Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by jallenecs

But being reminded of it so emphatically was really crushing.

No, no! You're taking away the wrong lesson.

The editors are looking for good stories. They want your story to be good. All you have to do is write a good story and send it to them in the form they requested and the rest follows.

This is a game of skill, not a game of chance. And the ones who send in stories printed in green ink on red paper with nude photos of themselves attached have just removed themselves entirely from the competition. Even if their story is brilliant.

Yes, they're getting 400 stories a week. But you're only competing against the top 10%. The rest have sabotaged themselves.

Be of good cheer. You followed the guidelines? You're good to go. Now send out your story, and, while you're waiting to hear back, write another one.

============

Elsewhere: Decadent Publishing is demonstrating why the Author's Big Mistake is such a Big Mistake.

http://theendisnotthefinalword.blogs...-will-not.html

http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2011...ehaving-badly/

http://search.twitter.com/search?q=decadent+publishing

http://karenknowsbest.com/2011/01/13...our-real-name/

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...=198626&page=5


The Author's Big Mistake (ABM) is responding in any way whatever to a negative review.

[Detri Redmond]

Great video and advice. With all the excitement behind sending in your work it could be pretty easy to miss these simple procedures.

Question, does microsoft word processor already have 1 inch margins?

And also who do you write for? First, I write for myself, then my audience and the ideal reader as Stephen King mentioned. Is this the best way? Should you instead write for yourself and then the audience or the agent/publisher?

Thanks

[James D. Macdonald]

I believe MS Word is preset with 1" margins, but if it isn't (which should be easy to check) you can probably make that the default.

I write for myself, first, and next for a reader. A reader. I imagine someone who I'm telling the story to (and make up little stories about her, her background, what she's doing that day).

Editors and agents and publishers ... no. The person I'm telling the story to is a reader. (And yes, I usually imagine a female reader.) But not always the same reader.

Whatever works for you....

[Detri Redmond]

Thanks again

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

(And yes, I usually imagine a female reader.)

Incidentally--

My most common fan letters are from (in this order):

Teen-aged young ladies,
Priests and nuns, and
Retired intelligence professionals.


I believe this is because

A) The reader I imagine is usually a mid-twenties female in an entry-level professional job (my imagined audience sees herself in that same place),
B) I more often than not write on religious themes, and
C) as a retired intelligence professional myself, I make sure the details of Intel work are right. (What you generally see in thrillers ranges from bad to laughably bad.)

Oh, and when Ian talks about "some publisher might send you a check for three or four or five dollars," or he says, "Why should they bother to steal your story when they can have it by paying you five cents a word," he is being ... sarcastic.

If a publisher isn't offering thousands of dollars for your novel (or hundreds for your short story), you're talking to the wrong publishers.

Don't sell yourself short.

Start at the high end of the market. If you start at the low end you're never going to get to the high end.

Let me tell you a little about myself. (No more than you'd learn by reading my books, but ...)

I am a sincere and devout Roman Catholic.
I write for the greater glory of God.
I believe that the Lord desires that we have Fun.

[Chris P]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

I believe MS Word is preset with 1" margins, but if it isn't (which should be easy to check) you can probably make that the default.

I write for myself, first, and next for a reader. A reader. I imagine someone who I'm telling the story to (and make up little stories about her, her background, what she's doing that day).

Editors and agents and publishers ... no. The person I'm telling the story to is a reader. (And yes, I usually imagine a female reader.) But not always the same reader.

Whatever works for you....

Brings to mind Kurt Vonnegut, in the forward to Bagombo Snuffbox, where he says you should write to make one specific person smile. For him, it was his sister.

I recently tried to write in response to the myriad faceless voices saying "don't ever do this," "you won't get published if you do that," and "you fool, that's garbage for reasons X, Y, or Z." I ended up hating my book. I read a book by someone I would like to make smile, got into my revisions, and now I love my book again.

Thanks for the input, Jim!

[euclid]

Jim,

Amazon send me regular "recommendations" based on my previous purchases.
The last one included The Confessions of you-know-who.

Is Amazon back in your good books again?

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by euclid

Jim,

Amazon send me regular "recommendations" based on my previous purchases.
The last one included The Confessions of you-know-who.

Is Amazon back in your good books again?

No.

But they sell books. They can sell any books they like. I can't stop 'em.

If you want to buy the Confessions, any number of other booksellers have it. Please buy from one of them.

[jallenecs]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

No, no! You're taking away the wrong lesson.

The editors are looking for good stories. They want your story to be good. All you have to do is write a good story and send it to them in the form they requested and the rest follows.

This is a game of skill, not a game of chance. And the ones who send in stories printed in green ink on red paper with nude photos of themselves attached have just removed themselves entirely from the competition. Even if their story is brilliant.

Yes, they're getting 400 stories a week. But you're only competing against the top 10%. The rest have sabotaged themselves.

Be of good cheer. You followed the guidelines? You're good to go. Now send out your story, and, while you're waiting to hear back, write another one.

I can't deny the fact that the statistics are disheartening.

However, if it's any consolation, I did take away something very edifying. At one point, he was describing how much of each story he would read, and said he seldom read them all the way through, or even past the first paragraph. Then he said something that struck me so powerfully that I must have played it back forty times. He said that my job was to write the best first sentence I could. Then the best second sentence. Then the best third, and fourth and fifth, right on until I got to "The End."

I can do that. I can do the hell out of that.

[James D. Macdonald]

We're at The Battle of Flamborough Head in 1779. HMS Serapis (Richard Pearson, commanding) is locked in combat with Bonhomme Richard (John Paul Jones, commanding).

The two vessels are lashed together. The cannon are muzzle-to-muzzle, the gunners' mates slashing at one another with swords or trying to grab each others' swab rods. Both ships are taking a terrible pounding; Bonhomme Richard is in a sinking condition. A British shot carries away the American halyard and the US flag tumbles to the deck. Captain Pearson shouts across to the other vessel, "Sir! Have you struck your colors?"

Jones, on the deck of Bonhomme Richard replies, "I have not yet begun to fight!"

And down on the gun deck, one gunner turns to another and says, "Some people never get the word."

Therefore, for the people who haven't gotten the word, Absolute Write is going to be moving to a new server. This may take some time and have a few unexpected bobbles. Details here.

[JMC2009]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

Incidentally--

My most common fan letters are from (in this order):

Teen-aged young ladies,
Priests and nuns, and
Retired intelligence professionals.


I believe this is because

A) The reader I imagine is usually a mid-twenties female in an entry-level professional job (my imagined audience sees herself in that same place),
B) I more often than not write on religious themes, and
C) as a retired intelligence professional myself, I make sure the details of Intel work are right. (What you generally see in thrillers ranges from bad to laughably bad.)

Chicken or the egg? Did you start out imagining such a specific audience (mid-twenties female in entry-level job) and wrote to that, or did you start out writing for a more general audience and then when the fan letters started rolling in that's the audience you began to imagine (because it was truth)?

[James D. Macdonald]

Egg, totally. Didn't start getting the fan letters until after the books were written.

And the first weren't written for a generic audience, but for a specific person.

[allenparker]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

Incidentally--


Let me tell you a little about myself. (No more than you'd learn by reading my books, but ...)

I am a sincere and devout Roman Catholic.
I write for the greater glory of God.
I believe that the Lord desires that we have Fun.

I knew this from reading your books.

I knew you were Navy from reading just a blurb.

There are many authors here on AW that I would love to sit down and talk books with. There are two which I would rather talk life.

I think I know your mechanical devices casually and how they relate to how you craft your tales. With you, I'd rather know more about the art of the story than the mechanics.

And I still think we might have chewed a bit of the same soil in Central America. Maybe someday when the records are de-classified, I will see your name on a ship I boarded or on orders delivered.

[euclid]

Hi Jim,

I downloaded Kindle for PC and The Confessions (from Amazon).

I read the first tale and found 3 places where (I suppose) reformatting has caused typos (leaving words hyphenated)

Spec-ial
any-one
imp-ressions

Also, at the end of one paragraph you said "...costing her a pretty."
Is this a typo? Maybe not.

What's a Stoner?

I loved the last sentence!

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by euclid

Hi Jim,

I downloaded Kindle for PC and The Confessions (from Amazon).

I read the first tale and found 3 places where (I suppose) reformatting has caused typos (leaving words hyphenated)

Spec-ial
any-one
imp-ressions

Not much I can do about those, and people who read e-books run into more and worse than that.

Also, at the end of one paragraph you said "...costing her a pretty."
Is this a typo? Maybe not.

That was intentional.

What's a Stoner?

A variety of assault rifle.

I loved the last sentence!

Me too!

[Wil]

Hey Jim, just got done reading pretty much all of volume 1, a little everyday for a few months lol. Very, very helpful stuff Jim and i wanted you to know that I really appreciate and value everything you've said.

[Wil]

I'm currently agonising over the opening in one of my novels. Many peopel have said they liked it and like the main character in Evan, whislt others said they could not relate to him and perhaps try showing his character more.
I'm also agonising how to get it word perfect as this will be the first sentences a potential reader will see.
Here's my current opening:

Evan Umbra vaulted the school gate and hit the ground running.
They followed close behind.
Rain spat down from a bruise-blue sky and gusts of wind snatched at him with invisible claws. Fear clutched at his heart with a firm, icy grasp.
There were no others to witness what Evan knew was about to happen, not even a car speeding through the tight network of narrow roads. He hurled himself into the nearest alley in an attempt to escape. Impulse fuelled him as he ran from the three. He didn’t know where to run or what to do. He soon realised his mistake.
Alone. Cornered. Trapped.
Oh, please, let it be over quick.
At the end of the alleyway loomed a tall metal fence blocking his escape. He knew he didn’t have a chance, but he had to at least try. Evan threw himself at the gate, scrabbling for a hold as he attempted to pull himself up and over, but it was no use. Two rough hands seized him.
One minute he was clinging to the cold metal, the next he was shuddering into the hard ground. A brief respite; staring up at the leaden sky, then he was hauled back to his feet, spun round, and thrown back against the unforgiving metal.
His whole body trembled and his stomach tightened. The bullies laughed in his face.
“What’s the rush, Ev?” Ollie said, at the forefront of the three, his fat face grinning maliciously.
Evan opened his mouth to speak--it was slapped hard. The humiliation was worse then the sting.
“Oh, what you gonna’ do, mate?” the bully taunted. “Go on, hit me.”
Before Evan could retort, all the wind rushed out of him as Ollie’s fat fist slammed into his stomach; he fell to his knees, gasping for air. Again and again the bully struck, his friends chuckling as Evan fell to the floor, body jerking with each blow.
He didn’t want to be such a coward, but knew he was. He hated it, everyday of his life; he hated himself for not having the courage to fight back. He was a completely useless human being.
Perhaps he deserved his punishment.
“Fight back Evan, come on you wimp. We won’t stop until you fight.”
“I can’t” Evan moaned, trying not to let the tears fall.
“Ah is the little girl gonna’ cry. For god’s sake hit me you stupid little kid.”
As Ollie laughed, he lost his focus, and Evan surged up, fighting like a cornered animal. His struck out wildly, knocking Ollie off balance and to the ground. Evan’s amazement was cut short as Ollie’s crony Jack stepped in. Evan lashed out with a kick, connecting with Jack’s midsection. This left him open to Ollie’s other stooge Natt. As Evan dealt with Jack, Natt barrelled into him from the side, slamming him up against the fence and thrusting his knee into Evan’s stomach.
Evan gasped and tried to push the bigger boy away but Natt kneed him again in the head. His vision blurred.
He tried to hit back, but by then he was reeling and off balance--his fist only struck air.
His world was turned upside down as Ollie came back, smashing into him like a crazed bull, raining down blows without mercy.
Jack and Natt joined him, kicking any exposed body part they could find.
Again and again Evan’s body rocked and quivered from the impact. All three bullies were screaming incoherently. Evan was silent.
Finally his torture came to an end.
“Hit back again, Evan, and I’ll kill ya’.”
“but you just said-“
Ollie punctuated his threat with a last kick to the stomach.
Evan covered his face, gritting his teeth and trying not to cry out at the pain.
Their laughter haunted him as they sauntered out of the alley, leaving him curled up in a ball against the cold metal fence.



One person mentioned that I change the opening to this:

They were after him. Evan vaulted the school gate and hit the ground running. He didn't want to be such a coward, but he knew he was.
Rain spat down from a bruise-blue sky and gusts of wind snatched at him with invisible claws. Fear clutched at his heart with a firm, icy grasp.

But then another mentioned how this version feels too disjointed.
Is there any help you can provide Jim?

[James D. Macdonald]

The first line is fine as written.

For more, please go to Share Your Work, where the squirrels are waiting to read and comment on your story.

[euclid]

Oh! Those squirrels!
Don't mention the squirrels!

[allenparker]

This seems like such a straight forward question, but I can't seem to get this straight in my mind.

How does one differentiate between what is a prologue and a Chapter One.

AW is full of discussions about why we should, should not, maybe we should have prologues, but no on defines the roles of each and how they differ.

I am sure somewhere in my writing education, I skipped school on the day they discussed this so I am ready to wear the pointy hat and sit in the corner during the discussion.

But you have to admit, skinny dipping in the pond was more fun than school that hot summer day.

[movieman]

Originally Posted by allenparker

How does one differentiate between what is a prologue and a Chapter One.

To me, a prologue is something you can skip but still understand the story, and chapter one isn't .

[VTwriter]

A prologue is short, anywhere from a paragraph to a few pages. The action or exposition in the prologue doesn't occur at the beginning of the story. Typically, it refers to something that happened in the past (sacred relic is lost at sea), or some event in the future that the novel will eventually get to before it ends (a murder with an unknown victim or murderer who is identified later in the novel).

One of the reasons prologues are disliked it that their events don't occur at the beginning of the story. The reader has to reset their mental image when they start Chapter 1. Prologues are often used to build a false sense of suspense or tension that is then ignored for large parts of the novel. Beginning writers who are unsure how or where to start the novel often fall back on a prologue to build their suspense. Too often, though, it's a false promise that isn't brought to fruition.

[movieman]

Originally Posted by VTwriter

Beginning writers who are unsure how or where to start the novel often fall back on a prologue to build their suspense. Too often, though, it's a false promise that isn't brought to fruition.

Yeah, I was thinking about a prologue for the story I've just started, but ultimately anything important will end up in the main story so there's really no point (and, if it sells, the background can be summarised in a sentence on the back-cover blurb).

I haven't read one of his books in years but the only writer whose prologues I consistently did read was Clive Cussler, because they were usually interesting stories in their own right which didn't just repeat backstory that came up in the main narrative. Otherwise when a prologue starts talking about how ten thousand years ago the Hamster Horde were defeated by Flaming Space Weasels at Wr't'hell'isthat, who then went on to build the Weasel Empire that would stretch from... well, whatever, I usually flip to chapter one.

[James D. Macdonald]

Today is Server Move day.

The boards will be turned off today at approximately 3:30 pm, Pacific (USian) time/6:30 pm, East Coast time.

[Ink-Pen-Paper]

May the goddess of bytes be kind and allow the power of electrons bring to life the new silicon.

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

Today is Server Move day.

The boards will be turned off today at approximately 3:30 pm, Pacific (USian) time/6:30 pm, East Coast time.