Show don't tell - understanding this grand principle

I'm no expert, but I stumbled across this article while searching for something else, so I thought I'd post it. I'm sure more experienced authors here can fill you in, too. I pulled this from Suite 101:

By Florence U. Cardinal

Draw pictures with your words. Let the reader see what's happening. Show. Don't tell. Excellent advice for both beginning writers and for pros. But how is it done?



Don't tell us Sharon is pretty(this is telling) or Tommy is clumsy (and so is this). When describing your characters, let us see them so we can decide for ourselves.

EXAMPLE #1: Sharon tossed her head and her long dark hair draped over her shoulders like a cape. She smiled and her brown eyes twinkled. Her face shone with an inner glow.

EXAMPLE #2: Tommy hurried along the street whistling a happy tune. Then he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. His library books flew out of his arms and landed in a mud puddle and his face turned red.

You can do the same thing with settings. Your readers can't see a hot afternoon in the city or a wintry day at the lake unless you draw the picture for them.

EXAMPLE #3: Lenny raced down the sidewalk toward the shady Town Square Mall. He was eager to escape the sun that scorched his back through his thin T-shirt. The hot cement blistered his bare feet. The breeze that ruffled his hair felt like a blast from a furnace and smelled of melting tar.

EXAMPLE #4: Frosty air nipped Laine's nose and she snuggled her face deep into her fur collar. She watched as dad hitched the team to the hayrack. Whipped cream mounds of snow buried the shoreline of the lake. She scrambled onto the rack and burrowed into the hay. As the horses stepped out onto the frozen surface, the ice snapped and crackled beneath their hooves.

How about feelings? Don't tell me Joey was happy. Let me see the sparkle in his eyes and the grin he can't hide as he settles himself onto the seat of his new red bike.

Finally, don't tell me Mary is sad. Don't tell me she cried. I want to share in her misery and feel her pain. EXAMPLE #5: Mary stared out the window as her friends strolled by. If Dad hadn't grounded her for not cleaning her room -- again -- she would be on her way to the beach, too. She bit her lip and drew a deep breath. A giant fist seemed to be gripping her throat and her eyes burned. Then tears filled her eyes. She slapped moisture from her cheeks with an impatient hand and turned her back on the sunlit street.

I used to wonder what his meant. I once had a successful author tell me my work will be right up beside hers as soon as I learn to do a little more showing and a little less telling. At the time I thought she was proposing something naughty. *shrug* Can't show my face at that country club again.

N-E-whooo. I think I've finally learned the difference, though I don't think I could make it clearer than Clara just did. Once you start looking for 'telling' in your writing and start changing it to 'showing,' your understanding of the difference will grow immensely. It's one of those things you learn by implementing it.

Good luck, and once you see the difference in your work, you'll be happy you took the time to learn the difference!

Ditto what Clara posted.

I know where you're coming from, as I sometimes get lazy and just do all telling. But don't forget that you don't have to do all showing and no telling. Knowing when to do one and not the other, ah, yes, that's the hard part.

Sorry I wasn't much help. Good luck!

~Nancy

As I understand it, it's more than painting pictures: it's conveying facts by demonstrating their effect, rather than stating them. Description on its own is still telling because it does not demonstrate impact on the story world.

Thus, if you want to say Sharon is pretty, show blokes falling at her feet. You don't even need the "P" word, unless somebody else says it to her.

If Eric is angry, show his fists clench, his pulse race. Make him have murderous thoughts. Then have him react to his anger through action or decision. But never, ever say "Eric was angry."

If the Mark 9 Zap-O-Matic is extremely destructive, have somebody use it to blow somebody up.

If Xavier is a fantastic poet, have cool girls through themself at him, even though he's short and ugly.

These examples from Holly Lisle's website say it all, IMO:

Instead of saying "He was tall." Say "She looked up at him."

Instead of saying "It was raining." Say "The rain slashed down..."

That kind of thing.

There's a good discussion about show and tell in the Short Story forum.

I have an additional suggestion. I didn't really get it until I had some show vs. tell problems pointed out in my own writing. For some reason, I have trouble reading someone else's examples and then porting it over to my own stuff. At least for me, it makes a better impression when I see where I am making the mistakes. It wasn't until a reader pointed out examples in my work, that it really hit home for me. If you have tough enough skin, you may want to post a sample of your work and ask people to look it with this particular aspect in mind. Most people here are tough, but extremely helpful in this regard.

While this suggestion may not directly impact your writing, I try to take pointers from TV/movies. My creative side works a little backwards, and if I see some kind of facial expression or specific movement that emulates a mood, I can create an entire scene in my WIP based on that sequence.

So, to me, "show" is trying to describe those features and expressions. You can see how characters are feeling based on their appearances alone, and good actors portray those emotions well.

Maybe, as a side exercise, you can take to skipping through TV or a movie while the sound is muted. Really pay attention to what the actors are doing, and how that plays into the character's mood.

In a very general sense, I think of Showing as things that can be captured by a video camera or tape recorder. A rumbling voice, a hand stroking a sick child's face.

"She was a pretty girl" is Telling because a) pretty is in the eye of the beholder, and b) it can't be captured on video. Guys running into lamp posts as she passes them on the street can be witnessed by many people and so it's Showing.

Again, this is a general statement. (Tactile sensations and smell can't be captured on video either, but they can be Shown.)

Can you say "he is angry" without telling me he is angry?

Can you say "the sunset is beautiful" without telling me the sunset is beautiful?

That's basically the gist of "show vs. tell."


Takit cues from TV and movies is a good thing. If you show Kiera Knightley coming out of her room in Pride & Prejudice... maybe not everyone thinks she's beautiful, but hopefully you've shown enough that at least the audience "gets it" that she's beautiful. But it's all about showing (sure, you could have a character say, "Gosh, she's so beautiful" but unless you show to the audience and convince them, it doesn't really mean anything).

Here is a good technique:

Read what you've written, only picture it as a play happening on stage. How dependant is your play on having a narrator there on stage to explain things to the audience.

The actors, their actions and dialogue, are the show. The narrator interrupts the show to tell us stuff about the story... which is almost always annoying. Ideally you don't want this narrator period.

Descriptions of the environment don't count as narration, because in the theatrical analogy, they would be the sets, the lights, sound effects, etc. You need sets and lights to have a complete show.

You can't show things that are subjective, but you can show a character's subjective reaction to them. (i.e. I can't show you she's beautiful, but I can show you that my hero, Dirk, sure thinks she is.)

By George she's got it! By George she's got it!

I struggled with the show don't tell aspect for a while, and still do if I don't concentrate.

Then, I realized I told the reader what images I had seen in my mind as I wrote. I told them what I saw, instead of showing them what "I" was seeing.

My goofy thinking, I guess.

I can't do better than to invite you to read HapiSofi's post in this thread:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=13948&mode=linear

scribbler1382 said:

You can't show things that are subjective, but you can show a character's subjective reaction to them. (i.e. I can't show you she's beautiful, but I can show you that my hero, Dirk, sure thinks she is.)

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Yeah, and when you're dealing with something as subjective as physical beauty, the only way you can really show that is to show other people's reactions. Because if you're trying to establish a beautiful woman, and you "show" that she's skinny and blond, and expect people to accept that she's physically beautiful, you're going to lose some people.

Of course. I think that telling can be used to manipulate the pace of the writing. Often the two read very differently. If you want something that's snappy, succinct, and distanced from the reader (for whatever reason that might be), then I don't see why it shouldn't be used.

When I hear "writing rules" like these, I tend not to take them too literally. The thing is, if you really did show everything and used no summary narrative at all, your story would be very long and very boring. Sometimes "It rained." is a better choice than a page and a half on gurgling drains, leaky rooves, and the smell of wet dogs.

So, to my mind, it's more important to look for the spirit of a "rule" rather than follow the letter of it. "Show, don't tell," invites you to demonstrate your meaning in the most vivid way possible rather than state it bluntly. But, as I noted above, I don't want to apply that to every little thing. So when I sit down to write a scene, I ask myself two question; "What is the purpose of this scene?" and "What is the most vivid image or event I can think of to fulfill that purpose?"

When I've thought of that single image or event, then that becomes the focus of my scene. That is what I'll be showing rather than telling, and everything else will take a back seat to that. Sometimes that's going to mean other things will be consigned to summary narrative, or left out of the scene altogether.

I told my kids to be quiet while I'm writing... they both said "show me."

Zane Curtis said:

When I hear "writing rules" like these, I tend not to take them too literally. The thing is, if you really did show everything and used no summary narrative at all, your story would be very long and very boring. Sometimes "It rained." is a better choice than a page and a half on gurgling drains, leaky rooves, and the smell of wet dogs.

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I think you're right there, Zane. I don't believe there are any writing "rules", only "guidelines", and they should be treated as such. Though, since for the most part, this is a learning arena, the point is probably driven home at a lower level than most people need. There's absolutely nothing wrong with breaking a "rule" -- as long as you're aware that you're breaking it.