Dad
I never have had a good relationship with dad. I never have lived with him and most of my childhood he was nothing but a voice on the phone whom I would talk every other week for 20 minutes and see every two or three years.
Dad's a very complicated person to deal with. He likes things to be very specific and people be straightforward. Also, he can get stubborn at times and because I don't know how to be his son and he doesn't know how to be my father, our relationship can get very awkward. He doesn't know if he should be a patronizing guide or a lighthearted cool-older-brother-type of buddy and I honestly don't know how I prefer him. I would love if he was more involved in my life but also feels at time he doesn't have the right to criticize some bits of myself, like he has done in the past with my weight and my hygene.
So I was a bit worried about spending time with him in NYC, after all, this trip was first proposed by his parents, who feel somewhat guilty of his abstent in my life. Dad's a workaholic, so last time I spent with him time in Caracas, I left a day earlier because two thirds of the time he was working and the rest he was angry due to work-related frustrations.
Nonetheless, I was actually pleased to actually see him truly happy for the first time. He got secretely married last year with his best friend, a German documentary producer, and they are truly in love. She has helped him to be more calm, centered, relaxed and organized while he helps her to be more outgoing, spontaneous and warm. They so far have worked together in over five movies and documentaries and dad himself told me "If this is marriage, I welcome it with joy."
Also, I feel for the first time I understand him. He's a man of constant action, I'm one of analysis and instrospection. Our family has a sailing tradition of sorts, so he got himself a sailboat which we went around Long Island a couple of times and when I was there, helping him, I felt truly connected with him. I understood his solitude had become a tool for survival in a foreign nation which had been something hard to shake off, that his slight bitterness was due him accepting he no longer was a young man but now finally he has come in terms with maturity and has started, with some precautions, to embrace it. I felt his guilt and impotence regarding Venezuela, our nation, but now accepting with slight resignation that place, of the Eastern Seaboard of the US of A as home. I also felt his love and his pride knowing that this person, his son, who at age 14 would only bath once a week, eat a whole bag of Doritos before going to bed and wouldn't stop talking about Legend of Zelda is finally looking like something resembling a balanced independent person.
I never have had a good relationship with dad. I never have lived with him and most of my childhood he was nothing but a voice on the phone whom I would talk every other week for 20 minutes and see every two or three years.
Dad's a very complicated person to deal with. He likes things to be very specific and people be straightforward. Also, he can get stubborn at times and because I don't know how to be his son and he doesn't know how to be my father, our relationship can get very awkward. He doesn't know if he should be a patronizing guide or a lighthearted cool-older-brother-type of buddy and I honestly don't know how I prefer him. I would love if he was more involved in my life but also feels at time he doesn't have the right to criticize some bits of myself, like he has done in the past with my weight and my hygene.
So I was a bit worried about spending time with him in NYC, after all, this trip was first proposed by his parents, who feel somewhat guilty of his abstent in my life. Dad's a workaholic, so last time I spent with him time in Caracas, I left a day earlier because two thirds of the time he was working and the rest he was angry due to work-related frustrations.
Nonetheless, I was actually pleased to actually see him truly happy for the first time. He got secretely married last year with his best friend, a German documentary producer, and they are truly in love. She has helped him to be more calm, centered, relaxed and organized while he helps her to be more outgoing, spontaneous and warm. They so far have worked together in over five movies and documentaries and dad himself told me "If this is marriage, I welcome it with joy."
Also, I feel for the first time I understand him. He's a man of constant action, I'm one of analysis and instrospection. Our family has a sailing tradition of sorts, so he got himself a sailboat which we went around Long Island a couple of times and when I was there, helping him, I felt truly connected with him. I understood his solitude had become a tool for survival in a foreign nation which had been something hard to shake off, that his slight bitterness was due him accepting he no longer was a young man but now finally he has come in terms with maturity and has started, with some precautions, to embrace it. I felt his guilt and impotence regarding Venezuela, our nation, but now accepting with slight resignation that place, of the Eastern Seaboard of the US of A as home. I also felt his love and his pride knowing that this person, his son, who at age 14 would only bath once a week, eat a whole bag of Doritos before going to bed and wouldn't stop talking about Legend of Zelda is finally looking like something resembling a balanced independent person.
