while waiting for the Internet II to come out (hm, wonder if they'll call it Internet 2.0?), i was thinking about what things should be invented (and, damnit, i missed that 'american idol' show coming out with inventors cuz i'd have been there in a minute ~ how do people find out about these things?).
here's a short list of things that should be invented:
1) a car stereo that has a rewind button for live radio, kind of like TiVo or DVR. how many times have you started your car to catch the last twelve seconds of a great song then listen to five crap songs afterwards? and i'm sure i can't be the only one who listens to some songs repeatedly, over and over and over again, can i?
2) a vacuum cleaner for under a hundred bucks that still works like new six months down the line. heaven forbid i get what i pay for, but i come a little closer by staying away from anything that has the word 'dirt' and 'devil' in the brand name.
3) smokeless cigarettes. actually, this has already been invented about, oh, a hundred years or so ago. in this age of political correctness and the absolutely ridiculous lies being spouted by anti-smoking crusaders and second-hand smoke, this could be a viable alternative to use in smoke-free (ironic how that term bans a legal substance and happens to use the word 'free' in it) establishments.
4) wristwatch lie-detectors you can use to guage if someone else is lying. you can really buy phone with lie detectors built-in, but that's costly and useless if you're not talking on the phone. i need to know right here and now and in person if someone is lying.
5) male crotch deodorant. a spray on, please.
6) jujyfruits that doesn't stick to your teeth.
7) cars that run on human waste. (this will insure my taco bell stock with rise a 100,000%. hell, i could almost skip the human part and throw a bean burrito right into the tank.)
8) inexpensive miniature clones to do all our menial tasks. miniature because they'd eat less and take less room to house, and inexpensive because i plan on having them do lots of dangerous tasks, not to mention have little gladiator fights in my kiddie pool for my amusement.
9) a private government people can pay to get into if you're accepted, but actually works.
10) inexpensive projection t.v.'s with real definition. who really wants a giant 65" monstrosity taking up a huge amount of space (and putting quite a wallop on your budget) if you don't have to?
11) is asking for some generous government and/or corporation to come up with some cheap kind of life-sustaining paste to keep the world from starving to death too much to ask?
12) supertrees that cleans ten times the amount of air.
13) this is more just for me, but i want a tombstone that plays my favourite songs really loud so that when/if people visit, they can blast 'kashmir' and rock out while dancing on my grave. yeah, that's probably just me.
14) a guitar fretboard that lights up underneath to help people play songs. (this is actually a kick asss idea. i think it's kind of been done like in children's toys, but as far as i know nothing serious has ever been made. hm, come to think of it, i might check into this, so it's mine, all mine!
)
15) remote control everything.
16) high-powered air nozels built into the shower so i can dry off in seconds.
17) surveillance camera jammers. sure, criminals would love this, but my point is i don't like the idea of being watched as i walk down the street. call me crazy. in fact, if the worst thing i'm called in a day is crazy i'm usually doing all right. still, even if i'm not, by chance, doing anything wrong, i don't think it's anyone's business watching me live my life without my permission. i do reserve the right to know if i'm being lied to, however.
18) individual constitution and bills of rights which has to be accepted within reason.
19) non-addictive heroine in chocolate form.
20) nerf suppositories.
21) star wars-like probe droids searching out specific criminals.
22) a computer programme that allows me to destroy the source of all pop-up ads.
23) air-conditioned underwear.
24) child shock collars.
25) penis or bust enlarging cigarettes.
here's a short list of things that should be invented:
1) a car stereo that has a rewind button for live radio, kind of like TiVo or DVR. how many times have you started your car to catch the last twelve seconds of a great song then listen to five crap songs afterwards? and i'm sure i can't be the only one who listens to some songs repeatedly, over and over and over again, can i?
2) a vacuum cleaner for under a hundred bucks that still works like new six months down the line. heaven forbid i get what i pay for, but i come a little closer by staying away from anything that has the word 'dirt' and 'devil' in the brand name.
3) smokeless cigarettes. actually, this has already been invented about, oh, a hundred years or so ago. in this age of political correctness and the absolutely ridiculous lies being spouted by anti-smoking crusaders and second-hand smoke, this could be a viable alternative to use in smoke-free (ironic how that term bans a legal substance and happens to use the word 'free' in it) establishments.
4) wristwatch lie-detectors you can use to guage if someone else is lying. you can really buy phone with lie detectors built-in, but that's costly and useless if you're not talking on the phone. i need to know right here and now and in person if someone is lying.
5) male crotch deodorant. a spray on, please.
6) jujyfruits that doesn't stick to your teeth.
7) cars that run on human waste. (this will insure my taco bell stock with rise a 100,000%. hell, i could almost skip the human part and throw a bean burrito right into the tank.)
8) inexpensive miniature clones to do all our menial tasks. miniature because they'd eat less and take less room to house, and inexpensive because i plan on having them do lots of dangerous tasks, not to mention have little gladiator fights in my kiddie pool for my amusement.
9) a private government people can pay to get into if you're accepted, but actually works.
10) inexpensive projection t.v.'s with real definition. who really wants a giant 65" monstrosity taking up a huge amount of space (and putting quite a wallop on your budget) if you don't have to?
11) is asking for some generous government and/or corporation to come up with some cheap kind of life-sustaining paste to keep the world from starving to death too much to ask?
12) supertrees that cleans ten times the amount of air.
13) this is more just for me, but i want a tombstone that plays my favourite songs really loud so that when/if people visit, they can blast 'kashmir' and rock out while dancing on my grave. yeah, that's probably just me.
14) a guitar fretboard that lights up underneath to help people play songs. (this is actually a kick asss idea. i think it's kind of been done like in children's toys, but as far as i know nothing serious has ever been made. hm, come to think of it, i might check into this, so it's mine, all mine!
)15) remote control everything.
16) high-powered air nozels built into the shower so i can dry off in seconds.
17) surveillance camera jammers. sure, criminals would love this, but my point is i don't like the idea of being watched as i walk down the street. call me crazy. in fact, if the worst thing i'm called in a day is crazy i'm usually doing all right. still, even if i'm not, by chance, doing anything wrong, i don't think it's anyone's business watching me live my life without my permission. i do reserve the right to know if i'm being lied to, however.
18) individual constitution and bills of rights which has to be accepted within reason.
19) non-addictive heroine in chocolate form.
20) nerf suppositories.
21) star wars-like probe droids searching out specific criminals.
22) a computer programme that allows me to destroy the source of all pop-up ads.
23) air-conditioned underwear.
24) child shock collars.
25) penis or bust enlarging cigarettes.
