Well, what I mean is...um... (bear with me, I'm not great at articulating this and sort of thinking as I go...)
I have English and Irish ancestry. I can say with absolute sincerity that Irish folk songs were a part of my upbringing because that is the truth. But that is the only connection I have to any heritage whatsoever, and I wonder if even that is appropriation, because it's not like my dad (who sang these songs to me) grew up in Ireland. If I go to Ireland and say I'm Irish, they'll kind of snort at that, because I'm clearly not, you know?
I haven't experienced the things that make up the Irish identity; I can't call myself Irish. My English ancestors came here so long ago there is no real connection there, either.
I am American--but I don't really identify with the culture of a certain locale, cuz I grew up in one of those odd in-between areas, suburbs, with strictly standard news broadcaster American accent, and so on and so forth. I wasn't brought up with religion, so that part of culture doesn't exist for me, either. What remains is...I don't know. Pop music? Cartoons? The Pledge of Allegiance? Saying "how are you" immediately after "hi"? Stuff that doesn't mean much of anything to me. So, in my view, I do not have a culture that I am a part of, that I genuinely identify with. So what's left...trying to rely on my own internal life, is what I've come up with.
Which comes from where...?
I study other cultures as well as cultures from my own heritage; I find inspiring ideas and beautiful art and great writing therein.
They have shaped parts of my personality, helped me solidify concepts that tinged my view of the world, maybe even formed those views. It would be accurate to say that other cultures have been incorporated into my own...personal...culture--um, does that make any sense? Not by design...simply by studying Egyptian art or Assyrian religion or Buddhist concepts or Greek philosophers or whatever, as I do because I'm curious. I don't know if that's appropriation, and now I'm starting to question, but it's happened nevertheless...I've found greater meaning in cultures that I have no ownership in than my own, I think.
But, since I have no ownership in any culture but modern America, which I find no meaning in, does that mean I've appropriated everything that means anything to me?
So, anyway, what the hell am I saying. I'm not sure what I'm saying, lol. I think I was going somewhere at the beginning of this but I have no idea. Just stating thoughts as they come.
(considers that username is in Chinese when I'm not Chinese)
Uh. Fuck.