maybe "cool" or "detached"? He doesn't give any more than what is required... for now.

I understand your example and it's a good one.

ccarver30 · Jul 3, 2012

TheWordsmith said:
There is a difference between the guy being aloof and being totally unreachable. He can interact with the MFC, being polite, courteous, respectful, even urbane and witty, without coming completely out of his shell and showing his full, true self as he is with his buds and interacting with her on a personal emotional level. Consider a college professor inundated by young co-eds who find him charming, handsome, sexy. He is no stuffed shirt but he must put up an emotional wall between himself and his female students. This is not who he really is but it is who he must portray himself to be.
This is sort of what you can do with your 'aloof' MMC. He is not a stand-offish guy, really, but he puts up that front in front of her.

Yes, this is him!

NeuroFizz · Jul 3, 2012

If you have scenes in which he is the POV character, you can show his personality quirks that contribute to his aloofness through his reactions to people and various stimuli/events. You can also create great depth of character by having his shortcomings/fears/hesitations/strengths brought to the surface through the things he does or the things that happen to him while in the POV mode.

ccarver30 · Jul 3, 2012

NeuroFizz said:
If you have scenes in which he is the POV character, you can show his personality quirks that contribute to his aloofness through his reactions to people and various stimuli/events. You can also create great depth of character by having his shortcomings/fears/hesitations/strengths brought to the surface through the things he does or the things that happen to him while in the POV mode.

I think I need to read this 100 times and let it sink in in order to truly practice it. Thanks!

Chasing the Horizon · Jul 3, 2012

NeuroFizz said:
If you have scenes in which he is the POV character, you can show his personality quirks that contribute to his aloofness through his reactions to people and various stimuli/events. You can also create great depth of character by having his shortcomings/fears/hesitations/strengths brought to the surface through the things he does or the things that happen to him while in the POV mode.

Yes, this.

I have a character sort of like yours, though it sounds like she's even more introverted and universally aloof than your guy. Especially in the earlier parts of the story before she's comfortable with the other MC, most of the emotional action for her character only takes place in her POV. She doesn't give enough outward signs of it for others to guess what she's feeling.

I've never been told she comes off as "creepy" in any way, though. Creepy, to me, would be someone who's TOO interested. My aloof character is just the opposite of that. She appears disinterested even when she actually is interested.

ccarver30 · Jul 3, 2012

It's a lot more difficult for a female to be creepy than a male, imo.

My guy is very interested but is playing it cool because she is a little naive/innocent. He doesn't want to scare her away!

brianjanuary · Jul 4, 2012

You could write a "Save the Cat" scene (Blake Snyder's term), a device used in a lot of action movies to humanize an MC who goes around killing anyone who steps into his sights. In the STC scene (or subplot), the aloof, cold-eyed hero goes out of his way to help an animal in trouble, or save a kid from a bully, or lets the Bad Guy escape so that he (the MC) can tend to his wounded partner, or whatever. The MC can still be aloof and cold, but now he's humanized, and the audience realizes a tender heart beats under that tough exterior.

TheRajinski · Jul 4, 2012

What's that show.... NCIS. One character, Gibbs, is the perfect portrayal of aloof. Oftentimes cold, distant and reserved.

A good literary example would be Darcy in Pride and Prejudice.

One of my own characters in my WIP is the same way. Aloof to the point of gruff.

But I never really thought it could have been taken as creepiness. Aloofness is a general state of disinterest... or at least, a state of being "above" whatever else is going on -- usually the petty interests of others. It's often seen as arrogance or an excess of pride.

Those who are aloof are often seen as mysterious, or even dangerous as they don't make a habit of broadcasting their intentions.

For these characters, you really have to write with a light hand. They are the complete opposite of the loud, obnoxious, look-at-me characters. (And actually, these two types become perfect foils for each other.) Don't reveal everything about this character right away. Keep him mysterious.

You can soften him by giving him a close relationship with somebody. A sister maybe. Or a brother, even.

As far as creepiness goes... As long as he's not stalking her or leering at her, or obsessing too much... I think you should be fine.

GFanthome · Jul 4, 2012

What POV are you writing in? If it's first person POV, I can see your conundrum, but if it's not, think about how your other characters are seeing him. Maybe to them he does seem creepy because they just don't know him. Maybe other characters like him and understand why he's behaving the way he is. All things to consider.

Susan Coffin · Jul 4, 2012

I don't see aloof as creepy at all, but I might be leery of a person who is withdrawn.

To me, aloof simply means someone does not interact well in social situations, such as your character who is is funny around his best friend but not too friendly in social situations. They are not real friendly and people see them as cool, or even cold. Sometimes an aloof person comes across as arrogant, other times shy. However, I have friends who were aloof at first but who opened up once they got to know me (and others).

To me, withdrawn often means someone who does communicate with others and is that wallflower who does not make an effort to get out there. I have experienced withdrawn people as sometimes having mental instability, or perhaps they are depressed. It's hard to really befriend someone who is withdrawn because of unpredictability.

As for creepy, that comes in all sizes and shapes and personalities. Someone who is way too friendly is a bit creepy in my book (and I once knew someone like that).

cmi0616 · Jul 4, 2012

jaksen said:
Anyhow, aloofness might simply mean the character is a bit introverted. Show his human side in conversations with people (in small groups or one-on-one) or in his interactions with an elderly person, a pet he has, a neighbor with a handicap that he helps out.

I agree with this. I've found that dialogue is one of the best methods in terms of characterization, seeing as how your characters interact with other members of the story is so key to who they are. And everybody, unless s/he is a mute or has some other physiological disorder, or lives in a bubble, etc. does interact with other characters, and does engage in dialogue with other characters. The way the question was asked by the original poster, it almost sounds like the character doesn't really talk much with other characters, which itself could be a big part of the problem, especially if he is a main character.

But also, of course, is the possibility that your character is creepy. Maybe he's just a real sketchball, I don't know. The problem with characters is, for a writer anyways, that they don't always come out the way we intended. A good character take on a life of his/her own, and therefore has some characteristics that we didn't mean to give them. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think that a protagonist has to be "likeable" is a great myth. The main character simply has to be believable, and you should by all means give the reader some way to relate to him (if only in the slightest), but he doesn't have to be Prince Charming. Some of the best literary characters, in my opinion, were really unlikeable, even despicable people.

Buffysquirrel · Jul 4, 2012

I have a character who hardly talks to anyone, so he had to be written in first person or nobody would ever know what he feels or thinks...not even the reader.

Not sure he makes a very successful protag, tbh.

ccarver30 · Jul 9, 2012

Thanks for all the great replies, everyone.

CEMartin2 · Jul 9, 2012

Stoic,not aloof

Best example in literature I can think of is Doc Savage, from Lester Dent's awesome pulps of the 1930s. (If you've never read one, treat yourself, they're ebooks now)

Doc is very stoic, coming across as aloof in nearly every story.

Batman might be another stoic character. He's not exactly a pat-you-on-the-back kind of guy.

I think many a comic book character falls into this category- the grim, serious hero. They make a great straight man for the wise-cracking sidekicks.

My MC in my first book shares this stoicness, but lets go some zingers here and there to catch the reader off guard.

The aloof character

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

jaksen

Caped Codder

SomethingOrOther

-

TheWordsmith

practical experience, FTW

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

brianjanuary

TheRajinski

Probationary Agent

GFanthome

At the computer, opening a vein

Susan Coffin

Tell it like it Is

cmi0616

Buffysquirrel

ccarver30

Nicole Castro

CEMartin2