Old Fart's and Pouffes Bar, Grill, and Hogewey Infirmary

Redbear1158 · Jul 25, 2014

No relations here that I know of, and back in the CB days there were enough red bears that I had to tack some numbers on.

And no, not really too worried about creds, but didn't want someone looking me up and then pointing out what little I've done (when you start at the bottom you can only go up -- unless someone tosses you a shovel!)

Not using a walker (yet) but find a golf umbrella makes a nice walking stick (and has the heft for beating off small dogs -- and when opened the size to hide from the bigger dogs! ;-) )

Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.

Flattery is like cologne -- to be smelled, but not swallowed. -- Josh Billings

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

[FONT=&quot]The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be. -- Lao Tsu[/FONT]

JoeBear · Jul 25, 2014

Haggis said:
Welcome, Red. ...
BTW, there's another bear who lives here--JoeBear. You two aren't related, are you?

Highly possible - my father got around.

Redbear1158 · Jul 25, 2014

JoeBear said:
Highly possible - my father got around.

Heh, not sure you'd want to claim to be related -- not the way me writes! :evil

People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." -- Albert Einstein

[FONT=&quot]Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.[/FONT]

Chase · Jul 25, 2014

, RedBear. Two bears may be hard to bear, but most here will

and

it.

I read in your outline: "Depends." Don't feel bad; most of us here at the infirmary wear 'em now and then.

You'll find Porter is our number one writing expert, but many think he's number two. :Shrug:

Redbear1158 · Jul 25, 2014

Chase said:
, RedBear. Two bears may be hard to bear, but most here will and it.

I read in your outline: "Depends." Don't feel bad; most of us here at the infirmary wear 'em now and then.

You'll find Porter is our number one writing expert, but many think he's number two.

Well, every time I've tried to make like a wit, I've been told I'm only getting halfway there ...

"... all the modern inconveniences ..." -- Mark Twain

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -- Mark Twain

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." --Mark Twain

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain

[FONT=&quot]"You cannot rely on your vision if your imagination is out of focus."[/FONT][FONT=&quot] - Mark Twain[/FONT]

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 25, 2014

Who I the mark guy? Is he coming to visit sometime or maybe knot. Cant fathom why you quote him so much.

Redbear1158 · Jul 25, 2014

PorterStarrByrd said:
Who I the mark guy? Is he coming to visit sometime or maybe knot. Cant fathom why you quote him so much.

Heh, maybe, as he'd fit right in.
Here's a couple more of his:

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. -- Mark Twain

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice. -- Mark Twain

[FONT=&quot]Mark Twain: "Figures don't lie, but liars figure."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. -- Mark Twain[/FONT]

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 25, 2014

Don't tell anybody (even though they won't remember it tomorrow) but I picked up my nom de plume, Porter Starr Byrd, as a nautical salute to him.

Redbear1158 · Jul 25, 2014

PorterStarrByrd said:
Don't tell anybody (even though they won't remember it tomorrow) but I picked up my nom de plume, Porter Starr Byrd, as a nautical salute to him.

Me not said a word. ;-)

Couple sites I visit have the old QotD, and I started saving them. It's funny how often one will fit whatever silliness is going on ...

[FONT=&quot]It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain[/FONT]

Haggis · Jul 25, 2014

I have a few favorite MT quotes meself:

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can."

"There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

Chumplet · Jul 25, 2014

Haven't been here for a while, but since my last appearance, I mowed the lawn while wearing a string of pearls. Take that, June Cleaver!

JoeBear · Jul 25, 2014

Redbear1158 said:
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." --Mark Twain

I always liked Carl Sagan's response to this one which, BTW, Samuel Clemens didn't originate - only quoted in his autobiography but attributed it to Benjamin Disraeli. Anyway, Sagan wrote that he felt sorry for people who bought into the sentiment while not realizing that it's not the statistics, it's the people who "interpret" them for their own purpose, which is the reason I prefer source data - I prefer to do the statistical analysis myself because

GailD · Jul 26, 2014

Good morning, house of old quotes.

Redbear.

Haggis said:
Fur is sexy on my species. On yours? Not so much.

There was a young pup from Ann Arbor
Who astutely avoided the barber.
Not a follicle he'd spare
Of his lily-white hair,
I guess the fleas may have found a safe harbor.

*waves to Chumplet*

Redbear1158 · Jul 26, 2014

Haggis said:
I have a few favorite MT quotes meself:

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can."

"There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

Sadly all true too ...

Mark Twain: "Figures don't lie, but liars figure."

[FONT=&quot]"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar." -- Mark Twain [/FONT]

JoeBear said:
I always liked Carl Sagan's response to this one which, BTW, Samuel Clemens didn't originate - only quoted in his autobiography but attributed it to Benjamin Disraeli. Anyway, Sagan wrote that he felt sorry for people who bought into the sentiment while not realizing that it's not the statistics, it's the people who "interpret" them for their own purpose, which is the reason I prefer source data - I prefer to do the statistical analysis myself because

[FONT=&quot]"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts...for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang[/FONT]

GailD said:
Good morning, house of old quotes.

Redbear.

There was a young pup from Ann Arbor
Who astutely avoided the barber.
Not a follicle he'd spare
Of his lily-white hair,
I guess the fleas may have found a safe harbor.

Yes, some furry critters in the universe I'm playing in, but most were there before I got there -- honest!

Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.

If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.

[FONT=&quot]If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. -- George Burns[/FONT]

Lavern08 · Jul 26, 2014

- Redbear

Your bedpan has been monogrammed and you'll find it in the middle of your bed...

(Hopefully, it will be empty - Unless Porter found his way to your ~~cell~~ room)

Chase · Jul 26, 2014

Chumplet said:
I mowed the lawn while wearing a string of pearls. Take that, June Cleaver!

Wearing high heels and a frilly apron, no doubt. Hi, Chumplet. :hi:

:

GailD said:
There was a young pup from Ann Arbor
Who astutely avoided the barber.
Not a follicle he'd spare
Of his lily-white hair,
I guess the fleas may have found a safe harbor.

Whoever picks 'em shouldn't look further than our own old folks for the next AW poet laureate. :e2writer:

Redbear1158 said:
If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. -- George Burns

George would know, as he joined the century club before passing. Another "centurion" we'll sorely miss is Bel Kaufman. She just passed at 103. Good teachers everywhere follow Up the Down Staircase as their manual.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/26/a...e-down-staircase-writer-dies-at-103.html?_r=0

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 26, 2014

speaking of beds ....

Haggis · Jul 26, 2014

GailD said:
There was a young pup from Ann Arbor
Who astutely avoided the barber.
Not a follicle he'd spare
Of his lily-white hair,
I guess the fleas may have found a safe harbor.

This touched me deeply, Gail

The tears were pouring down my snout.

Redbear1158 · Jul 26, 2014

[FONT=&quot]There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- J.S. Bach

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation. -- Oscar Wilde
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. -- Fred Allen

[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=&quot]"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect."
--Mark Twain, on [FONT=&quot]English as She Is Spoke[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][/FONT]

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 26, 2014

Cough -- Porter Starr Byrd

Haggis · Jul 26, 2014

I thought about becoming Namerank N. Cerealnumber, but then thought better of it.

JoeBear · Jul 26, 2014

Haggis said:
I thought about becoming Namerank N. Cerealnumber, but then thought better of it.

So, what did you become?

Haggis · Jul 26, 2014

JoeBear said:
So, what did you become?

A Michigander, but I don't like to talk about it.

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 26, 2014

There's a salve for that ... it's a extract of horse chestnut

JoeBear · Jul 26, 2014

PorterStarrByrd said:
There's a salve for that ... it's a extract of horse chestnut

Neigh, is there really?

Old Fart's and Pouffes Bar, Grill, and Hogewey Infirmary

Foolish finagler of Folly

Thick-skinned, but I shoot back.

Foolish finagler of Folly

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

Foolish finagler of Folly

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Foolish finagler of Folly

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Foolish finagler of Folly

Evil, undead Chihuahua

This hat is getting too hot

Thick-skinned, but I shoot back.

Still chasing plot bunnies.

Foolish finagler of Folly

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Foolish finagler of Folly

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Thick-skinned, but I shoot back.

Evil, undead Chihuahua

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Thick-skinned, but I shoot back.