The thread in which Haggis now talks to himself

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cray

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*strolls in. assumes there are people hiding in the shadows*

g'morning peeps.


*makes coffee*


*drinks beer while waiting for coffee*
 

cray

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*grabs mic*


ahem,...
ted’s been all over aw posting terrible non-family forum type of stuff.
well, that ain’t going to fly yanno so officer haggis finally catches up to him asked to see ted’s posting license.

ted dug through his purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "what does it look like?" he finally asked. supermod haggis replied, "it's square and it has your picture on it." ted finally found a mirror in his purse, looked at it and handed it to the super.

"here it is," he said. haggis looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "okay, you can go. i didn't realize you were a mod."
 

cray

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hmm.

tap tap
you can go. i didn't realize you were a mod."



ok then.


ahem. that didn't work.
:idea:
how's about some more cray talk with your host,.....cray!
click
 

cray

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hey, did you people hear about the new corduroy pillows?




they're making headlines.





:roll:

headlines.












:roll: :roll: :roll: stick that in your eye, national argyle day!
 

cray

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ahem....so yanno ted's van? the one with the huge aerial antennae on top? yeah, that's the one.....well ted came screaming around the corner in it and the van rolls and the antennae spikes haggis right through the side.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:


:thankyou:









:idea: oh yea,...theres' more! anyway the wound gets all infected and gross :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

sorry. and so haggis has to go to the hospital. :roll: the doc takes a look at him and says, "thats the worst case of van-aerial disease i've ever seen!"


*sips coffee*


*blink*


*sips coffee again*
 

cray

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haggis on his first visit to Boston to see regdgo. before that though he wants to try some of that delicious new england seafood that he'd long heard about.

so haggis gets into a cab, and asks the driver, "can you take me to where i can get scrod?"

the driver replies, "i've heard that question a thousand times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."




:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
:partyguy:
 

cray

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*sips coffee*



is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?






























:ROFL:
you saw what i just did there, right?

:roll:




POW!
 

cray

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*calls haggis*

*leaves message...
haggis, what's going on with this thread? these people are like zombies. can't get a peep out of them! give me a call back to discuss how we can liven up this thread because right now it feels dead. like your bingos.
 

cray

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Can I rant for a second?

Does anyone see any small glimmer of logic in this statement?
"By default, Microsoft Word does not print document backgrounds that you create by using the Background command on the Format menu."


it's totally logical if you read it with a football bat.
 

cray

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hey! where's silent roub?


roub,...roub,..check it....
what do you know about damascus?



it kills 99% of germs.





















:roull: :roull: :roull:


:thankyou:
 

cray

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Is it the swimsuit or evening gown competition?


A little advice, Roub: next time, shave your legs.


umm,..*scratches back of neck*
roub? *makes 'call me' sign* i have a lot of experience with this if you need any advice.
 

cray

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haggis, i scored a 33%

You are warm and empathic with a heightened awareness of social responsibility and a strong sense of conscience. You like to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of a situation before you act and are generally averse to taking risks. You are very much a ‘people person’ and dislike conflict. ‘Do unto others…’ are your watchwords. But, although you avoid hurting others, those residing at the higher end of the psychopathic spectrum might not be as considerate, so stay vigilant to avoid being hurt unnecessarily.
 

cray

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ahem

*tap tap*

a golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.
"boy, i'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.

just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"

thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says,
"sure," and sinks the putt.

two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "gee, i sure would like to get an eagle on this one."

the same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"

shrugging, the golfer replies, "okay." and he makes an eagle.

on the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.

without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"
"definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

as the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "i haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who i am.
i'm satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."

"nice to meet you, "unfazed the golfer replied, "i'm haggis."




satan’s face--------------àK
 

cray

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silent roub,


i know you'll like this one,...check it....

what did arnold schwarzenegger do after he retired?





he became an ex-terminator!









:roll: :roll: :roll:


*high five*
 

cray

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..I'm going back to work now, so you folks need to stop posting things that can be taken the wrong way and then humorously misconstrued.



...don't make me check back and post again...



so jaycinth, do you know how i picked my career?
so i was like totally driving down the street, when i was cut off by someone. i honked frantically, applied the brakes masterfully and dodged a sure accident.

at the next set of lights, i pulled up beside the perpetrators and it was a car with 4 people in it. consultants. yep. you heard me....4 consultants.

i gave them the finger, and they became hostile towards me. they called me a "bleeping bleepity bleep" and "a stupid bleep bleeper"
:Wha:

i told them to "learn how to drive" and " pay some bleeping attention". they scoffed at me, and began to drive ahead, only to be tboned by an on coming fire truck. i guess with our argument, the driver must not have heard the siren.

i reflected on my behavior and thought "sh*!, that coulda been me".
so the next day i went right out and became a fire fighter!
 

cray

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cripes haggis! where have you been!?


:idea: where's everyone else for that matter???
*sips coffee*


srsly, sometimes i feel like i'm the only one working here.
 

cray

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*BURSTS THROUGH DOOR*

TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


hey everyone!????

EVERYONE?

i'm here! and i'd really like a beer!
wait. :idea: is this a surprise party,...why are all the lights off!?




HELLO?
 
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