Beta Readers/Crit Requests - Page 3

shelleyo · 04-10-2011, 09:27 PM

I need short and sweet advice. I'm going over the galley of Leather, Denim & Silver for editing errors and anomalies, and am supposed to send any mistakes I find by tomorrow.

So far I've only found one technical error, where I had a comma before the and and for some reason the editor put a comma after the and, as well. There are only a few changes I've found, very minor things, though one changes the whole tone of the sentence, and I wish he'd left it alone (and think he should have). But I'm not going to quibble about it.

But one change is driving me nuts. The editor changed "more clever" to "cleverer."

I know it's technically a word, but me putting "more clever" in there was deliberate. Cleverer, along with stupider, sound like shit to me, and so I don't use them. Do you think it's worth mentioning that I'd really prefer it be changed back, or should I just let it go? What would you do? Is it just me who thinks these words look and sound ridiculous? I realize that it may be just me.

Shelley

Smish · 04-10-2011, 09:56 PM

I have no problem with cleverer. I quite like that word, actually.

However, I don't like stupider. To me, the "der" just sounds awful.

So, I'd let it go. But that's me. I don't see any reason why you should not ask that it be changed back, since it's bothering you. You're the writer, and your word choice was deliberate.

shelleyo · 04-10-2011, 10:12 PM

Heh. Der is kind of fitting, giving the definition of the word, isn't it? Stupider rings wrong to my ear, even though it's correct. So does cleverer, but it's probably just me.

I only found two tiny errors to point out--and they do want those pointed out--so I don't think I'd look like a complainer to mention it. I'm not sure if I will. I'm anal about some things, and the word is correct. I may randomly ask several people today if they'd say 'more clever' or 'cleverer' to see if it's just me.

Shelley

soapdish · 04-10-2011, 11:18 PM

If the "cleverer" thing is the only thing you're going to mention, go for it. I think if it's the only request (aside from the actual errors you found) you are making, it won't be a big deal.

It's your work. You are proud of it. You should be able to say how you think it should be. Now, if you rejected all the changes they made, then you'd just be high maintenance.

I like "more clever" better. It's betterer, is what I'm trying to say.

dgaughran · 04-10-2011, 11:30 PM

I hate "cleverer" too. It sounds like a made-up word (even though I know it's not), and if looks even worse on the page than it sounds.

If this is the only change you are going to stand your ground on (and you can defend your position), and you feel strongly about it, then go for it.

Just curious, is this in dialogue?

shelleyo · 04-10-2011, 11:46 PM

Thanks for your input, guys!

Quote:

If this is the only change you are going to stand your ground on (and you can defend your position), and you feel strongly about it, then go for it.

Just curious, is this in dialogue?

No, it's in narration.

Even if I do mention it, I'm not really going to dig my heels in over it. I'll just make it clear I figure it wouldn't hurt to ask, since I strongly prefer "more clever."

Shelley

dgaughran · 04-10-2011, 11:54 PM

This might be a good time for the old feedback sandwich, you know, positive-negative-positive, i.e. "Thanks for your edits, they were amazing they have really made the book smoother and tighter. There's just one teeny-weeny thing I want to change, but beside that, everything is perfect. Good job!"

alexshvartsman · 04-11-2011, 05:18 AM

Shelley,

I think you got it exactly right. Mention to the editor that you intentionally used "more clever" and prefer it that way, but are willing to be flexible if the editor feels strongly about the change.

I've had an edit I disagreed with come up only a couple of times so far. In both cases I sent a short e-mail explaining/defending my original wording and the editors were happy to oblige. No editor ever got upset with me over this (in my admittedly limited experience).

Nathaniel Katz · 04-12-2011, 02:45 AM

If it's important to you, say so. It might be kind of annoying to do so, but it'll be worse staring at "cleverer" every time you open up your story for the next twenty years.

MattJ · 04-12-2011, 07:55 PM

Just out of curiousity, would there be any interest in a W1S1 workshop? I see a lot of the beta reader requests are going via email and the SYW section is pretty dead. Other workshops are slow or dead.

Nathaniel Katz · 04-12-2011, 11:58 PM

I don't really see the point in a separate workshop when one's already established. I'm glad to crit any W1S1 who wants more eyes*, but we can all do that as well as attract others in SYW.

*though I don't know how helpful I'd be outside of SFFH

SmallThing · 04-13-2011, 12:44 AM

I'm not much of a SYW-er, but I'm almost always open to taking a look at things sent to me. Consider this an open invitation to anyone looking for an extra set of eyes for short stuff.

Izz · 04-13-2011, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattJ

Just out of curiousity, would there be any interest in a W1S1 workshop? I see a lot of the beta reader requests are going via email and the SYW section is pretty dead. Other workshops are slow or dead.

Depends what SYW area you're talking. The SFF section is quick-moving, for example.

Aggy B. · 04-13-2011, 09:43 PM

Looking for feedback on a 4k short story. It's posted over in the SF/F SYW - April Challenge: Hail.

It's a rewrite (from the ground up) of a story I first wrote almost three years ago. In addition to needing to edit the hell out of the new one I'm wondering if anyone has any market recommendations. The previous version went to: Clarkesworld, GUD, Weird Tales, Glimmer Train, AGNI, and Boston Review (I think).

I'd be happy to trade off beta-reading something of similar length. (My internet is out at the moment so it may be a few days before I get back to any requests. There's only so long I can sit in my car at Starbucks. :P)

OtterFactory · 04-22-2011, 02:22 AM

Would anyone be willing to beta a 4,664 word literary-ish piece?

Also, I'll be glad to beta someone else if they desire it.

Nathaniel Katz · 04-27-2011, 06:30 AM

I finally finished my revision of Leaving Love and posted it. It's certainly different. Better/more comprehensible? I'm not sure. I'm long past the point where I'm just slashing and burning for its own sake, so I think it's time to let go for a bit.

@OtterFactory, if you need eyes, feel free to send it to me, but be warned that I'm relatively inexperienced with literary fiction, so I might not be that useful. Consider SYW, if you haven't thrown it up there yet.

faerydancer · 06-06-2011, 12:39 AM

Okay, this wasn't a W1S1 story, but I'd like to sub it this month. I love it, I hate it, I'm not sure what to do about it!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...d.php?t=215305

Thanks =)

Izz · 06-07-2011, 03:28 PM

Hopefully i'll have a chance to look at this in the next day or two, Brenda. Can't promise anything, though, just like i can't promise any comments i make will be useful

faerydancer · 06-08-2011, 12:17 AM

Thanks, Izz! Just taking the time to read it is enough for me. =)

AnnieColleen · 06-12-2011, 04:04 AM

One of my May stories posted here, if someone could take a look?

~900 words, speculative/fantasy/something in that direction.

shelleyo · 06-16-2011, 03:51 AM

I have a super shortie posted in the flash crit area, if anyone is so inclined. It's been submitted once, but I was unhappy with it and changed some things, and I'm still not sure it's there. I keep feeling like I should expand it, but I don't want to. Then it feels long and wordy. I worry that it only has meaning and impact inside my own head.

I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts.

Shelley

zanzjan · 06-16-2011, 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelleyo

I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts.

Comments posted over there. Bear in mind that I feel like I've written something super-super-short if it comes in under 6k. (-:

-Suzanne

shelleyo · 06-16-2011, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zanzjan

Comments posted over there. Bear in mind that I feel like I've written something super-super-short if it comes in under 6k. (-:

-Suzanne

Thanks!

Shelley

soapdish · 06-16-2011, 05:46 AM

Commented.

Lillie · 06-16-2011, 05:59 AM

Me too.

04-10-2011, 09:27 PM	#51
shelleyo Just another face in a red jumpsuit Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,661	I need short and sweet advice. I'm going over the galley of Leather, Denim & Silver for editing errors and anomalies, and am supposed to send any mistakes I find by tomorrow. So far I've only found one technical error, where I had a comma before the and and for some reason the editor put a comma after the and, as well. There are only a few changes I've found, very minor things, though one changes the whole tone of the sentence, and I wish he'd left it alone (and think he should have). But I'm not going to quibble about it. But one change is driving me nuts. The editor changed "more clever" to "cleverer." I know it's technically a word, but me putting "more clever" in there was deliberate. Cleverer, along with stupider, sound like shit to me, and so I don't use them. Do you think it's worth mentioning that I'd really prefer it be changed back, or should I just let it go? What would you do? Is it just me who thinks these words look and sound ridiculous? I realize that it may be just me. Shelley __________________ "Now, come on, as you guys get older you'll realize people don't mean to be obnoxious, it's just that they're all screwed up inside." -- Joel, MST3K, Gamera

04-10-2011, 10:12 PM	#53
shelleyo Just another face in a red jumpsuit Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,661	Heh. Der is kind of fitting, giving the definition of the word, isn't it? Stupider rings wrong to my ear, even though it's correct. So does cleverer, but it's probably just me. I only found two tiny errors to point out--and they do want those pointed out--so I don't think I'd look like a complainer to mention it. I'm not sure if I will. I'm anal about some things, and the word is correct. I may randomly ask several people today if they'd say 'more clever' or 'cleverer' to see if it's just me. Shelley __________________ "Now, come on, as you guys get older you'll realize people don't mean to be obnoxious, it's just that they're all screwed up inside." -- Joel, MST3K, Gamera

04-11-2011, 05:18 AM	#58
alexshvartsman Benefactor Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 1,680	Shelley, I think you got it exactly right. Mention to the editor that you intentionally used "more clever" and prefer it that way, but are willing to be flexible if the editor feels strongly about the change. I've had an edit I disagreed with come up only a couple of times so far. In both cases I sent a short e-mail explaining/defending my original wording and the editors were happy to oblige. No editor ever got upset with me over this (in my admittedly limited experience). __________________ Alex Shvartsman Twitter: @AShvartsman Blog: http://www.alexshvartsman.com Bibliography: https://sites.google.com/site/alexsh...nbibliography/

04-12-2011, 02:45 AM	#59
Nathaniel Katz The Evil Hat Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 417	If it's important to you, say so. It might be kind of annoying to do so, but it'll be worse staring at "cleverer" every time you open up your story for the next twenty years. __________________ The Hat Rack: featuring (hopefully) in-depth and (possibly) insightful reviews of fantasy, science fiction, and horror books.

04-12-2011, 07:55 PM	#60
MattJ Publish or Die Trying Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FWB, FL, USA Posts: 279	Just out of curiousity, would there be any interest in a W1S1 workshop? I see a lot of the beta reader requests are going via email and the SYW section is pretty dead. Other workshops are slow or dead. __________________ Matt http://wayofthewriter.blogspot.com/ “Be a lamp unto yourself. Work out your liberation with diligence.” Buddha

04-10-2011, 11:18 PM	#54
soapdish writing Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the portal to the Pacific Posts: 15,773	If the "cleverer" thing is the only thing you're going to mention, go for it. I think if it's the only request (aside from the actual errors you found) you are making, it won't be a big deal. It's your work. You are proud of it. You should be able to say how you think it should be. Now, if you rejected all the changes they made, then you'd just be high maintenance. I like "more clever" better. It's betterer, is what I'm trying to say.

04-10-2011, 11:30 PM	#55
dgaughran Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Stuck in Sweden Posts: 1,259	I hate "cleverer" too. It sounds like a made-up word (even though I know it's not), and if looks even worse on the page than it sounds. If this is the only change you are going to stand your ground on (and you can defend your position), and you feel strongly about it, then go for it. Just curious, is this in dialogue?

04-10-2011, 11:54 PM	#57
dgaughran Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Stuck in Sweden Posts: 1,259	This might be a good time for the old feedback sandwich, you know, positive-negative-positive, i.e. "Thanks for your edits, they were amazing they have really made the book smoother and tighter. There's just one teeny-weeny thing I want to change, but beside that, everything is perfect. Good job!"

04-12-2011, 11:58 PM	#61
Nathaniel Katz The Evil Hat Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 417	I don't really see the point in a separate workshop when one's already established. I'm glad to crit any W1S1 who wants more eyes, but we can all do that as well as attract others in SYW. though I don't know how helpful I'd be outside of SFFH __________________ The Hat Rack: featuring (hopefully) in-depth and (possibly) insightful reviews of fantasy, science fiction, and horror books. Last edited by Nathaniel Katz; 04-13-2011 at 12:01 AM.

04-13-2011, 12:44 AM	#62
SmallThing Eek! Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 230	I'm not much of a SYW-er, but I'm almost always open to taking a look at things sent to me. Consider this an open invitation to anyone looking for an extra set of eyes for short stuff. __________________ http://cosmicdriftwood.wordpress.com/

04-13-2011, 09:43 PM	#64
Aggy B. not as sweet as you think Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: in a chilly place Posts: 5,922	Looking for feedback on a 4k short story. It's posted over in the SF/F SYW - April Challenge: Hail. It's a rewrite (from the ground up) of a story I first wrote almost three years ago. In addition to needing to edit the hell out of the new one I'm wondering if anyone has any market recommendations. The previous version went to: Clarkesworld, GUD, Weird Tales, Glimmer Train, AGNI, and Boston Review (I think). I'd be happy to trade off beta-reading something of similar length. (My internet is out at the moment so it may be a few days before I get back to any requests. There's only so long I can sit in my car at Starbucks. :P) __________________ _________ A.G.C. In-Progress: Miranda Shade and the Hell-heads - YA Southern Gothic Thingbreaker - Steampunk The Gear'd Heart - NA Steampunk (QUERIES SENT - 109, PARTIAL REQUESTS - 3, FULL REQUESTS - 5, REJECTIONS - 61) A.G. Carpenter : updated 3.30.13 @Aggy_C : mostly updates on what I'm writing/eating/cleaning

04-22-2011, 02:22 AM	#65
OtterFactory figuring it all out Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 68	Would anyone be willing to beta a 4,664 word literary-ish piece? Also, I'll be glad to beta someone else if they desire it.

04-27-2011, 06:30 AM	#66
Nathaniel Katz The Evil Hat Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 417	I finally finished my revision of Leaving Love and posted it. It's certainly different. Better/more comprehensible? I'm not sure. I'm long past the point where I'm just slashing and burning for its own sake, so I think it's time to let go for a bit. @OtterFactory, if you need eyes, feel free to send it to me, but be warned that I'm relatively inexperienced with literary fiction, so I might not be that useful. Consider SYW, if you haven't thrown it up there yet. __________________ The Hat Rack: featuring (hopefully) in-depth and (possibly) insightful reviews of fantasy, science fiction, and horror books.

06-06-2011, 12:39 AM	#67
faerydancer practical experience, FTW Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 595	Okay, this wasn't a W1S1 story, but I'd like to sub it this month. I love it, I hate it, I'm not sure what to do about it! http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...d.php?t=215305 Thanks =) __________________ Brenda Stokes Barron The Digital Inkwell Twitter ----- Little Brother - Bards & Sages Quarterly - January 2012 The Bachorum Principle - Fantastique Unfettered - December 2011 Maribelle Remembers Ice - Niteblade - September 2011

06-07-2011, 03:28 PM	#68
Izz Rejectioneer AW Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NZ Posts: 5,367	Hopefully i'll have a chance to look at this in the next day or two, Brenda. Can't promise anything, though, just like i can't promise any comments i make will be useful __________________ Blog Twitter Amazon Author Page Facebook Author Page Links to Published Short Fiction

06-08-2011, 12:17 AM	#69
faerydancer practical experience, FTW Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 595	Thanks, Izz! Just taking the time to read it is enough for me. =) __________________ Brenda Stokes Barron The Digital Inkwell Twitter ----- Little Brother - Bards & Sages Quarterly - January 2012 The Bachorum Principle - Fantastique Unfettered - December 2011 Maribelle Remembers Ice - Niteblade - September 2011

06-12-2011, 04:04 AM	#70
AnnieColleen Re-NaNoing Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 3,633	One of my May stories posted here, if someone could take a look? ~900 words, speculative/fantasy/something in that direction. __________________ Under the patronage of Murphy the Muse When writing a novel that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: "House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day." ~Neil Gaiman

06-16-2011, 03:51 AM	#71
shelleyo Just another face in a red jumpsuit Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,661	I have a super shortie posted in the flash crit area, if anyone is so inclined. It's been submitted once, but I was unhappy with it and changed some things, and I'm still not sure it's there. I keep feeling like I should expand it, but I don't want to. Then it feels long and wordy. I worry that it only has meaning and impact inside my own head. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts. Shelley __________________ "Now, come on, as you guys get older you'll realize people don't mean to be obnoxious, it's just that they're all screwed up inside." -- Joel, MST3K, Gamera Last edited by shelleyo; 06-16-2011 at 03:55 AM.

06-16-2011, 05:46 AM	#74
soapdish writing Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the portal to the Pacific Posts: 15,773	Commented.

06-16-2011, 05:59 AM	#75
Lillie practical experience, FTW Official AW W1S1 Badge Wrangler Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Wales Posts: 1,586	Me too. __________________ Published stories Most recent publications Far From Shore at Bent Masses Heads you Win at Comets and Criminals Blood and Water at Every Day Fiction The random blog of randomness http://lydiasgray.blogspot.com/

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