Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

[lisalulu09]

Tally, I'm thinking of taking another leaf out of your book and doing a mock query in my notebook for TFL. Tips?

[Thalia]

Well, credit for me knowing this goes to katiemac.

First paragraph, tell us what your protagonist wants. Make it concrete. Something tangible.

Second paragraph, tell us what your protagonist must do to get that. Again, something specific. Instead of "prove his worth", "run up the mountain, kill a dragon and save the damsel in distress." Also, give us the stakes.

Get a bit of voice, but not too much. Don't start at the beginning of the novel, start at the beginning of the plot. Keep it tight. Make us care.

[Horserider]

Tally has good query advice.

[Parametric]

And good queries!

[Thalia]

-blushes-

[lisalulu09]

OK. I'll try and write it later (bit difficult at the moment -- on the sofa; laptop; notebook = not enough space sometimes -- and I'll see how I go.

ETA: Does anyone have any suggestions for contempary Cinderella retellings?

[Thalia]

Well, there's all the Cinderella Story movies.

I'm sure there are others, but I'm in class.

[Taylor_Writes]

Hello everybody.

[lisalulu09]

Hello, TayTay.

[Taylor_Writes]

Heheh. My nickname

[lisalulu09]

I think I'm writing a synopsis and not a query. Oh well.

[Thalia]

The point of writing a mock query before writing a book is to figure out the emotional tension, the stakes, the story arc, the climax, etc. For example:

Twelve-year-old Harmony walked into the town of Zabeth with no memory of who she was, where she came from, or how she ended up there. But that doesn't last very long. A spark of elemental magic tips off the village that she's Princess Sadie, the last member of the Draconi Empire who has been missing since the Empire fell-- the day she arrived in Zabeth.

Now, all she wants is to free the dragon gods and take the land back from Lord Khror. But when he offers to give her back all her memories in exchange for her surrender, she's not sure what she wants-- or rather, what she should want.

THE LAST DRACONI is a MG Fantasy. This is a crappy mock query that I put together right here 'cause I'm avoiding homework. Thanks for reading.

My nanowrimo craptastic mock query.

It would never, ever go out to an agent. I was actually just writing a summary for someone when it turned into this. But here's the thing:

I now know that at the start of my novel, Harmony knows nothing-- but that it doesn't last for very long. I know that, in the time she doesn't have any idea who she is, I have to set up the understanding that elemental magic is unique to the royal family, and that the princess disappeared. I have to set up the Empire's fall and how it was received, and what the new regime is like. And I have to do so in the first 15k or less, while still creating tension.

I need to set up the mythology of the dragons, leaving little hints from the beginning. I have the advantage of having a narrator who doesn't know anything more than the reader does, but I cannot use that as an excuse to infodump.

I have to make it clear from the beginning of the book that what Harmony wants more than anything isn't even to have a family-- it's just to remember them. I have to make the fact that this little girl wants nothing more than to remember being loved as heartbreaking as it is. And so when Khror shows up to offer the memories, the reader has to know without a word of explanation from me how desperately Harmony wants them and how torn she is.

[lisalulu09]

It just ... turned into a synopsis. XD

[Horserider]

Originally Posted by lisalulu09

It just ... turned into a synopsis. XD

I wish my queries would do that. I hate synopses.

[lisalulu09]

I... suck a queries. Lol.

[Elysium]

Hey everyone!

I just came up with yet another idea for NaNo. Ack...I can't stop coming up with ideas!

[lvae]

A synopsis might be better at this point. I usually work better with one though I'm winging it now. I've past the 30k mark!!!!
I actually really liked Another Cinderella Story. The male lead was really charismatic IMO. He should be in more things.

[lisalulu09]

What's this idea?

Has anyone heard of the band ALL TIME LOW? One of their songs gave me the name for my MC and the LI. Now I need some more names for the 'Barbie Brigade' and the best friend.

[Elysium]

lisa - Well, I was listening to Coldplay's latest song "Princess of China" and then bam...this idea for a sorta spy, international thriller story hit me.

It's basically about a girl who goes through life "invisible". She has this software installed in her brain that makes it hard for people to pay much attention to her. So she can easily rob grocery stores and malls without anyone noticing her and she can sit in a classroom without the teacher or other students knowing she's there. Then one day a boy follows her back to her "hideout" and...stuff happens.

Haha. That's all I have for now.

[lisalulu09]

O.o Write it.

If you want, I could post the synopsis up for TFL when I finish it?

[Thalia]

What are those names, Lisa?

[lisalulu09]

Maria and Alex (I've wanted to use this name for ages, but there's an emotional attachment to it, for personal reasons).

I like your name. Can I steal it for the best friend?

[Thalia]

You want to call the BFF Tally, or Thalia?

[lisalulu09]

Tally. :3 I dunno why, but I like it.

[Thalia]

'kay. -is flattered-