FAQ: Flouncing Properly via a Brave Exit Speech Template

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Chase

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Who let this Wilde person zombify this thread dead and buried over a year?

Shakeysix kilt it thinking 66½ is triple dijits:

let me remind you all that my i.q. is in the triple dijits

I'm thinking heads will flounce for this. There's never a mod when you need one.
 

Deleted member 42

I keep thinking I should lock it, but you inventive writer types come up with new suggestions about truly effective flouncing.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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Who let this Wilde person zombify this thread dead and buried over a year?

Well it was still on the first page if I remember correctly :D

Ironic that I'm writing about zombies right now... Also, I frequent another forum that has been notorious for flouncers lately. Only the 'new thing' for flouncing is to request to be banned apparently.

And whilst I don't flounce I am rather foppish ;)
 

buz

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I keep thinking I should lock it, but you inventive writer types come up with new suggestions about truly effective flouncing.

Sometimes I think, I ever felt the need to leave permanently, that I could produce Teh Best Flounce in the Univars, and it would be so freaking majestic that the entire internet would throw up.

...Sigh. Only in my dreams, I suppose.

I think it would involve the phrase "you all can quaff my butt-juice" ...but that would be only a sprinkle on the cake of wondrous flounce.
 
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shakeysix

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I hope you all have enjoyed picking apart my latset SYW post. I guess the idea of a tough Vampire/ Human Hybrid detective partnered with a fun loving Minority snitch is WAAAY over your heads. Mya Koolpa for thinking there was SOME intelligence on AW!
I am so sick and tired of trying to relate to you mental pygmies that I am giving up. The sad fact is that I am so freaking brillyant that I even confuse myself from time to time! You piss ants will never, on your best day, comprehend my most obtuse point so scerw you all!!!!!!
 

MaryMumsy

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Back when I had been here about six months I started a list of all the necessary elements for an over-the-top flounce.

Then I was afraid someone would take it seriously, and ban me (Mac and Lisa: looking at you). So I tossed the list.

MM
 

Deleted member 42

Back when I had been here about six months I started a list of all the necessary elements for an over-the-top flounce.

Then I was afraid someone would take it seriously, and ban me (Mac and Lisa: looking at you). So I tossed the list.

MM

GET IT BACK.

Post that sucker, STAT.

Generally speaking, unless you're a spammer, or someone who, like the dog returning to vomit, gets banned for being obnoxious and keeps coming back as various sock puppet accounts, we don't ban immediately.

There's usually contact behind the scenes via a Rep comments and/or PMs.

There's often a temporary ban first.

Most people are warned and have committed multiple idiocies before they're banned.
 

Deleted member 42

I hope you all have enjoyed picking apart my latset SYW post. I guess the idea of a tough Vampire/ Human Hybrid detective partnered with a fun loving Minority snitch is WAAAY over your heads. Mya Koolpa for thinking there was SOME intelligence on AW!

Meh, a little too witty.

Though we do frequently get accused of both being "PC" and "anti-X minority" often on the same day.

I've considered creating a flounce drinking game but I fear it would be hazardous . . .
 

Wilde_at_heart

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I hope you all have enjoyed picking apart my latset SYW post. I guess the idea of a tough Vampire/ Human Hybrid detective partnered with a fun loving Minority snitch is WAAAY over your heads. Mya Koolpa for thinking there was SOME intelligence on AW!
I am so sick and tired of trying to relate to you mental pygmies that I am giving up. The sad fact is that I am so freaking brillyant that I even confuse myself from time to time! You piss ants will never, on your best day, comprehend my most obtuse point so scerw you all!!!!!!

I share your pain...
 

Maryn

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Meh, a little too witty.

Though we do frequently get accused of both being "PC" and "anti-X minority" often on the same day.
Like my mother-in-law's mail, which contained requests for money from Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern on the same day? We sent them one another's enclosures.

I've considered creating a flounce drinking game but I fear it would be hazardous . . .
Only to those who don't know their limits.

Maryn, who has a general idea of hers
 

Mr Flibble

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I hope you all have enjoyed picking apart my latset SYW post. I guess the idea of a tough Vampire/ Human Hybrid detective partnered with a fun loving Minority snitch is WAAAY over your heads. Mya Koolpa for thinking there was SOME intelligence on AW!
I am so sick and tired of trying to relate to you mental pygmies that I am giving up. The sad fact is that I am so freaking brillyant that I even confuse myself from time to time! You piss ants will never, on your best day, comprehend my most obtuse point so scerw you all!!!!!!

Oh you aren't even trying! 3/10

Where is the swearing at the mods? Where is the railing at the stupidity of the members, or at the jackboot and/or gooey softness of the mods? Where is the EGO,fer wassisname's sake? Where is your 'I'm taking my ball home' 'Gods damn it I OWN THE INTERNET!!' entitlement?

Hmm?



Tsk tsk.

E for effort, must try harder

:D
 

Rockweaver

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You know, with all the flouncing, pouting, foot stomping and tantrum throwing we see here at AW, I thought I'd do something helpful for a change and offer those of you who are about to quit AW a hand. Rather than having to come up with your own Brave Exit Speech, feel free to choose one of these handy-dandy pre-made templates to suit your purpose. Simply Cut'n'Paste the one that's right for you!

1. You're All Mean!
I can't believe you guys are such poo heads! Quit picking on me! That's it, I'm never coming back! I hate you!

2. I'm Far Too Good To Post Here
Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm a way better writer than any of you will EVER be, so I'm not wasting any more time here. Losers.

3. Negativity Makes Baby Kittens Cry
I can't be around you people any more. Every time I log on, which is about forty-seven times each day, I see people spreading hurtful and unkind things. Why can't we all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya? We're supposed to support other writers, not be negative. I'm so depressed, I'm leaving now.

4. No One Likes My Writing, So I'm Outta Here
I posted a 47,000 word extract on SYW in a 8-point font, and not a single damn one of you has had anything to say, except for one guy who said he'd read it later and never did even though that was yesterday and he shoulda had time to look at it by now, and since you all SAY to share your work but then you never read what people post so I think you're all a bunch of poser a$$hole wannabes! Nyah!!

5. The Lurkers Love Me In Email
Look, I posted my opinions in that one thread in TIO, and you're all being so freakin' CRITICAL, but I've gotten a bunch of emails from people who tell me I'm the one who's right. Can I help it if this is like high school and there's a bunch of cliques where the popular people stick up for each other? Huh? Huh?

6. Logical Fallacies
You're all a bunch of Nazis.

7. It's Haskins' Fault
william haskins is mean to me and the moderators let him say bad things and he doesn't even use capital letters and how come no one ever bans the mean people?!?!?!?!?

8. Expletives and Spelling Errors Abound
[deleted]

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the good folks at Patti's House of Grand Indifference.

Please feel free to add your own Brave Exit Speech template, as a way of saying "I care!"


I must admit that you have done a wonderful job of collecting so many of the common reasons.

the only one i see that you missed are this group
1. my mom wont let me talk to you any more she thinks you are all bullies.
2. as i am now heading to prison it will no longer be possible for me to complain of the injustices of the system here.
3. My (sig other) told me it was them or you and as we have never had sex i am sticking with them until such time as they no longer want to have sex then i may return if you are worthy of my time.
4. the number of typos in my complaint is so high that i am not able to get the spell checker to work any longer so i will just rage quit for no reason and make it all your fault after all i never have done anything to deserve this. you are all soooo mean.

:) ps i am not leaving :)
 

Deleted member 42

Oh you aren't even trying! 3/10

Where is the swearing at the mods? Where is the railing at the stupidity of the members, or at the jackboot and/or gooey softness of the mods? Where is the EGO,fer wassisname's sake? Where is your 'I'm taking my ball home' 'Gods damn it I OWN THE INTERNET!!' entitlement?

Now those are excellent suggestions; thank you!
 

christwriter

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Ahem.

*knuckle cracks*

You TOTALLY missed the point of that passage. My MOTHER read that passage and loved it. My sister's cousin's nephew's wife's cousin's foster-child's birthmother's GRANDFATHER is a REAL PROFESSIONAL WRITER who had TWO ARTICLES published by an AP affiliate on their BLOG, and I studied every single word of what they wrote about pig intestinal paracites AND SO I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU. Who are you people, anyway? All you do is publish vampire fiction and sparkly Harry Potter ripoffs. I have FOURTEEN GOOD REVIEWS ON FANFICTION.NET. I HAVE STREET CRED. I TALKED TO MY LONG DISTANCE INTERNET BOYFRIEND AND HE TOLD ME TO IGNORE YOU.

So I am. Totally. F*** you. F*** all of you. F*** you with a ******* sparkle vampire *****, you ***** **** and *******, eat my ******* jalapino ***** with a serving of glitter. I hope you all ***** ***** ****** and die.

****************8******88*****!!1!1!!!!one one one one ONE!!!1!

I AM PUBLISHING MY NEW THREE THOUSAND PAGE BOOK OF GOTHIC ANTEATER POETRY WITH A REAL LIFE PUBLISHER. THEY SAID THEY WOULD GIVE ME A ONE DOLLAR ADVANCE AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING SO F*** YOU AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.

I AM LEAVING TEH INTERNETS FOREVAR!!!!111on1! GOODBYE!
 

Rockweaver

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bows to the greatness that is Christwriter... bravo.. bravo... you deserve an gold star for that fine bit of temper tantrim demonstration. damn you must spend time chatting with my daughters :)
 

Wilde_at_heart

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Ahem.

*knuckle cracks*

You TOTALLY missed the point of that passage. My MOTHER read that passage and loved it. My sister's cousin's nephew's wife's cousin's foster-child's birthmother's GRANDFATHER is a REAL PROFESSIONAL WRITER who had TWO ARTICLES published by an AP affiliate on their BLOG, and I studied every single word of what they wrote about pig intestinal paracites AND SO I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU. Who are you people, anyway? All you do is publish vampire fiction and sparkly Harry Potter ripoffs. I have FOURTEEN GOOD REVIEWS ON FANFICTION.NET. I HAVE STREET CRED. I TALKED TO MY LONG DISTANCE INTERNET BOYFRIEND AND HE TOLD ME TO IGNORE YOU.

So I am. Totally. F*** you. F*** all of you. F*** you with a ******* sparkle vampire *****, you ***** **** and *******, eat my ******* jalapino ***** with a serving of glitter. I hope you all ***** ***** ****** and die.

****************8******88*****!!1!1!!!!one one one one ONE!!!1!

I AM PUBLISHING MY NEW THREE THOUSAND PAGE BOOK OF GOTHIC ANTEATER POETRY WITH A REAL LIFE PUBLISHER. THEY SAID THEY WOULD GIVE ME A ONE DOLLAR ADVANCE AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING SO F*** YOU AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.

I AM LEAVING TEH INTERNETS FOREVAR!!!!111on1! GOODBYE!

*slow clap*

Bravo. It's never serious until it's allcaps serious...

Though personally I would have gone on more about the ignorance of every other poster on the board and berated them teenagers or frustrated housewives depending on the age of the flouncer :D .
 
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