Teens Writing for Teens, issue 6

Thalia

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I like everything except the first sentence. Generally, I find when you do a 'this is my story' intro, it has to be a few paragraphs long and very voice-y. Kinda like Percy Jackson!

If we're snippet-ing, here's a bit of Sherlockettes. No one has heard from Julia since Lauren's near-death, and Veronika's decided she's a suspect, so Soph and Véro went up to investigate.

Julia’s housekeeper had no idea who they were, and they were about to be asked to leave when Julia’s mother entered the room, her cell phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear, and a huge file of papers in her hand.

“Well, I appreciate your flexibility,” she said, “but my client and I would really prefer to rent it for three months—“ She looked over at the girls. “Veronika! Hi, sweetheart, just a sec.” Speaking into the phone again, she said, “Well, I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid that unless we have no other offers, you’ll have to find another place. Yes. Yes, I’m sorry. I have to get going now—yes, I will let you know. Okay. Bye-bye.” She put her folder on a small, wooden table, and turned off her phone, sighing. Then she turned toward Veronika.

“It’s so good to see you, Veronika!” she exclaimed. “And—I’m sorry,” she said, addressing Sophie, “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Bergstein,” said the small girl. “I’m Sophie. I’m new this year.”

“Call me Stacey, sweetheart,” said Julia’s mother. She leaned in, kissing the air behind both of Sophie’s cheeks, and stepped back. She looked at Veronika again. “So, why did you stop by, Veronika?”

Veronika’s eyes shifted toward Sophie, who took that as a signal to do the talking. “Well—since Julia wasn’t at school today, we wanted to stop by and see how she was doing,” she said.

“And we brought over the homework so she doesn’t fall behind,” added Veronika.

At the word ‘homework’, Stacey beamed. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you girls,” she said. “I have to get back to dealing with a difficult client, but Julia’s upstairs in her room, so go on yourselves. Lovely to meet you, Sophie. I’m so glad my daughter has such thoughtful friends.”

She grabbed her folder and phone, and walked off into the next room. Sophie watched her go, then leaned up and whispered into Veronika’s ear, “are we Julia’s friends?”

Veronika frowned. “Well of course, she’s in our class.”

Is that all friendship is? Sophie wondered as they walked up the stairs. The question faded from her mind the second Veronika pushed open the door.

Julia was sitting on the far corner of her bed, knees pulled up under her chin, quivering like a leaf. Her face was pale, but not puffy, and her eyes were dry but very wide.

Veronika raised an eyebrow. “I see you’re coping well.”

Kind of very rough, but continues with one of the major themes of the book: What is friendship? What does it mean? How to you label it, or measure it?
 

lisalulu09

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It's really good!

Yay! You like my snippet. I was worried it was rubbish.
 

Thalia

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You're not a bad writer, Lisa, you just convince yourself you are. And change WIPs a lot, so you rarely finish things, which further convinces you of that. Your actual writing is pretty good.
 

Taylor_Writes

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I love phones with internet.

I wish I had something to post here. But, I don't. But I have an idea I can't wait to start writing. I just need to kind of... Do some plotting.
 

lisalulu09

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You're not a bad writer, Lisa, you just convince yourself you are. And change WIPs a lot, so you rarely finish things, which further convinces you of that. Your actual writing is pretty good.

I feel good now. :D
 

Taylor_Writes

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Just the notes thingy that comes on the iPhone.

But I guess I'll look for one. I had a good one on my iPod, but I accidentally deleted it and now I forget what it was...
 

lisalulu09

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I was going to do coursework, but I'm tired of coursework this week and I'm slightly worried about what I opened and looked at.

SO WRITING AND TV REIGNS.
 

Zoombie

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Good news everyone!

I've long worried that a Chinese person will read Debris Dreams and scoff and go, "Pishaw! This bicultural book is heavily biased towards American values and ideas! This has almost nothing but superficial trappings of Chinese culture in it."

And then throw it out the window.

But, I actually have sociological evidence that backs up by assertion that my spacer culture will have predominantly American cultural artifacts...in fact, I have evidence that says it'll be even more specific: Predominantly OHIOAN, because the primary recruiting stock for American astronauts was and (I believe) still is Ohio.

And the first settlers of any region, even after they've been nearly completely replaced by new settlers (such as what happened when the 13 colonies replaced the early Puritan ones), IMPRINT their CULTURAL VALUES into the land.

Thus, we're still a largely puritan nation, despite puritans being as relevant today as Cathars were in 1709: I.E, not very.

So, because space was first explored and even "settled" by Americans (And predominantly, people from Ohio), it retains those values even as a huge wave of Chinese immigrants are taken into the culture. They change said culture, but do not replace it's values or ideals.

Thus, MY ASS IS COVERED!

*laughs maniacally*
 

Zoombie

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Basically, the first people who settle an area have their culture stick around, long after more people arrive - unless, of course, that culture is eradicated through concentrated genocide...but, fortunately, space has no indigenous people to exterminate en masse, so I don't need to go into that kind of messiness.
 

lisalulu09

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Ohhh.

ETA: What's better: Carlos' or Carlos's.
 
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Thalia

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Everyone in Sherlockettes has their own Starbucks order...

Sophie: Summer = Strawberries & Cream Frappuccino. Winter = White Hot Chocolate

Veronika: Summer = Iced Skinny Mocha. Winter = Skinny Caramel Macchiato

Dani: Ice Caps. All the fucking time. Ice Caps. Prefers Tim Hortons.

Rachel: Tazo Chai Tea Latte, Iced or Hot depending on seasons.

Nikki: Vanilla Latte.

Samantha: Summer = Strawberries & Cream Frappuccino. Winter = White Hot Chocolate or Peppermint Hot Chocolate.

Yeah... these girls like their Starbucks... EXCEPT DANIELLE WHO IS A TRUE CANADIAN AND GOES TO TIM HORTONS. But there aren't any near her house.
 

lisalulu09

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I haven't got that far yet.

WILL/CARLOS = FAVOURITE FRIENDSHIP I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I'm only on... scene 3 of Chapter one (which will probably involve bullying and/or possible domestic violence) BUT I KNOW THIS ALREADY.
 

lisalulu09

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Yeah. I pick stuff up eventually! Cause they tell me random stuff!

Carlos LOVES Shakespeare. If I could find loads of quotes that he can spout at appropriate times easily (like earlier in this scene), I will be happy.
 

Taylor_Writes

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Yeah... these girls like their Starbucks... EXCEPT DANIELLE WHO IS A TRUE CANADIAN AND GOES TO TIM HORTONS. But there aren't any near her house.

GO TIM HORTONS.

I rather Tim Hortons. But I like the Starbucks shops...

Though, I don't drink coffee. I drink hot chocolate. And Tim Hortons has the better hot chocolate. Starbucks is too... Chocolatey.

Gosh, I'm such a youngster.
 

lisalulu09

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I love hot chocolate.

So... RICK RIORDAN SHARES MY BIRTHDAY. THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. :D
 

Thalia

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I drink Peppermint Hot Chocolate at Starbucks in December. Yummier than anything at Timmy's. But yes, Timmy's does regular hot chocolate best.

The rest of the year, I like my Tazo Chai Tea Latte. It tastes like a melted ginger molasses cookie.
 

lisalulu09

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Guys, I want your opinions on domestic violence in YA. Honest opinions. I'm a bit wary, but I think it might add a good extra layer to Invincible's plot...
 

Taylor_Writes

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No one special is born on mine... A few models, which makes me kind of... Meehh.
 

Thalia

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Hmm...

If it's just because you think it'll be 'edgy' or 'current', don't do it. You don't have to tell me why you want it, but be honest with yourself.

If you think it's part of your story, something that needs to be told, something that matters to you, well...
 

lisalulu09

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Hmm...

If it's just because you think it'll be 'edgy' or 'current', don't do it. You don't have to tell me why you want it, but be honest with yourself.

If you think it's part of your story, something that needs to be told, something that matters to you, well...

I think I might need to think about this.