Make up an outrageous lie about the previous poster, part II

S. L. Saboviec

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WriterWho sneaks into DJ's cemetary at night, digs up the blow-up dolls, and props them up next to him while he's sleeping. She hides under DJ's bed and makes creaking noises until he wakes up. You should hear him scream like a little girl.
 

WriterWho

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^ Samantha Lane steals the blow up dolls (don't know why) after DJ runs out of his house still screaming like a girl, while WriterWho snickers and sneaks out from under the bed.
 

Drachen Jager

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WriterWho has become so obsessed with the idea of blow-up dolls that she's decided to start her own genre, in which all stories are told from a sex-doll's perspective.

A sample from her latest manuscript:

"He didn't even say hi to me when he came in the door, just ate his supper in silence then brought out the lube. He pulled me out of my box, and without the slightest foreplay he had his way with me.

I cried through the night, watching him sleep from the corner where he'd carelessly tossed me when he was done."
 

WriterWho

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^ Drachen Jager wasn't supposed to tell, so WriterWho will divulge DJ has partnered with WW in a combined novel. While WW writes from the blow up dolls perspective, DJ is writing from a dildo's.

A sampling of his first draft:

"Buzzzzzzz . . . buzzzzzzz . . . buzzzzzz"


(Obviously, WW will edit DJ's work.)
 

S. L. Saboviec

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WriterWho likes to edit works while speaking them out loud. Unfortunately for her, a swarm of bees mistakes it for a mating call. Ouch!
 

JoBird

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Samantha Lane believes that Sir Francis Bacon secretly wrote all of Stephen King's novels. Nothing has been able to convince her otherwise.
 

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Whenever Samantha Lane sees one of her friends in a mirror she laughs and says, "Haha, a fun-house mirror!" And then she frowns. "Oh no," she says. "That's just you."
 

Drachen Jager

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JoBird wishes he could travel back in time to meet Sir Francis Bacon. He'd walk up to Sir Francis, lean in really close, and give a big sniff. Then he'd say, "Funny, you don't smell like Bacon at all?"

Then he'd just laugh and laugh all the way back to his time machine.
 

WriterWho

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Drachen Jager threw his arm wide, wobbling tipsily, shouting on a slur, "We have arrived!"

Crickets.

He waved his hands at the individuals on pews dressed in mourning. "I understand. You're overwhelmed." A point to the side, tiptoeing carefully away before glaring at JoBird, hissing, "I told you this wasn't the right place."
 

Robbert

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WW was once heard shouting, "Crickets!"

A colleague popped his head around the office door, "What's it with crickets?"

"Mormon crickets," said WW, "I'm going to write a historical novel on the love life of these godly creatures!"

*good luck*
 

WriterWho

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Robbert enjoys hanging on to ceiling fans - while in motion - and twirling around and around.
 

JoBird

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WriterWho's pen name is LaQuifa. She says it's french.
 

Nymtoc

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iLion has jump-started his campaign to become the next Pope.
 

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In high school, WriterWho was known as WriterWhatever.
 

JoBird

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WriterWho invented a time machine. But she hasn't taken it to see the dinosaurs or ancient Rome or anything cool like that yet. She keeps hopping back to McRib weeks at McDonalds instead.
 

Drachen Jager

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JoBird wishes WW would take him along for the ride, but she's sick of hearing him ask when they'll go get some shamrock shakes. As she reminds him, it's a time machine, not a toy, and she won't meddle with the delicate balance of the timestream for something so frivolous as a shamrock shake.
 

S. L. Saboviec

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DJ's favorite item on the McDonald's menu is the cardboard box that the Big Mac comes in. To be honest, I don't blame him, since it's the healthiest and most flavorful thing in the restaurant.
 

Robbert

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WW has been through the highs and lows of life. Whoever needs advice on addiction, delinquency and things, she's there to help you.

Please contact WW via her blog: [email protected]