How do you write, a thought?

Trish · May 14, 2008

Could someone tell me which is the best way to write a thought? I think this is wrong, but I'me not sure how to write it correctly. Thank you.

Here is my example:

She bent down to pick it up. "It's too big," she thought.

Little Red Barn · May 14, 2008

Trish said:
Could someone tell me which is the best way to write a thought? I think this is wrong, but I'me not sure how to write it correctly. Thank you.

Here is my example:

She bent down to pick it up. "It's too big," she thought.

She bent down to pick it up. Oh, it's too big, she thought.

Little Red Barn · May 14, 2008

Could have her mumble also or whine if it's my, Godchild Molly.

"It's TOO big!" She winced
"Oh, it's too big." She mumbled. She grumbled.

Trish · May 14, 2008

Thanks Kimmi. Yes it is your godchild Molly. Who else. She won't let me write about anyone else. heheh. She's just made me post another one of her bloomin stories. I haven't finished the last one yet. I said to her, "Molly! I'm over you, p..s off" She said, "Bite me!" LOL

HeronW · May 14, 2008

In novels, thoughts are done in italics, ex:

She picked up the rock. It's too big. She put it down so as not to drop it on her foot and picked up a smaller one.

When submitting to a pub, format is set up with underline before and after: She picked up the rock. _It's too big._ She put it down so as not to drop it on her foot and picked up a smaller one.

If you're indicating bold, use asterisks before and after, ex: *KEEP OUT* The sign said.

Trish · May 14, 2008

Oh, thank you, HeronW. I thought that it had to do with underlining somehow. That's great. Do you use the asterisks all the time or just to a pub format?

Little Red Barn · May 14, 2008

HeronW said:
In novels, thoughts are done in italics, ex:

She picked up the rock. It's too big. She put it down so as not to drop it on her foot and picked up a smaller one.

When submitting to a pub, format is set up with underline before and after: She picked up the rock. _It's too big._ She put it down so as not to drop it on her foot and picked up a smaller one.

If you're indicating bold, use asterisks before and after, ex: *KEEP OUT* The sign said.

Ohh, I'm not sure on this as my thoughts had to be underlined UNLESS, I said, I thought, at end and so my ms is being submitted as such and was edited by agent.

Oh, it's too big! She moaned.

Oh, it's too big!

hugs and it's always great to hear about Molly!

ETA: First I've heard of * * Again, my ms has this -->and was confirmed, edited by agent : I WANT A COOKIE!

ps. could be different for children's writing though.

Angela_785 · May 14, 2008

kimmi said:
Ohh, I'm not sure on this as my thoughts had to be underlined UNLESS, I said, I thought, at end and so my ms is being submitted as such and was edited by agent.

I've also submitted italics as underlined in my agented subs(this is for a children's chapter book series). I believe that is the standard.

I have heard of the _It won't fit._ as italics, but I thought it was in relation to screenplays. Not sure where I heard it tho--just one of those little random factoids I retained somewhere.

Trish · May 15, 2008

Thanks, Angela. Does that mean when you submit your work, that you underline thoughts, as well as using, italics or just one of them, (unless you say, I thought.)

Sorry, I'm a bit thick sometimes.

Little Red Barn · May 15, 2008

Trish said:
Thanks, Angela. Does that mean when you submit your work, that you underline thoughts, as well as using, italics or just one of them, (unless you say, I thought.)

Sorry, I'm a bit thick sometimes.

No italics on thoughts, Trish. Underline thoughts only, unless you are saying, I thought at end.

I'm off to find you a format for ms writing--be back shortly.

Little Red Barn · May 15, 2008

Here is but one of many, Trish. And they talk about underlining italics.

http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/dec98/shunn.htm

And another here:

http://www.charlottedillon.com/ManuscriptPreparation.html

Underline thoughts only. Do not underline when you are sayn' for example: Oh, it's too big! She thought. Just do as I've done with your sentence here, ok?

and here: It's too big.
hugs

Trish · May 15, 2008

Thanks, Kimmi, That explains it to thick old me. Now I get it. I'll check those links out too. That's great.

Your, god daughter's been nagging for a pet, now she's got one, A rat. Heheheh LOL.

Little Red Barn · May 15, 2008

Trish said:
Thanks, Kimmi, That explains it to thick old me. Now I get it. I'll check those links out too. That's great.

Your, god daughter's been nagging for a pet, now she's got one, A rat. Heheheh LOL.

Glad we can help. No question is too small or too big, and someone is always available for you.

A RAT!

Eek! She thought.

Trish · May 15, 2008

Those links are great Kimmi. I'll be there forever reading and learning. Thanks, a lot. You're always so helpful.

Molly love rats. She loves everything that moves, If it has eyes. She loves, eyes. Heheh.

Exir · May 15, 2008

I don't really like thoughts described like dialogue. It seems clunky and unrealistic to me. NOBODY ever thinks as if s/he was talking to him/herself. People usually think in a more hazy, cloudy way (if you know what I mean.)

If I want to show thoughts, I usually blend them into the narrative.

NOT

He saw a stone in front of him. Oh, it's too big! he thought.

BUT

He saw a stone in front of him. It was certainly too big for him to carry.

Even when I want to write direct thought, I still blend them into the narrative. Personal preference, I guess.

EXAMPLE:

He saw a stone in front of him. It is too big, he thought.

Little Red Barn · May 15, 2008

Trish said:
Those links are great Kimmi. I'll be there forever reading and learning. Thanks, a lot. You're always so helpful.

Molly love rats. She loves everything that moves, If it has eyes. She loves, eyes. Heheh.

Gonna have to name that rat now, ya know?

Little Red Barn · May 15, 2008

Exir said:
I don't really like thoughts described like dialogue. It seems clunky and unrealistic to me. NOBODY ever thinks as if s/he was talking to him/herself. People usually think in a more hazy, cloudy way (if you know what I mean.)

If I want to show thoughts, I usually blend them into the narrative.

NOT

He saw a stone in front of him. Oh, it's too big! he thought.

BUT

He saw a stone in front of him. It was certainly too big for him to carry.

Even when I want to write direct thought, I still blend them into the narrative. Personal preference, I guess.

EXAMPLE:

He saw a stone in front of him. It is too big, he thought.

Good ideas for you, Trish!

Angela_785 · May 15, 2008

Trish said:
Thanks, Angela. Does that mean when you submit your work, that you underline thoughts, as well as using, italics or just one of them, (unless you say, I thought.)

Sorry, I'm a bit thick sometimes.

First, it's important to point out that some people use italics for thoughts in a story, others do not. It depends on the narrative distance you're going for. If the distance is quite close (the narrative and inner thoughts/dialogue almost become one with no real way to discern where narrative ends and internal thought begins), then you likely wouldn't italicize at all. However, if your narrative distance is further apart from your character and his or her internal thoughts/dialogue, you may wish to use italics. This is only if you are not using a thought tag (he thought, he wondered, etc).

So, if it is: I hope the teacher doesn't ask me, I thought.

then no italics in your story.

If it is: I hope the teacher doesn't ask me.

and there's a definite line between narrative and thought, you'd use italics (IMO.)

So in a submission format, you'd underline I hope the teacher doesn't ask me to show it as italics. There is no need to use both italics and underline in submission format to 'show' that something should be in italics.

This is how I have sent my MS, and there has been no concerns over the format from my agent or the editors viewing my work. I hope this helps!

Trish · May 15, 2008

That explains it clearly Angela, thank you. I will copy that information and store it.

Exir, I really like that. I have just been working on that in my story tonight. That helps too. Thank you.

Kimmi. All Molly's animals have names. Including all he mice, rats, and the other animals that she collects. She even names the birds. The first one is "Furble."

MsJudy · May 15, 2008

Exir said:
I don't really like thoughts described like dialogue. It seems clunky and unrealistic to me. NOBODY ever thinks as if s/he was talking to him/herself. People usually think in a more hazy, cloudy way (if you know what I mean.)

If I want to show thoughts, I usually blend them into the narrative.

NOT

He saw a stone in front of him. Oh, it's too big! he thought.

BUT

He saw a stone in front of him. It was certainly too big for him to carry.

Even when I want to write direct thought, I still blend them into the narrative. Personal preference, I guess.

EXAMPLE:

He saw a stone in front of him. It is too big, he thought.

rules are different for chapter books, though. A proficient reader can figure out who is thinking. A beginner can't. It's the same discussion as the one we had about using "said."

Read the Magic Treehouse series. Good heavens, no adult would ever want to read prose written that way. But for a six-year-old, it makes perfect sense. He said, she said. He thought, she thought. He read, he wrote. Nothing is left to the reader to figure out--because the reader probably wouldn't.

Trish, these are the kinds of things you really need to make decisions about for Molly. How you handle little things like dialogue tags will change the readability of your story. Once you decide how you want to handle it, be really consistent.

Trish · May 15, 2008

Thank you, Judy. I should just follow the same as those chapter books that you've recommended. I'm inclined to listen to everybody and end up doing too many re writes. Every one has a point, but, yes these are for young children. I wish I had read this post before I posted my new chapter, number two. Boo-hoo. I just took out all my tags.

Now I'll bang my thick head on a brick wall. I can see another, re write coming on. At this rate I'll never get to "queery hell" I'll stay in "re write hell" heheh LOL.

Thanks, again Judy.

MsJudy · May 16, 2008

Trish said:
Now I'll bang my thick head on a brick wall. I can see another, re write coming on. At this rate I'll never get to "queery hell" I'll stay in "re write hell" heheh LOL.

Thanks, again Judy.

Take your time. You're having so much fun with Molly, what's the hurry?

Trish · May 17, 2008

Yes, Judy. I am having so much fun with Molly. He-he. I don't know where she bloomin came from, but she drives me up the wall.

I hope I'll get there in the end. That is if, my husband doesn't divorce me for spending all my time on the computer. He runs away from me when I try to tell him a new idea of Molly's. Ha-ha. I read my stories out loud to my Mom on the phone every night. She tells me if something sounds wrong. It's amazing how many mistakes you can pick up by reading aloud. Thanks for that tip. And thanks for the help Judy.

MsJudy · May 17, 2008

kimmi said:
Here is but one of many, Trish. And they talk about underlining italics.

http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/dec98/shunn.htm

And another here:

http://www.charlottedillon.com/ManuscriptPreparation.html

Thanks for the links! I hadn't known about underlining italics--and I've used them a lot in my current WIP...

Anybody know of a good site about formatting e-subs? The agent I plan to approach first asks for e-query with 10 pages included, and the formatting gets whacked when you cut and paste a Word doc into an e-mail. I'd hate to do something wrong...

How do you write, a thought?

Trish

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Trish

HeronW

Down Under Fan

Trish

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Angela_785

Trish

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Trish

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Trish

Exir

Out of the cradle endlessly rocking

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Little Red Barn

haz own threads

Angela_785

Trish

MsJudy

Trish

MsJudy

Trish

MsJudy