Character Descriptions....when and how much?

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SeanDSchaffer

I have just finished a Second Draft to my present Work-in-Progress, and am just about ready to start on my Third Draft. But I've hit a little bump in the road that I don't really know how to handle.

My question has to do with Character Descriptions. Whereabouts in my story should I place them? Should I put the Character Descriptions right where the character is introduced, or should I spread the description out over a period of time? Or, should I do it all at once in a place other than the Character's introduction to the story?

Also, how much Character Description should I give? Obviously, if I give too much, it might be looked upon as shameless padding; but if I give too little, I'm afraid readers will wonder just what the Characters look like. I need to figure out what would make a good 'middle ground' in the Character Description department, so that I can get the right description into my work. But I'm afraid I don't know what that 'Middle Ground' would consist of.


Does anyone have any suggestions? What should I do in the case of Character Description, to make the work not only better and longer, but also to make it a comfortable description for the reader. Something that will describe well, without boring the reader to tears is what I'm looking for.


Thank you all in advance for your answers.

:)
 
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Hmm, I'm not actually that keen on descriptions myself, and I assume you mean physical descriptions? Even if your book is told in third person, the POV character wouldn't, for instance, run their hand through their blond hair or pick their aquiline nose...describing them this way seems clunky. I mean, you don't do the same things and think, while running your hand through your hair, "Ooh, it feels so blond today," do you?

I gave a WIP to someone once and he complained that I hadn't told him what the characters looked like. My reply? "You're the reader. You don't expect me to do all your thinking for you, do you?" He said, "Good point. I never thought of it like that. It frees me up to imagine whatever sort of face I choose when you don't give me all the tiny details of what someone looks like."

My advice would be to slip in the odd detail if it sounds natural or if the point-of-view character would be thinking in such detail. For instance, instead of saying, "Her eyes were blue," you could make a comment about her considering buying coloured contact lenses; she was bored with blue and wanted to know what she looked like with green eyes. That's just a very clunky example.

One thing I wouldn't advise is describing the character straight off, as soon as they appear. There's too much danger of this reading like an info-dump.

Oh, and please, please, please, NEVER have the MC look in a mirror and describe themselves. Who in the hell does this in real life? I made the mistake of reading a Barbara Taylor Bradford book recently where a character did this and...oh. My. God. All I can say is Act of Will, the beginning of chapter 31. Read at your peril. (Actually please do. It's a lesson in how not to do it).
 

Celia Cyanide

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Personally, I prefer too little information. I don't wonder what the characters look like. I imagine them myself. I think most readers appreciate being able to do this, and are quite capable of it. Sometimes, the character reminds them of someone they know, and they can imagine them that way. There are some times when you just have to tell people exactly what the person looks like, but I think you, as a writer, will know when that is. For example, when other people are going to be reacting to the person's appearance. You have to establish that the person is attractive, funny looking, or what ever s/he is. And you want to show, and not tell. Other then that, if you give me hair color and height, I can imagine the rest.
 
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Plus, of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I hate it when an author tells me someone is attractive. SHOW ME another developing an attraction to her/him and I'll know that person finds them attractive, just don't tell me I would, too.
 

SeanDSchaffer

Thank you both for your advice. I really do appreciate it. You actually reminded me of how I used to write when I did Wyverinia Chronicles. And you have both brought back to me the need to tell the story and not fill up three or four pages at a time with information most readers probably will never need to know.

I am very thankful to you all for explaining this to me.

I guess part of my problem earlier tonight was wanting to fill up space in a novel that is only 162 pages long. In truth, I've found maybe five places where serious description can be comfortably given, but I think I've been so busy trying to fill up space that, for a moment, I was not concerned so much with the story as with its length.

And that's just not the way I should do things.

So, thank you all kindly for the advice and I will definitely take it. No matter how long or how short the story is, what matters is that it be told right.


Thanks again.

:)
 
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Think of all the short novels that 'work' that way - Catcher In The Rye, Brave New World...even Animal Farm is about ninety-something pages long. Some novels are small but perfectly formed.
 

SeanDSchaffer

scarletpeaches said:
Think of all the short novels that 'work' that way - Catcher In The Rye, Brave New World...even Animal Farm is about ninety-something pages long. Some novels are small but perfectly formed.


Excellent point. I had forgotten about those books. I've never read Catcher in the Rye or Brave New World, but when I was in Junior High School, Animal Farm was an assignment I had to do, and I still have a copy of that book. It's an old paperback by Signet Classics. It's old, too. The price on it its cover is $1.25. Heck, you can't buy a comic book for that kind of money, anymore.

I just looked inside, and it's 128 pages....easily shorter than my so-far 162.

You're right, scarletpeaches. I guess I was trying to get length instead of quality with a Third Draft, and the book was already pretty much ready. (I do have a few descriptions that will be necessary for the work, and I have to properly tie the ends together in the Epilogue, but otherwise, the book is pretty much as it should be.) This is hard for me to believe, as I've only finished the Second Draft and am beginning work this morning on a Third.

At least I can safely say this book won't take me 17 years to finish.:Clap:
 
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See? When a woman tells you size is not important, she really means it. :D

*Snort*

Sorry...couldn't resist.
 

loquax

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I remember reading Z for Zachariah in school. It's written in first person, and you don't even find out the narrator's gender.
 

maestrowork

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It really depends on your writing style and POVs, etc. I'd say if the information (trivial things such as hair color) is pertinent (e.g. the character has red hair and it's important to the story), then you should give that information as early as possible. The character's race should also be given early on. Other than that, I think you just need to decide when the readers need to know that stuff. Obviously, you don't the readers to wait 200 pages to find out the character is Chinese. But it might be okay if you wait until page 135 to tell us he has a large... thumb because that information is not needed until then (and it won't really matter to the readers).

There are many clever ways to describe the characters without stopping the story. I've covered some of these techniques in my writer's blog.
 

maestrowork

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loquax said:
I remember reading Z for Zachariah in school. It's written in first person, and you don't even find out the narrator's gender.

I would probably throw that book away... I hate that.
 

Linda Adams

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One of the things I try is to bring a little bit of the character's personality into the description--not so much a statistical description of height and weight and whatnot, but something in the description that makes that character uniquely them. It can even be a part of the story itself, depending on how you do it. In some of Laurell K. Hamilton's books, part of Anita Blake's description is that she is short--which comes back into the story again and again through remarks other characters make ("I thought you were bigger") or about how much of a disadvantage it gives her against the bad guys.

Sue Grafton is another author who has some striking descriptions of characters through the eyes of the POV character. She uses a few sentences and shows what the POV character sees about the character in that ten second assessment.
 

SeanDSchaffer

Linda Adams said:
One of the things I try is to bring a little bit of the character's personality into the description--not so much a statistical description of height and weight and whatnot, but something in the description that makes that character uniquely them. It can even be a part of the story itself, depending on how you do it. In some of Laurell K. Hamilton's books, part of Anita Blake's description is that she is short--which comes back into the story again and again through remarks other characters make ("I thought you were bigger") or about how much of a disadvantage it gives her against the bad guys.

Sue Grafton is another author who has some striking descriptions of characters through the eyes of the POV character. She uses a few sentences and shows what the POV character sees about the character in that ten second assessment.



That's a cool idea! I hadn't actually thought about it before.

One of my Main Characters does have an eyesight problem, and thus wears wire-rimmed spectacles, but I hadn't really taken up such an idea before, other than that one example.

I suppose if I did more of these little things, that would make the story more believable, and at the same time more entertaining. I know I would enjoy the read more with little distinct details that only have to do with one character at a time.

Let me ask, if I may: what about the idea of using those little distinct details as the only real description (aside from gender, maybe, and things like that) of the characters throughout the work? I know a previous poster said something about 'info-dumps' and things of that nature. I most certainly don't want to spend three to four pages telling the reader such-and-such character's description. Would the idea of using a single--or maybe a couple--of descriptive notes for each character be an idea I should possibly think about? To give the characters each a flavor of their own, if I may use that term.
 

jules

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Yes. This is exactly what I do, and it seems to work. Certainly I've never had comments about lack of description from people who've read my work.
 

Ken Schneider

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Good or bad, here is a discription of one character in my WIP that I just wrote yesterday.

::::
"Tem Ferrol, come forward," the man said. Tem moved from the far end of the table keeping his eyes on the man who called him. He looked to Tem to be a Norseman rather than the majority assembled who were wafer thin like Wel Renner, the wing rider. He was a husky, and broad- shouldered, with a great fat belly that pushed against his feather adorned leather shirt. He stood head and shoulders above everyone in the room. Tem sized him up as he moved closer. The man had to be close to seven feet tall. His dusty white beard was cropped close to his chin, and long golden hair with gray streaks running through it clung to his forehead. The ale sloshing had matted it down over one eye making him look even more ominous.
 

Paint

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Well great! Now I have to rewrite some things that are cliche. (I read Rays blog on character descriptions.)

Please give me your opinion on this. This dog did not know she was a dog so...

Zoe ran over to a little puddle on the ground for a drink of cool water. Glimpsing her reflection in the water, she sat down in amazement. Wow!



She was a puppy, a cute puppy at that! White fur and dark brown eyes looked back at her. She put her paw in the cool water, that was nice, she liked the feel of water

Is it too cliche?
Paint
 

Linda Adams

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SeanDSchaffer said:
Let me ask, if I may: what about the idea of using those little distinct details as the only real description (aside from gender, maybe, and things like that) of the characters throughout the work?

I actually tried it that way, and honestly, I think the reader needs an up front description of some kind first. Orienting the readers to the character, if you will. I have seen books where the writer only uses little details, I form the picture of the character in my head from those details, and then suddenly get jarred out of the story when another one pops up that contradicts the image I've created (i.e., on page 200, the author provides the character's hair color).

SeanDSchaffer said:
I know a previous poster said something about 'info-dumps' and things of that nature. I most certainly don't want to spend three to four pages telling the reader such-and-such character's description.

The reader would certainly be yawning after three or four pages of character description. To avoid sounding info-dumpish, just keep it to a short paragraph of a few sentences. Prioritize. Your main character should get more detail than a waitress we see once in Chapter 4 and then never again. Giving one short line of description to her is enough to orient the reader without making them think that the character is important enough to pay attention to.

Things to avoid:
Statistical descriptions that all sound the same or like you're just reporting the facts. I just read something where I think the writer must have had a checklist to make sure he got each detail for each character. Height--Check. Weight--Check? Hair color?--Check.

The already mentioned a character looking in the mirror to describe themselves. Another variation on this is a character assessing their own appearance.
The essence of all this is make the description work for you as important element that is essential to building the story and the characters.
 

jules

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Paint said:
Please give me your opinion on this. This dog did not know she was a dog so...

Zoe ran over to a little puddle on the ground for a drink of cool water. Glimpsing her reflection in the water, she sat down in amazement. Wow!

She was a puppy, a cute puppy at that! White fur and dark brown eyes looked back at her. She put her paw in the cool water, that was nice, she liked the feel of water

That sounds fine to me. Subjects of recent physical transformations are, I think, the most important exception to the "no looking in a mirror and describing yourself" rule.
 

jules

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Linda Adams said:
I have seen books where the writer only uses little details, I form the picture of the character in my head from those details, and then suddenly get jarred out of the story when another one pops up that contradicts the image I've created (i.e., on page 200, the author provides the character's hair color).

That's an important point -- if you're going to describe, do it early. If you decide just to make an impression with small details then stick rigidly to those, and introduce them as soon as you can.
 

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Hmm. My character is looking in a basin of water when I describe her, but really she's wondering how she's seen by others. Since she's not human, nor a typical fantasy race (ie. elf, dwarf, orc, troll, gnome, etc.), I think the description is necessary for the reader, either of herself or another one of her race. But she knows the rest of her race so well, she's not going to be going, "Oh, Melpomene has purple mixed w/ the green in her hair." Since part of her characterization (& the plot) depends on her being infatuated w/ another character who is still unused to the different races of her world, looking at herself while wondering what he sees makes sense to me (she also thinks about what the older ppl of her race see (a child) & what one specific older person sees (her past)). Does it make sense to you guys?
 

Vincent

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I thought the protagonist in Z for Zachariah was female? Perhaps i just assumed, it has been a years since i read it.
 

loquax

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Beezle - she is, but IIRC this information only is only in the blurb :)
 

SC Harrison

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I think there should be a few basic items of physical description revealed when a (primary) character is introduced, but only enough to trigger the reader to visualize a person.

Hair color (for some reason) is important. Maybe because it's at the top? Red hair and freckles, brown with a touch of grey, etc.

If a character is extremely one of the following: short, tall, fat or skinny, it should be noted. If no size description is given, the reader will (probably) assume they're "average", whatever that means.

If a character dresses up (suits) or down (ratty jeans) regularly, it should be mentioned at the beginning, and then left alone. I'm not putting it down, but some chick-lit drives me crazy when every piece of clothing or dab of makeup is described.

Shoes...okay, forget about the shoes. Unless somebody is wearing knee-high, spike-studded, Gene-Simmons-from-KISS-looking boots, or maybe Jesus sandals, shoes are not really important, imho.
 

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Here's one of mine:


"Friends and comrades, men of the Selgovae ...." Talorcan's clear voice sounded over the camp and everyone turned towards him. The long, belted leather mantle of his rank made his appearance even more impressive as he stood in the flaring shine of the torch before the now midnight blue sky.

"Hunters we are, our name says it, but now we hunt a game more noble than deer ...."

Cailthearn only half listened to Talorcan's speech, regarding him instead; and the image of the handsome youth with his open smile carved into his memory mingled with the man standing on the knoll, his sensual lips now too often pressed together in a tight line over his goatee.

The wind drove a strand of his shoulder-long auburn hair across his face and Talorcan stroke it back with his left hand. He helt his sword aloft in his right. "This blade, the shining heirlom of my father Ferac, is dull now, dulled by the blood of Romans, and never again shall it shine as long as a single one of the hated invaders still puts a foot on the land of our forefathers!"

The voice of a bard, Cailthearn thought, yet Talorcan never had sung since the fatal night that saw the death of his parents.

"Death to the Romans!"

A chorus of voices howled among the trees. "Death to the Romans!"


I've before mentioned that Talorcan is tall, and I'll sneak the eye colour in somewhere later, maybe another detail like the scars from torture - if there's a place where it works.

 
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maestrowork

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Let's see...

Hair color (for some reason) is important. Maybe because it's at the top? Red hair and freckles, brown with a touch of grey, etc.

Why? Are they important, and in what way? I can see dark hair with a touch of gray or bright red hair as interesting characteristics. But not if the person has chestnut brown hair. *yawn* Seriously, it's better to let your readers imagine based on your "characterization (dialogue, action, etc.)." It's more interesting that way. Besides, it doesn't matter in the long run -- if your characters are vivid enough, your readers will cast them in their own minds anyway.


If a character is extremely one of the following: short, tall, fat or skinny, it should be noted. If no size description is given, the reader will (probably) assume they're "average", whatever that means.

Any unusual characteristics should be noted, yes. But if the character is average or "normal" then don't even mention it.


If a character dresses up (suits) or down (ratty jeans) regularly, it should be mentioned at the beginning, and then left alone. I'm not putting it down, but some chick-lit drives me crazy when every piece of clothing or dab of makeup is described.

Going overboard with how the character dresses, especially mentioning every brand name there is, is a bad idea. Give enough info to allow the readers to draw their own images (a homeless person? a redneck? a sophisticated socialite?) and leave the rest.

As with any other types of description, less sometimes really is more. The point is to let the readers' imagination take over and fill in the blanks. Give them enough to identify the characters or scene, but not too much to bore them.

Descriptions should be part of your characterization. For example:

"I sat on my father's lap, as if I was sitting on a pair of tree trunks. I felt safe." --
this not only describes the father character, but also characterizes both the narrator and his father and the relationship between them.
 
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