Questions about POV

Paradis · Jan 31, 2010

So i've been doing some restructoring on my screenplay here lately, mostly cause i suffered tremendously from the first time writer's over directing syndrome.

However, i'm sort of stuck in that it's necessary for the story to switch to a first person POV, specifically to show the viewer what an object appears as to the protagonist. Its a reoccuring angle throughout the story and needs to be delineated somewhat at times.

So i guess i'm a little perturbed about the appropriate kind of mechanics and the amount of direction i can provide whilst still adhering to the professional guidelines..

Any comments are appreciated

Kosh · Jan 31, 2010

Paradis said:
So i've been doing some restructoring on my screenplay here lately, mostly cause i suffered tremendously from the first time writer's over directing syndrome.

However, i'm sort of stuck in that it's necessary for the story to switch to a first person POV, specifically to show the viewer what an object appears as to the protagonist. Its a reoccuring angle throughout the story and needs to be delineated somewhat at times.

So i guess i'm a little perturbed about the appropriate kind of mechanics and the amount of direction i can provide whilst still adhering to the professional guidelines..

Any comments are appreciated

Is he hallucinating, or is the object at a distance and unclear?

icerose · Jan 31, 2010

If you absolutely must specify use "We see" though just describing it works 99% of the time.

For example:

PAUL and CINDY walk hand in hand through the dense forest. A twig SNAPS. They turn, startled. A dark furry thing races toward them, its eyes glowing yellow.

Screams ECHO out of the forest and birds burst away.

Paradis · Jan 31, 2010

Kosh said:
Is he hallucinating, or is the object at a distance and unclear?

Call me overly cautious but until i atleast have the story completely finished *properly*, and figuratively stamped with my name, I want to keep the "exact" circumstances in the dark for now. Its an idea and an approach that has not been really done, or atleast developed like this before... haha, and those are rare my friend!

hallucinating would be "close" if i had to pick a descriptor.

icerose said:
If you absolutely must specify use "We see" though just describing it works 99% of the time.

For example:

PAUL and CINDY walk hand in hand through the dense forest. A twig SNAPS. They turn, startled. A dark furry thing races toward them, its eyes glowing yellow.

Screams ECHO out of the forest and birds burst away.

thanks for your suggestions and i will try to use that as often as i can, unfortunately there are moments i need to specify more exclusively than that. there are several scenes in which the protagonist's perspective/POV is distinctly different than those in the same room as him, and in those scenes, the audience is going to be bouncing back and forth from his POV to regular third person.

Any advice?

icerose · Jan 31, 2010

I've seen it:

PAUL POV

A severed hand twitches on the floor.

Sort of handled like a mini-slug. But again, very rare, very sparingly used. This would only be used if you wanted what's on the camera to specifically be viewed from his eyes.

Paradis · Jan 31, 2010

icerose said:
I've seen it:

PAUL POV

A severed hand twitches on the floor.

Sort of handled like a mini-slug. But again, very rare, very sparingly used. This would only be used if you wanted what's on the camera to specifically be viewed from his eyes.

Yes, and thats exactly what i do need to convey. Its essential to the story and the character. The premise is of the whole story is intimately linked to this particular angle.

Thanks for the replies. If you can think of any screenplays off the top of your head that replicate what you described, i'd be in your debt. Nothing comes to mind off hand

Mac H. · Feb 1, 2010

An obvious example would be 'Jaws'. It uses mini-slugs just like icerose suggested.

To quote:

BRODY'S POINT OF VIEW
Out beyond the kids and the dog, the Fat Lady is bobbing around,
out way too far, isolated from the other swimmers.

UNDERWATER VIEW - EXT. - DAY
A fish's-eye view of the bathers: lots of little kicking legs,
rafts with tasty arms dangling in the blue, slowing circling,
favoring one raft (little Alex's). The Kintner boy's legs and
arms are kicking and paddling, producing bizarre underwater
vibrations of more than passing interest. Dog goes by, dog-
paddling along.

If you can't find the script elsewhere, try here: http://tinyurl.com/MH-Jaws

Mac

icerose · Feb 1, 2010

Mac beat me to it. I was going to suggest JAWS.

Paradis · Feb 1, 2010

excellent, appreciate the counsel

Questions about POV

Paradis

Kosh

Will Write for Food

icerose

Lost in School Work

Paradis

icerose

Lost in School Work

Paradis

Mac H.

Board Visitor

icerose

Lost in School Work

Paradis