how do you punctuate this?

Mustafa · May 18, 2012

How do you punctuate a sentence with multiple quotes? Must each quote have it's own sentence, or can I link them? For example:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "what's he doing here," and "what a loser," and "get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say, "I hate that guy."

ETA: OR this example:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "I hate that guy," "he's a real douche," and "I'll kill 'em."

If I can link them, does each quote still start with a cap? This feels like a really basic question, but no matter how I write it, it doesn't look right and I can't find the answer.

Thanks

Ses · May 18, 2012

Mustafa said:
I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "what's he doing here," and "what a loser," and "get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say, "I hate that guy."

So I think I'm wrong, but I couldn't find any good place to research this question. This is how I would do it though:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like "what's he doing here" and "what a loser" and get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say, "I hate that guy."

An argument, I think, could be made to place the period in the first sentence after the last quote tag as opposed to inside the quote mark which leads me into your next example sentence:

Mustafa said:
I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "I hate that guy," "he's a real douche," and "I'll kill 'em."

I walked into the room and people shouted things like "I hate that guy", "he's a real douche", and "I'll kill 'em".

Again though, I am not positive if I am correct on this. And lastly, why don't you actually just write these scenes out?

Once! · May 18, 2012

Hmm. Not entirely sure. As a general rule, a new piece of speech by a different character deserves a new paragraph. Listing several bits of speech in the same sentence seems a bit distant.

As soon as I walked into a room, they started shouting at me.

"I hate that guy."

"he's a real douche"

"I'll kill 'em."

"Hey! Why are you all picking on me?" I asked.

Stijn Hommes · May 19, 2012

I walked into the room and people shouted things like "What's he doing here?" and "What a loser." and "Get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say "I hate that guy."

Each of these sentences the people are shouting are a sentence of their own and not connected to any of the others (which would require the commas I cut out). You could replace the highlighted "and" with a comma to turn it into a list that flows a tiny bit better.

Architectus · May 19, 2012

I don't see any grammatical reason why you can't write it all in one sentence, but cap each quote that is a full sentence.

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "What's he doing here?" and "What a loser," and "Get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say, "I hate that guy."

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "I hate that guy," "He's a real douche," and "I'll kill 'em."

Mustafa · May 19, 2012

Thanks guys

triceretops · May 19, 2012

Once! said:
Hmm. Not entirely sure. As a general rule, a new piece of speech by a different character deserves a new paragraph. Listing several bits of speech in the same sentence seems a bit distant.

As soon as I walked into a room, they started shouting at me.

"I hate that guy."

"he's a real douche"

"I'll kill 'em."

"Hey! Why are you all picking on me?" I asked.

I've always handled it like the above example, sometimes with some generic dialogue tags. But it could be written in one sentence, I'm sure.

pyrosama · May 19, 2012

I walked into the room and people shouted rude things. I drank it in one by one.

"What's he doing here?"

Another voice chimed in, "Get that guy out of here!"

Then from the back of the room, "What a loser."

I finally reached my destination which was punctuated by one last nasty comment, "I hate that guy."

Ses · May 19, 2012

Here's a monkey wrench too:

You only use dialogue tags with direct quotes, and the examples provided do not seem to be direct quotes as it is written:

"...shouted things like..."

HoneyBadger · May 19, 2012

Oh man, naptime.

Uh, advice, advice...

WWJCD

What would Joseph Conrad do?

VoireyLinger · May 19, 2012

If direct quotes from multiple people fall in the same sentence, it would be handled much like multiple quotes from one speaker. Your examples would read:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, "What's he doing here," and "What a loser," and "Get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say, "I hate that guy."

You had punctuation correct, but you did not capitalize properly.

An alternative which would make it easier to read, since you are not identifying direct speakers:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like, I hate that guy, he's a real douche, and I'll kill 'em.

augusto · May 19, 2012

VoireyLinger said:
I walked into the room and people shouted things like, I hate that guy, he's a real douche, and I'll kill 'em.

I was about to suggest this. Though with proper italics:
I walked into the room and people shouted things like, I hate that guy, he's a real douche, and I'll kill 'em.

Ses · May 19, 2012

In academic writing, it would read like this:

I walked into the room and people shouted things like "I hate that guy", "He's a real douche", and "I'll kill 'em."

I appreciate the idea behind removing the quote marks and putting the phrases in italics though. And since it is fiction--not academic writing--grammar can be used to your advantage as opposed to an absolute straight jacket you are forced into using.

So do what is most clear.

Mee_sa · May 20, 2012

Wow, I never would have known how to correctly write a sentence like that. Glad I found this site when I did, I am learning with each new thread I read.

amichan · May 29, 2012

pyrosama said:
I walked into the room and people shouted rude things. I drank it in one by one.

"What's he doing here?"

Another voice chimed in, "Get that guy out of here!"

Then from the back of the room, "What a loser."

I finally reached my destination which was punctuated by one last nasty comment, "I hate that guy."

But that's kind of a cop-out, changing the sentences to avoid wrestling with grammatical rules.

It also doesn't give the sense of urgency, of several people talking at once.

Your version is certainly appropriate for a situation in which people are speaking more slowly. However, Architectus' version faces the punctuation issue head-on, while conveying the same pace as what OP had written.

Susan Coffin · May 29, 2012

Once! said:
Hmm. Not entirely sure. As a general rule, a new piece of speech by a different character deserves a new paragraph. Listing several bits of speech in the same sentence seems a bit distant.

As soon as I walked into a room, they started shouting at me.

"I hate that guy."

"he's a real douche"

"I'll kill 'em."

"Hey! Why are you all picking on me?" I asked.

This.

alexaherself · May 29, 2012

Mustafa said:
I walked into the room and people shouted things like ...

I think the reader needs to know what people shouted, rather than what the things people shouted were like.

Once! said:
As soon as I walked into a room, they started shouting at me.

"I hate that guy."

"he's a real douche"

"I'll kill 'em."

"Hey! Why are you all picking on me?" I asked.

Yes indeed - definitely this.

Mustafa · May 29, 2012

Susan Littlefield said:
This.

alexaherself said:
I think the reader needs to know what people shouted, rather than what the things people shouted were like.

Yes indeed - definitely this.

Except that has more to do with formatting a scene for how you might think it's being played out and not anything to do with punctuation.

As it is, the scene is such that the narrator is telling his friend, after the fact, what happened when he walked into the room.

alexaherself · May 29, 2012

Mustafa said:
Except that has more to do with formatting a scene for how you might think it's being played out and not anything to do with punctuation.

Yes - fair comment.

I would punctuate it by omitting the commas after the words "like" and "say", starting each quotation with an upper case letter, including a question-mark after the question, omitting the "and" between all but the last two examples and avoiding the Oxford comma.

I walked into the room and people shouted things like "What's he doing here?", "What a loser" and "Get that guy out of here." I even heard a few people say "I hate that guy."

how do you punctuate this?

Mustafa

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin

Ses

Once!

Still confused by shoelaces

Stijn Hommes

Know what you write...

Architectus

Mustafa

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin

triceretops

pyrosama

Pyrosama

Ses

HoneyBadger

terribly loud, emotionally distant

VoireyLinger

Angel Wing Fetish

augusto

Ses

Mee_sa

amichan

Susan Coffin

Tell it like it Is

alexaherself

Wordsmith and shoechick

Mustafa

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin

alexaherself

Wordsmith and shoechick