Flashbacks/thoughts

A_Napp · 07-04-2012, 06:23 PM

Hi my fellow writers,

I write about a man who has some mental problems due to isolation confinement. He has trouble to "stay in reality" and switches back into different times of his old life or the ordeals endured in prison.

Sometimes I indicate "he remembered" or that the surroundings seem to change. But more often I just put the flashbacks/thoughts in italics.

Is that enough or would that confuse the reader?
The scenes look like that: (please overlook ANY language mistakes, it will be proofread after it is finished

)

Leffler grabbed him, ripped him against the back of his chair. “So you need a little wakeup call?!” A fast and harsh kick into his stomach followed. Rahim doubled over and gasped for air.
“You can either talk or croak!” It wasn’t Leffler’s voice anymore; and it wasn’t the interrogation room at Whitehill they were in, either. It was a metal barred cell, the dirty concrete floor already smeared with blood and other body fluids, when the punch hit and Rahim stumbled to the ground again. The blood splatters multiplied and blurred in front of his view. Coughing and rattling, the blood hammering in his ears, Rahim prepared for the next hit. But it was quite another pain that suddenly jolted through his body. He wasn’t able to do anything anymore but moan.

BigWords · 07-04-2012, 07:40 PM

You may find that large chunks of italics make the text harder for some readers to go through - if you can avoid doing it that way, by perhaps indicating a break, or jumping to a new chapter, it can avoid readers getting eye strain.

Susan Littlefield · 07-04-2012, 08:34 PM

I'm not confused. The poor man is having a flashback. Bless his heart.

However, I do think the italics (and no space in between paragraphs) take away from the piece.

Really, the italics can go, because pretty soon you will seamlessly lead us back into the interrogation room.

rwm4768 · 07-04-2012, 10:55 PM

Some italics are fine, but they can get annoying after a while. I would consider using a line break to separate the flashbacks from the current narration. You can even mention that he's recalling something, which should make the italics unnecessary.

ladybritches · 07-04-2012, 11:33 PM

I don't think you need the italics, because you tell us it's a flashback. I didn't think it was hard to follow at all.

Kalea · 07-04-2012, 11:38 PM

I agree with everyone else. It's not confusing, but if these flashbacks are occurring regularly, I would choose something other than italics.

A_Napp · 07-05-2012, 01:18 PM

thank you for the feedback!

Yes, relatively many flashbacks.... Sometimes I indicate that by "he remembers" or something similar, but that takes a bit of the flow. (I think). Its just a different thing if someone just sits and remembers the past, or if he really is ripped back and can discern the realities anymore.

So what about an empty line in between? I guess it's what you suggest with line break.

That way:

Present time story.

Flashback story.

I could also use a "-" in front, when I change time and place.

Nekko · 07-19-2012, 10:30 PM

In addition to line breaks and separate chapters I've been playing with using a different font when my story goes back to the past. It might be easier on the reader's eyes than italics.

07-04-2012, 06:23 PM	#1
A_Napp practical experience, FTW Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 131	Flashbacks/thoughts Hi my fellow writers, I write about a man who has some mental problems due to isolation confinement. He has trouble to "stay in reality" and switches back into different times of his old life or the ordeals endured in prison. Sometimes I indicate "he remembered" or that the surroundings seem to change. But more often I just put the flashbacks/thoughts in italics. Is that enough or would that confuse the reader? The scenes look like that: (please overlook ANY language mistakes, it will be proofread after it is finished ) Leffler grabbed him, ripped him against the back of his chair. “So you need a little wakeup call?!” A fast and harsh kick into his stomach followed. Rahim doubled over and gasped for air. “You can either talk or croak!” It wasn’t Leffler’s voice anymore; and it wasn’t the interrogation room at Whitehill they were in, either. It was a metal barred cell, the dirty concrete floor already smeared with blood and other body fluids, when the punch hit and Rahim stumbled to the ground again. The blood splatters multiplied and blurred in front of his view. Coughing and rattling, the blood hammering in his ears, Rahim prepared for the next hit. But it was quite another pain that suddenly jolted through his body. He wasn’t able to do anything anymore but moan.

07-04-2012, 08:34 PM	#3
Susan Littlefield Tell it like it Is Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: With my cats Posts: 7,483	I'm not confused. The poor man is having a flashback. Bless his heart. However, I do think the italics (and no space in between paragraphs) take away from the piece. Really, the italics can go, because pretty soon you will seamlessly lead us back into the interrogation room. __________________ Susan Please visit my website: http://www.susanlittlefield.blogspot.com/

07-04-2012, 10:55 PM	#4
rwm4768 practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,458	Some italics are fine, but they can get annoying after a while. I would consider using a line break to separate the flashbacks from the current narration. You can even mention that he's recalling something, which should make the italics unnecessary. __________________ My writing blog: http://ryanmuellerwriting.blogspot.com/ WIP: The Man in the Crystal Prison (Upper MG Contemporary Fantasy): 66K Revising and Editing White Fire (Epic Fantasy): 114K Revising and Editing.

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07-04-2012, 11:33 PM	#5
ladybritches late to the party Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 450	I don't think you need the italics, because you tell us it's a flashback. I didn't think it was hard to follow at all.

07-04-2012, 11:38 PM	#6
Kalea volcanoes melt you down Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Tennessee Posts: 114	I agree with everyone else. It's not confusing, but if these flashbacks are occurring regularly, I would choose something other than italics.

07-05-2012, 01:18 PM	#7
A_Napp practical experience, FTW Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 131	thank you for the feedback! Yes, relatively many flashbacks.... Sometimes I indicate that by "he remembers" or something similar, but that takes a bit of the flow. (I think). Its just a different thing if someone just sits and remembers the past, or if he really is ripped back and can discern the realities anymore. So what about an empty line in between? I guess it's what you suggest with line break. That way: Present time story. Flashback story. I could also use a "-" in front, when I change time and place.

07-19-2012, 10:30 PM	#8
Nekko New motto: more purr, less hiss Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Northern CA in the woods with the bears Posts: 707	In addition to line breaks and separate chapters I've been playing with using a different font when my story goes back to the past. It might be easier on the reader's eyes than italics.