Help with Phrase and Tone

Spy_on_the_Inside

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Lately, I've been working on adding more precise tone to each of my different characters.

Ah, the fun of editing!

Anyway, I have one bit of dialogue that I'm trying to work. Another character warns the main character to keep her gun "close at hand" when she goes to confront the local sleazeball.

The thing is, the character who says this dialogue is described as very crash and barely literate. Would the phrase "close at hand" be considered too proper a phrase for him to say? And if so, what would be something more fitting?
 

Maryn

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I don't know what "very crash" means, but the phrase "close at hand" seems somewhat elevated speech for someone who's barely literate and sounds like it.

How you might better phrase it depends on what kind of poorly spoken your character is. Try on:

"Keep your gun on you, man. You gotta be able to reach it like it was already in your hand."

"Your gun's gotta be close. You don't set it down to take a piss or wash your hands without you can reach it."

"If you can't reach your gun in, like, one second, you're dead."

"Don't put it in the drawer, fuckhead. You think they're gonna give you time to open the fucking drawer?"

And so on.

Maryn, who does not have a gun at hand
 

King Neptune

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Ironmike hit it, unless you want it to be comprehensible to refined ladies. It that case, "Keep it drawn and cocked," might be better.
 

Chase

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"Yo, go strapped, homegirl - might be yo' ass."

This or something very similar is truer to a crass and barely literate character no matter how refined the listener may be. To elevate his diction to her level would be completely out of character.

Crass Chase