Purgatory's Pit of Doom

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 06:25 PM

I thought I'd start a thread for those of us who have sunk below Purgatory. Those who are not waiting to sub, and don't have 3 or more fulls out there. For us groupies whose Rockstar agents have left us out in the cold without a second glance, while we hang on...by a thread. The flames of the Pit are burning our soles and our souls as we try to hold on to a glimmer of hope.

SteveCordero · 02-12-2009, 06:32 PM

In other words, we're in a place where we look up and say:

"Those guys in Purgatory up there really have it good."

EDITED TO ADD (9/2/11):

THE PIT LEXICON

PURGATORY’S PIT OF DOOM

Discovered by Branwyn in February 2009, Purgatory’s Pit of Doom (“The Pit”) is the Realm of Wallowing, the Dungeon of Purgatory. As Branwyn has said, “The flames of the Pit burn the soles and the souls of The Pit’s residents (“Pitizens”) as they try to hold on to a glimmer of Hope," symbolized by the Gutter Fly.

It is the place to vent, rant, and cry about everything, even while being catty, green-eyed or otherwise, but without being mean-spirited. A Pitizen will not criticize you for it, but someone from the sunshiny outside world above might. So be warned!!!

THE PANTHEON

Doom, Despair, and Hope are three immortal siblings. Doom and Despair are twin brothers who hate their sister Hope, who is a haughty bitch that thinks every cloud has a silver lining and every frown should be turned upside down. She is the ruling Queen of Purgatory. Her older brother Doom is the ruling King of The Pit and his brother Despair is the Hand of the King. Doom and Despair are in an eternal struggle with Hope for supremacy of the hearts and minds of writers everywhere.

GUTTER FLY

The symbol of Hope. The Gutter Fly appears like a Butterfly to Pitizens beguiled by Hope while in The Pit. Unfortunately, this leads a Pitizen to chase after the Gutter Fly and fall off a cliff.

MAGGOTS

The Pit’s only indigenous population. They blanket the floor of The Pit and are edible. Consumption in drink, liquid, powder, or tobacco-like form is quite soothing, by Pit standards. They can be made into Maggotinis (Pitizens’ drink of choice) and Maggoccinos, the Pitizen's choice of breakfast beverage. When times are particularly rough, they can be clumped into the tobacco-like form for the Maggot Bong, into powder form as Maggotcaine or purer form, Maggotcrack, or taken intravenously in liquid form as Maggotheroin. It’s not addictive, however, and acts as a self sedative.

HELLHOUNDS

Doom’s lupine pets. When something good happens to a Pitizen or she gets too sunshiny, Doom sends the Hellhounds after her. The Hellhounds hate sunshine and good news. When riled up it’s possible for another Pitizen to sacrifice herself and distract the hounds from attacking a happy Pitizen.

THE SOFA

Besides the Bar (where Maggots are turned into consumable form), the Sofa is the only other known furniture in The Pit. It’s where Pitizens hide under when times are particularly rough.

THE SUBBASEMENT/SUB-SUB-SUB PIT/HOLE

When hiding under the Sofa just ain’t good enough, Pitizens dig a hole in The Pit floor euphemistically called the “Subbasement” or the "Sub-sub-sub Pit."

THE WALLOWING HOUR

The Pit’s version of Happy Hour.

SUNSHINE ALLERGY

Due to residency in The Pit, Pitizens are generally allergic to sunshine. Sunshine hurts Pitizens’ eyes. They often slink back into The Pit after a foray into the outside world because the sunshine blinds them. Hope tells Pitizens that they can be rehabilitated and return to normal society, but Doom scoffs at that.

PITIZEN MOTTOS AND SAYINGS

“You may leave The Pit, but The Pit never leaves you” – a Pit truism.

“Why not my crap?” – The Pitizen’s lament, wondering that with so much crap in the world why isn’t their crap good enough?

“FU I ain’t done yet” – Typical Pitizen battle cry/response when the wallowing is temporarily over. Pitizens tend to be never-say-die pessimists.

“Welcome, but sorry to see you down here” – Standard Pitizen greeting to newcomers. Variations along these same lines is common.

“Powers that Shush™” – Those that advocate the censorship of criticism. Their actions may take the form of "BFFing™”, acting as the best friend forever in defense of someone, even a total stranger, for a perceived slight.

“Gonads of Insanity™” – A mythical Pitizen quality to daringly attempt something which the Pitizen knows there is a 99% chance it will cause her unspeakable pain.

“Enter The Pit at your own risk” – The warning to non Pitizens who enter The Pit without understanding the dark forces at work. Outsiders tend to come to The Pit thinking they can “cheer up” a Pitizien with notions such as “It only takes one!,” but it always backfires.

“We/I suck” – The common Pitizen belief.

“Why do I even bother/try/continue to do this?” – A rhetorical Pitizen question.

"Gallow's humor" – The only humor that Doom allows in The Pit

"Brightsiding™" – When a Pitizen brings sunshine, good news, hope, or general joy into The Pit. The Hellhounds tolerate some, but more than a smidgen is too much

"We are not hacks, monkeys, or losers" - Aspirational Pitizen quote.

callalily61 · 02-12-2009, 06:34 PM

<-- Jonathan Edwards

One of the "best" lines from his famous "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon:

Quote:

Consider the fearful danger you are in: it is a great fumace of wrath, a wide and bottomless pit, full of the fire of wrath, that you are held over in the hand of that God, whose wrath is provoked and incensed as much against you, as against many of the damned in hell. You hang by a slender thread, with the flames of divine wrath flashing about it, and ready every moment to singe it, and burn it asunder; and you have no interest in any Mediator, and nothing to lay hold of to save yourself, nothing to keep off the flames of wrath, nothing of your own, nothing that you ever have done, nothing that you can do, to induce God to spare you one moment.

I don't have much use for Edwards' sermons, but he was a rockstar in his day. This one was delivered July 8, 1841.

Hmm... yep. Purgatory's Pit of Doom is a lot like this concept of hell.

ChaosTitan · 02-12-2009, 06:36 PM

Are you allowed to have cake in this Pit below Purgatory?

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveCordero

In other words, we're in a place where we look up and say:

"Those guys in Purgatory up there really have it good."

Pretty much. I would say, "Most of those guys in Purgatory have it good."

It certainly feels like it, Lil.

callalily61 · 02-12-2009, 06:38 PM

Chaos, only if it's...

wait for it...

Devil's Food.

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaosTitan

Are you allowed to have cake in this Pit below Purgatory?

But of course, and alcohol.

ink wench · 02-12-2009, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callalily61

<-- Jonathan Edwards

One of the "best" lines from his famous "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon:

I don't have much use for Edwards' sermons, but he was a rockstar in his day. This one was delivered July 8, 1841.

Hmm... yep. Purgatory's Pit of Doom is a lot like this concept of hell.

I had a friend in grad school who loved writing about Jonathan Edwards.

I could get comfy down here. I'm always cold anyway. And if there's devil's food cake and alcohol....

firedrake · 02-12-2009, 06:47 PM

Count me in. I was never one for turning away cake and booze.

Not so much as a whisper in my inbox. Will have to take a lighter to the tumbleweeds.

Are UK agents just slower?

ChaosTitan · 02-12-2009, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callalily61

Chaos, only if it's...

wait for it...

Devil's Food.

*RIMSHOT*

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 06:58 PM

I'm beginning to think most are in a coma.

Yes, ink, it's always toasty warm down here. I like to burn all my snail mail rejections here.

Just counted--I have approx 50 + unanswered queries out there.

mikeland · 02-12-2009, 07:50 PM

It is hot down here. Sign me up.

JenWriter · 02-12-2009, 07:54 PM

I brought Bloody Marys!

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenWriter

I brought Bloody Marys!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you can attend come inside, come inside...

Thanks, Jen. I love Bloody Marys!

firedrake · 02-12-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Branwyn

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you can attend come inside, come inside...

oooh, now that brings back some memories!

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firedrake

oooh, now that brings back some memories!

Yeah, love Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

firedrake · 02-12-2009, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Branwyn

Yeah, love Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

That is still my favorite ELP album. I played it until it was knackered!

justinai · 02-12-2009, 08:10 PM

Ha, Branwyn, I was just telling my husband there should be a place lower than Purgatory the other day.

Seriously, I have like twenty-five unanswered queries all sent out since Jan.

I'm starting to think every agent has me on filter.

czjaba · 02-12-2009, 08:16 PM

Well, I've written 4 books over the last 3 years and sent out literally hundreds and hundreds of queries. (At least a hundred per book and more for a couple of them). I've had 2 partial requests and 1 of those rejected by form, the other turned into a full request, then I found AW and realized the person wasn't even an agent and publishers he was a consultant with had closed up shop.
So, I think I fit right in here. I'd LOVE to have partials and fulls out...And I will soon. But I like to have a place to come and hang my head, cozy up on the couch with a nice big chunk of devil's food cake (no fork or plate necessary) and realize I'm not the only one who goes through various shades of emotion in this process. Some days I love my work. Other days, I wonder why the hell do I waste my time.

Okay, I'm done now. Interruption over, pass the cake, please, and carry on --

Branwyn · 02-12-2009, 08:28 PM

Ask and ye shall receive...Justinai.

My 50 + was just for this recent book. Yeah, I'm in the hundreds too, czjaba.

I'm really having a hard time getting motivated. I'm truly stuck in the "why bother," hole.

Dragonfly45 · 02-12-2009, 08:43 PM

I'm so in...total lack of motivation and in the dumps. But thank goodness for cake.

callalily61 · 02-12-2009, 10:06 PM

Branwyn, since this is Hell so POCK CHOPS are expected, I've been trying to decide if your av is torture--or porn. Or... both?

Teriann · 02-12-2009, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colbymarshall1

I'm so in...total lack of motivation and in the dumps. But thank goodness for cake.

Stopped in to hand out cold drinks and condolences. I've been there before (thinking why bother). I told my husband not long ago that maybe I should go back to painting (I took a lot of art in college) but then I thought about it and said, "Yeah, but then I'd probably get crazy over painting -- trying to get into certain galleries, etc." He laughed.

One famous writer (forget who) said that he refused to give up long after any normal person would give up. That's how I feel too. Any normal person would have given up a long time ago, but here I am, plugging along . . .

Back to my piles of the kind of work which pays bills . . .

SteveCordero · 02-12-2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callalily61

Branwyn, since this is Hell so POCK CHOPS are expected, I've been trying to decide if your av is torture--or porn. Or... both?

You're not alone.

Karen Duvall · 02-12-2009, 10:42 PM

I've been there too, guys, and it's not a fun place to hang. I stopped writing for a while and just tinkered with old stuff, kept apprised of what was happening in the publishing industry, and maintained my memberships with a couple of writers' groups. So I still felt like I was a part of things, just not actively involved, you know? And for me, the breather did me good. Not once did I say "I quit!" But I did take a break. And it did me a world of good.

02-12-2009, 06:25 PM	#1
Branwyn Print release:Sept.1,'09 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Purgatory's Pit of Doom Posts: 1,766	Purgatory's Pit of Doom I thought I'd start a thread for those of us who have sunk below Purgatory. Those who are not waiting to sub, and don't have 3 or more fulls out there. For us groupies whose Rockstar agents have left us out in the cold without a second glance, while we hang on...by a thread. The flames of the Pit are burning our soles and our souls as we try to hold on to a glimmer of hope. __________________ The Hanging Tree-WIP Harvest Moon-WIP myspace.com/elladonna The Upside of Karma Last edited by Branwyn; 02-12-2009 at 06:59 PM.

02-12-2009, 06:32 PM	#2
SteveCordero Pit Livin' & Purgatory Dreamin' Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 2,872	In other words, we're in a place where we look up and say: *"Those guys in Purgatory up there really have it good."* EDITED TO ADD (9/2/11): *THE PIT LEXICON* PURGATORY’S PIT OF DOOM Discovered by Branwyn in February 2009, Purgatory’s Pit of Doom (“The Pit”) is the Realm of Wallowing, the Dungeon of Purgatory. As Branwyn has said, “The flames of the Pit burn the soles and the souls of The Pit’s residents (“Pitizens”) as they try to hold on to a glimmer of Hope," symbolized by the Gutter Fly. It is the place to vent, rant, and cry about everything, even while being catty, green-eyed or otherwise, but without being mean-spirited. A Pitizen will not criticize you for it, but someone from the sunshiny outside world above might. So be warned!!! THE PANTHEON Doom, Despair, and Hope are three immortal siblings. Doom and Despair are twin brothers who hate their sister Hope, who is a haughty bitch that thinks every cloud has a silver lining and every frown should be turned upside down. She is the ruling Queen of Purgatory. Her older brother Doom is the ruling King of The Pit and his brother Despair is the Hand of the King. Doom and Despair are in an eternal struggle with Hope for supremacy of the hearts and minds of writers everywhere. GUTTER FLY The symbol of Hope. The Gutter Fly appears like a Butterfly to Pitizens beguiled by Hope while in The Pit. Unfortunately, this leads a Pitizen to chase after the Gutter Fly and fall off a cliff. MAGGOTS The Pit’s only indigenous population. They blanket the floor of The Pit and are edible. Consumption in drink, liquid, powder, or tobacco-like form is quite soothing, by Pit standards. They can be made into Maggotinis (Pitizens’ drink of choice) and Maggoccinos, the Pitizen's choice of breakfast beverage. When times are particularly rough, they can be clumped into the tobacco-like form for the Maggot Bong, into powder form as Maggotcaine or purer form, Maggotcrack, or taken intravenously in liquid form as Maggotheroin. It’s not addictive, however, and acts as a self sedative. HELLHOUNDS Doom’s lupine pets. When something good happens to a Pitizen or she gets too sunshiny, Doom sends the Hellhounds after her. The Hellhounds hate sunshine and good news. When riled up it’s possible for another Pitizen to sacrifice herself and distract the hounds from attacking a happy Pitizen. THE SOFA Besides the Bar (where Maggots are turned into consumable form), the Sofa is the only other known furniture in The Pit. It’s where Pitizens hide under when times are particularly rough. THE SUBBASEMENT/SUB-SUB-SUB PIT/HOLE When hiding under the Sofa just ain’t good enough, Pitizens dig a hole in The Pit floor euphemistically called the “Subbasement” or the "Sub-sub-sub Pit." THE WALLOWING HOUR The Pit’s version of Happy Hour. SUNSHINE ALLERGY Due to residency in The Pit, Pitizens are generally allergic to sunshine. Sunshine hurts Pitizens’ eyes. They often slink back into The Pit after a foray into the outside world because the sunshine blinds them. Hope tells Pitizens that they can be rehabilitated and return to normal society, but Doom scoffs at that. PITIZEN MOTTOS AND SAYINGS “You may leave The Pit, but The Pit never leaves you” – a Pit truism. “Why not my crap?” – The Pitizen’s lament, wondering that with so much crap in the world why isn’t their crap good enough? “FU I ain’t done yet” – Typical Pitizen battle cry/response when the wallowing is temporarily over. Pitizens tend to be never-say-die pessimists. “Welcome, but sorry to see you down here” – Standard Pitizen greeting to newcomers. Variations along these same lines is common. “Powers that Shush™” – Those that advocate the censorship of criticism. Their actions may take the form of "BFFing™”, acting as the best friend forever in defense of someone, even a total stranger, for a perceived slight. “Gonads of Insanity™” – A mythical Pitizen quality to daringly attempt something which the Pitizen knows there is a 99% chance it will cause her unspeakable pain. “Enter The Pit at your own risk” – The warning to non Pitizens who enter The Pit without understanding the dark forces at work. Outsiders tend to come to The Pit thinking they can “cheer up” a Pitizien with notions such as “It only takes one!,” but it always backfires. “We/I suck” – The common Pitizen belief. “Why do I even bother/try/continue to do this?” – A rhetorical Pitizen question. "Gallow's humor" – The only humor that Doom allows in The Pit "Brightsiding™" – When a Pitizen brings sunshine, good news, hope, or general joy into The Pit. The Hellhounds tolerate some, but more than a smidgen is too much "We are not hacks, monkeys, or losers" - Aspirational Pitizen quote. __________________ My site: http://www.stevencordero.com My blog: http://stevencorderoblog.blogspot.com My twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/SteveCordero Last edited by SteveCordero; 04-25-2012 at 11:17 PM.

02-12-2009, 06:36 PM	#4
ChaosTitan Around AW Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The not-so-distant future Posts: 15,461	Are you allowed to have cake in this Pit below Purgatory? __________________ Blog: Organized Chaos \| Pinterest \| Facebook \| Website \| Twitter "Holy fck!" --Yummy Men & Kick Ass Chicks, on CHANGELING. The public doesn't trust them. The government wants to control them. Being a superhero has never been this hard, especially for Tempest.*--Coming April 22, 2013 from Pocket Star.

02-12-2009, 06:38 PM	#6
callalily61 The Girl in the Steampunk Hat AW Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Non carborundum illegitimi Posts: 25,444	Chaos, only if it's... wait for it... Devil's Food. __________________ <-- We're links to our Amazon pages!

02-12-2009, 06:47 PM	#9
firedrake Has anyone seen mah bunniez? Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: doesn't play well with others Posts: 8,530	Count me in. I was never one for turning away cake and booze. Not so much as a whisper in my inbox. Will have to take a lighter to the tumbleweeds. Are UK agents just slower? __________________

02-12-2009, 06:58 PM	#11
Branwyn Print release:Sept.1,'09 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Purgatory's Pit of Doom Posts: 1,766	I'm beginning to think most are in a coma. Yes, ink, it's always toasty warm down here. I like to burn all my snail mail rejections here. Just counted--I have approx 50 + unanswered queries out there. __________________ The Hanging Tree-WIP Harvest Moon-WIP myspace.com/elladonna The Upside of Karma Last edited by Branwyn; 02-12-2009 at 07:10 PM.

02-12-2009, 07:50 PM	#12
mikeland Call me Pookie Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Pending Posts: 755	It is hot down here. Sign me up. __________________ website blog twitter My debut novel, WE, will be published by Coffeetown Press. Read my stories at Pindeldyboz, Barrelhouse, and Treehouse. I review TV and movies at Pop Matters.

02-12-2009, 07:54 PM	#13
JenWriter Word Count Slayer Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Wales Posts: 605	I brought Bloody Marys! __________________ "Without the bitter, baby, the sweet just ain't as sweet." Current WIP: 15k / 70k written Short Stories Out: 4 Youtube - Twitter - Blog - Facebook

02-12-2009, 08:10 PM	#18
justinai SHAZAM!! Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pennsyltucky Posts: 170	Ha, Branwyn, I was just telling my husband there should be a place lower than Purgatory the other day. Seriously, I have like twenty-five unanswered queries all sent out since Jan. I'm starting to think every agent has me on filter. __________________ Follow Me on Twitter: tehawesomersace

02-12-2009, 08:16 PM	#19
czjaba dreaming of the day... Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Right here, in front of my computer Posts: 996	Well, I've written 4 books over the last 3 years and sent out literally hundreds and hundreds of queries. (At least a hundred per book and more for a couple of them). I've had 2 partial requests and 1 of those rejected by form, the other turned into a full request, then I found AW and realized the person wasn't even an agent and publishers he was a consultant with had closed up shop. So, I think I fit right in here. I'd LOVE to have partials and fulls out...And I will soon. But I like to have a place to come and hang my head, cozy up on the couch with a nice big chunk of devil's food cake (no fork or plate necessary) and realize I'm not the only one who goes through various shades of emotion in this process. Some days I love my work. Other days, I wonder why the hell do I waste my time. Okay, I'm done now. Interruption over, pass the cake, please, and carry on -- __________________ THE NOBODY -Thriller -84k words - QUERY Process TAMPLETOWN - Upper MG Fantasy - 46k words - on hold THE BEAVERS - Upper MG Adventure - 48k words - Complete NEW DAWN 2010 - YA Thriller - 70k words - Trunked

02-12-2009, 08:28 PM	#20
Branwyn Print release:Sept.1,'09 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Purgatory's Pit of Doom Posts: 1,766	Ask and ye shall receive...Justinai. My 50 + was just for this recent book. Yeah, I'm in the hundreds too, czjaba. I'm really having a hard time getting motivated. I'm truly stuck in the "why bother," hole. __________________ The Hanging Tree-WIP Harvest Moon-WIP myspace.com/elladonna The Upside of Karma

02-12-2009, 08:43 PM	#21
Dragonfly45 Purveyor of the Sparkly Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: GA Posts: 891	I'm so in...total lack of motivation and in the dumps. But thank goodness for cake. __________________ ~Colby~ Website Writing Blog Humor Blog Twitter Chain of Command-from Stairway Press, Jan. 2013 tT- coming June 2013 from Stairway Press CB- on sub PbN- WIP

02-12-2009, 10:06 PM	#22
callalily61 The Girl in the Steampunk Hat AW Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Non carborundum illegitimi Posts: 25,444	Branwyn, since this is Hell so POCK CHOPS are expected, I've been trying to decide if your av is torture--or porn. Or... both? __________________ <-- We're links to our Amazon pages!

02-12-2009, 10:42 PM	#25
Karen Duvall Chalice the Hatchet Knight Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bend, OR Posts: 1,999	I've been there too, guys, and it's not a fun place to hang. I stopped writing for a while and just tinkered with old stuff, kept apprised of what was happening in the publishing industry, and maintained my memberships with a couple of writers' groups. So I still felt like I was a part of things, just not actively involved, you know? And for me, the breather did me good. Not once did I say "I quit!" But I did take a break. And it did me a world of good. __________________ Karen Duvall Blog Website Twitter Facebook ***************************** KNIGHT'S CURSE** -- A Publisher's Weekly Top 10 Pick for Fall 2011 (Harlequin Luna) DARKEST KNIGHT -- Sequel to KNIGHT'S CURSE released March 2012 (Harlequin Luna) SUN STORM -- Novella in Harlequin's TIL THE WORLD ENDS Anthology

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