Need Help Writing A Chase Scene

Chase scenes are challenging to me, because you want to convey the sense of "trying to get away" without spending forty pages writing "I ran. I ran some more. I ran and he was still running after me."

One really good chase scene springs to mind and it's in the opening paragraphs of the Eisenhorn Trilogy. If you're not a Warhammer fan, basically what the writer did was describe the environment Eisenhorn was running through as he chased his target.

Isn't there a scene like that in The Silver Branch?

The film Ronin has a brilliant chase scene - albeit in cars, so obviously not applicable to historical Rome, but it's worth watching anyway. If you're into games, Assassin's Creed 2 has a major free-running / chase mechanic and is set in (lovingly rendered) Renaissance Rome.

There are tricks you can use to lengthen a chase - near misses, slow stealthy bits where it seems like you've got away, pincer movements, etc. - but the problem is as NateSean points out: too much of it and it just seems like it's starting to become artificial.

Perhaps think of the chase scene as a book in miniature: it should have a beginning, a middle and an end, with a clear sense of progression between those points. That, and it's a great excuse to vary up the environments. Have your characters run through all the most interesting places in Rome. Even if the tension starts to flag, the reader will still have something fun to look at along the way...

But would the POV character NOTICE all those interesting points as he's running for his life?? Tho they could be noted in passing, as we duck through the lower gallery of the Amphitheatrum Flavium Colosseum and startle a couple of bored gladiators, or pelt across the open space of the Forum, feeling arrows coming at our back all the way.

Reziac said:

But would the POV character NOTICE all those interesting points as he's running for his life?? Tho they could be noted in passing, as we duck through the lower gallery of the Amphitheatrum Flavium Colosseum and startle a couple of bored gladiators, or pelt across the open space of the Forum, feeling arrows coming at our back all the way.

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Exactly - I'd say you're more likely to be looking where you're going when you're running, whereas in a normal day you wouldn't pay much attention to familiar surroundings.

When you're going hell for leather, suddenly things like the difference in texture between tiles and cobbles becomes very important...

onesecondglance said:

Exactly - I'd say you're more likely to be looking where you're going when you're running, whereas in a normal day you wouldn't pay much attention to familiar surroundings.

When you're going hell for leather, suddenly things like the difference in texture between tiles and cobbles becomes very important...

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I agree. And if in a familiar situation, the character might be thinking ahead of x street, near the church with the massive stained glass windows, that leads to a busy street where a person could blend in with a crowd. I know you mentioned Ancient Rome, but I couldn't think of a good example for the time period. While you might not think of the details on a regular day, you might pick them out, knowing that finding them could lead to an escape route. Also, the level of detail noticed might depend on the background of the character. Someone in law enforcement or with a military background might be tuned in to locations which could provide shelter versus someone like me, who'd know how to find the nearest coffee shop or Indian buffet.

As for other examples, I'm trying to think of a good movie with a particularly memorable foot chase. Blade Runner has a few, although they might resolve into fight scenes too quickly, I can't recall. Casino Royale has a fantastic one in the beginning.

I find using Google Street maps useful in nailing down details. For instance, drop your self on the street in NYC, and click down the side streets. Lots of activity going on that can help with your chase. Deliveries. Construction. Painters. Loiterers. Homeless digging through the trash. Tons of neat little things.

You could use any or all of the above suggestions to write your scene. Then go back and try to read it from the perspective of a reader who doesn't know the area.

I was beta reading a mystery, current day, set in Tucson AZ. It was a great chase scene. The MC was the chaser. It was action packed, exciting, and totally confusing. I knew the area. I knew the streets. I knew the landmarks. And I was lost. He trimmed it down a lot and it flowed much better. Unfortunately real life got in the way and the author stopped writing. I would have liked to see the book in print.

MM

Your parameters are so wide it's tough to offer advice. However, since you mention it takes place in ancient Rome, I would advise watching the HBO series "Rome" which takes place during Julius Caesar. Just starting re-watching it on Amazon Prime. Lots of chases, some by spies and such. Might help you out.

And a side moment: it's the best. most memorable depiction of Caesar for my money. That actor was absolutely brilliant and I was almost hoping they'd find a way to foil history and allow him to survive his assassination attempt.

Chase scenes are always difficult to write but especially in historical times. The obvious fact being that a Roman alley at night would be absolutely pitch black dark as would be the surrounding streets so a chase would involve falling flat on your face most probably.

I think you can do a fair amount of world-building in a chase scene, especially for a historical. If you phrase it terms of finding places to hide, you'll probably be able to describe quite a lot without giving off that "my character is running for his life, but ooh look pretty scenery" vibe.

Chase is simple. Wait! That came out wrong.

Anyway, here's the ASL sign for "chase." Let it be your guide.



1. Write the scene from the POV of the thumb being chased.

2. Then, write the scene from the POV of the chasing thumb.

I think darkness/moonlight would be your main restricting factor here. Plus whatever else was on the streets at that time of night, and what noise was being made by the chasing group and whether that would affect the surroundings.

Maybe folk tended to close up and remain indoors if there was a scuffle going on outside.

A very short burst of excitement - then silence, methinks. Good luck.

I've read a few pointers,

The tighter the setting/arena for the chase, the more tension it can maintain. It should be defined in some way.

The chase scene should be about the chase, not the characters.

My own thoughts, I haven't written any that I've gone back and polished, but these are general rules:

Write in terms of action, reaction, like always.
a 1. They see pursuer peek around some columns.
r 2. They run faster.
a 3. They almost run into a cart filled with hay.
r 4. Dump the hay and make a break for another alley.
a 5. One chased guy stops to breath.
r 6. The other man, having to wait for him, curses and says they have to move.
a 7. Another pursuer, maybe the same, maybe not, calls out for them to stop.
r 8. The tired man lumbers around the corner.
a 9. The not tired guy comes up to a low, open window.
r 10. They duck inside.
a 11. They hear the pursuer pass by.
r 12. They stay very still, eyes wide.
a 13. They hear the other guys, from the hay cart pass.
r 14. They go out the front door and double back around, off to their destination.

Just put yourself in ancient Rome and run around like you're chased for a while, jot down what comes to mind lol.

I would first think of how exactly they escape the pursuers. Are you looking for something highly original, or just something plausible? Either way, fix that as your goal, and get your characters there with a couple of near-misses on the way.

I like the suggestions others gave you of describing Rome scenery, but being night, you need to keep it credible. Maybe there are torches illuminating the emperor's palace, but not every street and plaza. What tends to draw me in is a sensory description: heavy breathing, sweat, night sounds, street smells, uneven pavement, maybe a flash memory of someone's face (that your character is afraid they'll never see again), or a curse when they realize they haven't lost their pursuers (if your character is on the cocky side). A chase is a great opportunity to draw in the reader, by putting them in your character's shoes.