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Old 08-13-2010, 12:01 AM   #1676
Kaiser-Kun
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Kaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
5.- Insist on honoring the defunct with a conga line.


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Worst opening lines for a eulogy.
1.- We all loved this woman... If you know what I mean.
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:45 AM   #1677
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SWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSWest is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
2. "I know you've all got better places to be, so I'll make this brief..."
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Old 08-13-2010, 04:32 AM   #1678
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Williebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
3. Ok, so did anybody get this guy's name?


Anybody??
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:31 AM   #1679
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4. I'm Al Gore and since I now have your undivided attention, I'd like to talk about global warming.
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Old 08-14-2010, 04:49 AM   #1680
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Snowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSnowstorm is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
5. Dearly beloved .... oops.

Bad things to say when the baby comes home from the hospital.
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Old 08-14-2010, 06:16 AM   #1681
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1. "Is. . . is there something wrong with it?"
(Not even kidding, my brother said that about my baby cousin. To his credit, she DID look like a shrivled up angry man-raisin)
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Old 08-14-2010, 08:25 PM   #1682
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2. He's beautiful. And look, you're still kind of chubby.
Uhm, I'm just gonna...
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Old 08-15-2010, 03:16 AM   #1683
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3. Show me how this whole breastfeeding thing works!
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:07 AM   #1684
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4. They said you was abucted by aliens but I never believed it . . . til now.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:36 AM   #1685
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Williebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
5. Well, sure, that birthing thing was cool and all. But can you put it back?


Things you can say about fishing that you can't say about your spouse.
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Old 08-16-2010, 07:32 AM   #1686
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1. It might look silly but nothing can resist it when I wiggle it like that.
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:15 AM   #1687
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2. When we get something that looks like that, we usually throw it back.
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:32 AM   #1688
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3. Now you gut it.
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:45 AM   #1689
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Kaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsKaiser-Kun is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
4. I got a fatter one last year!
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Old 08-17-2010, 04:22 AM   #1690
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poetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
5. Aw, this one might be a little tiddler, but you can use him as bait for a bigger one.

Disturbing road signs
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:01 AM   #1691
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1. All roads lead to hell.
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:52 AM   #1692
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2. Alien Abductions Next 50 Miles
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:59 AM   #1693
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poetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
3. (used to drive past this one in Michigan fairly frequently)
PRISON AREA - DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:42 AM   #1694
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4.
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Old 08-17-2010, 06:08 PM   #1695
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5.- BEHIND YOU!


Bad things to hear when the lights go out
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Old 08-17-2010, 06:36 PM   #1696
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1. This cave is perfectly safe. I'm sure that bear scat is at least a week old.
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Old 08-17-2010, 06:36 PM   #1697
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Williebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsWilliebee is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
2. I think he's out doctor. Would you like to cut?
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Old 08-17-2010, 06:38 PM   #1698
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3. "Cannibals? Where?"
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:30 PM   #1699
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4. I think is safe now. You wrap that string around the gargantuan's ankles. Once we topple the beast we'll be able to tie it down.
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Old 08-18-2010, 05:19 AM   #1700
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poetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentspoetinahat is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
5. "First!"

Movie stars you wouldn't want to be mistaken for
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