Good friend part of an internet stir -- preteen bikinis

backslashbaby

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I am totally out of the loop as to what 12-13 year-olds are up to nowadays. They wear bikinis, no?

I'm going to change a couple of elements around so nothing gets blown up bigger than it has (like the blogger mom and her boy's Halloween outfit).

A good friend of mine has many old vacation pictures up on his blog. Our French (country changed to obscure the real story) family friends are shown, all smiling and tan. And the 13 year-old is in a tiny bikini. It's the early 80's.

Apparently, this has changed from being mildly eyebrow-raising back on the Southern beaches in the 80's to practically full-on sexual sickness. The parents are perverts, my friend is a pervert, and I am a pervert for not condemning the whole thing while I wore my Christie-Brinkley high cut one piece before the age of 18.

Even worse, girls are now shaving their legs before the age of 14:
http://www.bellasugar.com/Nair-Now-10-Year-Olds-632522
(and their bikini lines! Not the bikini lines!!)

I did a school report at a little Episcopalian school back in the day (as a young teen!) that included pictures of Australian beaches at the time. I'm going to burn in Hell. Clearly! The priests didn't mention a thing back then, but nowadays we know that's all a pedophilic plot anyway.

Along with the yearbook story out of England, and many others, is it safe to say we've gone completely bonkers? Or is it just me?

What do 13-year-olds wear at your local beaches? Would it be completely scandalous to see a teeny bikini on one, ever?
 

jennontheisland

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I didn't own a one piece until I was 17. Always bikinis. Never an issue. Granted, that was the 80s. My friend's kids wear bikinis now. We never thought twice about it.

My mom was opposed to me shaving my legs, despite the fact that I'm a bit of a sasquatch and had more leg hair than most of the boys my age. My dad taught me how to shave them, left me with his razor to deal with the rest, before we went to the beach when I was 12.

If women are going to continue to remove hair post-puberty, we should expect girls to start removing hair as soon as they hit puberty.
 

shelleyo

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Even worse, girls are now shaving their legs before the age of 14:

I was in junior high school (we called it that instead of middle school) in the very early 80s and almost all the girls shaved their legs because we had to wear shorts every day in PE class. Most had started shaving by about 6th grade, so this doesn't seem that shocking to me. Everyone I knew was shaving long before that age.

My daughter started shaving when she was 12 or so, and while I secretly wished she'd wait, I also didn't want her to be the only girl in PE shorts with hairy legs and have someone notice and make an issue of it, as kids do.

Shelley
 

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tiny

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What do 13-year-olds wear at your local beaches? Would it be completely scandalous to see a teeny bikini on one, ever?

They wear whatever is in fashion because lord knows you have to be in fashion when you're a teen or pre-teen. I don't think anything about it. String bikinis never go out so they're a staple. I see little-little girls on the beach in just bottoms, I see 10 and 11 year olds in bikinis. Hell, I'm more disturbed by the 90 year olds in bikinis.
 

jennontheisland

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Hm. I actually had one that tied at the sides... I think I was about 10 or 11, it was turquoise and white... I'm pretty sure it wasn't as low riding as that pink one though.

At least the kid isn't wearing stilettos with it.
 

amyashley

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I think this depends on the area, the girl, the suit, and the situation.


I am not against bikinis on 12/13 year olds. I lived in Hawaii for 3 years, and EVERYONE was wearing bikini tops with board shorts or even bikini bottoms. It was very standard, not a sexual thing, and much less was made of it. Frankly, the little girls there dressed more conservatively than in the continental states.

I shaved both legs and bikini line well before 13. I'm very hirsute and dark. It was noticeable and bothered me, so my mom taught me. It wasn't about being attractive, it was about being able to wear a skirt confidently. Puberty is a pretty tender time. If I'd been blonde it might have been different.

I'm very voluptuous. My parents allowed me to wear a bikini at 15 for the first time, but even then I was uncomfortable at the stares I got. I think if I'd been 13 in a teeny bikini I would have been wearing a big tee shirt and probably attracting a lot of pedophiles. I was too Bardot looking to be doing that. In my twenties it was great to rock it, but it was overwhelming as a kid.
If I'd been more athletically built or petite, who knows? Confidence wasn't an issue.

As a parent, though not of girls, I think the decision lies
WITH EACH PARENT.
If there ever comes a day when someone else tells me what I can wear or what my child can wear, I will be an unhappy woman. Is it right or wrong? Is it suggestive? I'm sure there are instances that it is. I still think that each family needs to make that decision on their own, and if I want the freedom to make choices about that kind of stuff in my own home, then I'll damn well keep my nose out of their business.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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If I had a daughter, she'd be wearing one of these:

1876-140-0107-de.jpg
 

backslashbaby

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Oh, I was so angry that I had to wait till I was 15 to shave my legs. I finally went in without permission at 13 and tore my leg up -- I still have the scar. I never understood how leg hair could be anything different at 15. Kids considered it ugly. Nothing 'sexual' came into it.

How teeny?

I mean, to me THIS is fine.

http://content.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/product/MediumLarge/17/_5571097.jpg




But THIS .... not so much!

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/10/childmodel_474x700.jpg




It comes down to what the child is DOING and who the child is EMULATING. It's not appropriate for an 8-year-old to emulate a Victoria's Secret model.

Oh, it was a black string bikini. She'd have had to use some Nair if she had hit that stage in puberty. But the thing is, we had no clue that skin showing was supposed to be sexual (is it?). She taught us how to body surf. We didn't even talk about boys. It was completely no big deal.

The other little girl was 8 and refused to wear a shirt because her brother didn't have to. They were from topless beaches. She didn't wear a shirt here. Nobody cared because she was a kid.
 

Cyia

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I wore 2-piece suits as a little girl, and one pieces when I got older (*cough* heavier *cough*), but it was never a big deal. I lived in Texas. The only time I can remember anyone even making a fuss about swimsuits was my uncle telling his daughter that he thought her suit was inappropriate for her age. It was exceptionally high cut, especially with her stature, but she'd bought it with her own money and he left it up to her (age 16). In the end, she took it back and got another bikini that was cut different.

On the flip side of that, my cousin's daughter looked 18 from the time she was 12, and I thought she was nuts for letting that girl (yes, at 12 mom and dad should be able to veto a swimsuit) go into a hot tub on vacay with 20-30 year old men who thought she was 18-20 and acted accordingly.
 

backslashbaby

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I wore 2-piece suits as a little girl, and one pieces when I got older (*cough* heavier *cough*), but it was never a big deal. I lived in Texas. The only time I can remember anyone even making a fuss about swimsuits was my uncle telling his daughter that he thought her suit was inappropriate for her age. It was exceptionally high cut, especially with her stature, but she'd bought it with her own money and he left it up to her (age 16). In the end, she took it back and got another bikini that was cut different.

On the flip side of that, my cousin's daughter looked 18 from the time she was 12, and I thought she was nuts for letting that girl (yes, at 12 mom and dad should be able to veto a swimsuit) go into a hot tub on vacay with 20-30 year old men who thought she was 18-20 and acted accordingly.

Oh, letting older boys around, having girls literally try to act sexy at young ages -- all that stuff is completely reasonable to put your foot down, imho. Of course, it's reasonable for individual parents to think certain clothes are inappropriate for their own kids.

But to call other folks perverts over a string bikini? Sexuality was considered different than showing skin in these folks' home beaches. I agree and always have. No matter what I wear, keep your thoughts of what that says about me sexually to your damned self. Wearing something does not equal sexual invitations of any sort, at any age. I always figured the folks with perverted thoughts were the perverts.

I knew a Swedish girl in undergrad that folks assumed was a slut because of her short-shorts in fall. Um, no. She was very prim and reserved. Apparently, Swedish folks were just wearing short shorts as a fashion.
 

jennontheisland

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I always figured the folks with perverted thoughts were the perverts.
Exactly. The parents (as well as friends, family, and bystanders who aren't pedophiles) aren't seeing the kids in a sexual frame, the people objecting to the bathing suits are.
 

amyashley

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No matter what I wear, keep your thoughts of what that says about me sexually to your damned self. Wearing something does not equal sexual invitations of any sort, at any age.


Cannot agree more. Also the fact that this is in a different culture is a major factor. Sexuality means different things, SKIN means different things. Respect means everything. It is far more disrespectful of others to be passing judgement out of ignorance than for a young girl to be doing what is natural in her own environment.
 

Silver King

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When my daughter was in her teens, she was quite shy and would have been embarrassed to be seen outdoors in her underwear. But when it came to swimsuits, she'd wear bikinis in public that revealed much more than any bra or panties she'd ever worn up to that time.

I asked her about it once, and she said, "Oh, come on, Dad. Bathing suits are different."

I nodded my head knowingly and made believe I understood what the hell she was talking about.
 

Don

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Agorism FTW!
Amen, sister.

It's funny how those protesting loudest are basically, well, objectifying.
Calling them out on it might work best.

"I don't see anything sexual in that child in the swimsuit. You don't, do you? I mean, if you think that's sexual, maybe I better call somebody and get you some help." ;)
 

kuwisdelu

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Clothes are just clothes. Skin is just skin. People objectify.

(Exceptions made for t-shirts that say "Cum Dumpster".)
 

Opty

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Calling them out on it might work best.

"I don't see anything sexual in that child in the swimsuit. You don't, do you? I mean, if you think that's sexual, maybe I better call somebody and get you some help." ;)
It's the rhetorical equivalent of "whoever smelt it, dealt it."
 

Don

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Agorism FTW!
Clothes are just clothes. Skin is just skin. People objectify.

(Exceptions made for t-shirts that say "Cum Dumpster".)
Yeah, I was thinking about that. Jenn mentioned stiletto high heels combined with the bikini. Some clothes lend themselves more readily to objectification than others.
 

aruna

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When I was a child I would go swimming in cotton undepants, the ugly sort, and nothing else: topless!!!!! Most girls in British Guiana did. It was all perectly innocent. It never occured to me to look sexy or even attractive; I didn't start caring about my looks until I was 14 or 15 and that, IMO, is the way it should be.

I've never shaved my legs. I'm hairless! :) A couple of my friends did, though. I felt sorry for them when it all grew back black and spikey.
 
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LOG

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I haven't visited a public beach in a long time.
My cousins wore string bikinis before they were teens, nothing like PD linked, more like a cross between the two.