Writing = Crap

If hating your own work from time to time is abnormal, then I'm abnormal. I've never met a writer who at least once in a while doesn't feel like he's wasting his time. I don't feel like I'm a bad writer anymore, but I do feel like I write bad stuff sometimes.

One remedy for me is to leave the work alone for a while, like a month or two, then come back to it. I read through what I have so far, and anything I think is good is probably good, anything I think is bad needs work. When I get too close to my work is when I think it's bad.

Like Chris, I haven't come across a writer who doesn't question herself from time to time.

I call that voice my Inner Editor. IE is present pretty much all the time for me, always telling me stuff like, "Why are you writing that? Wow that the most boring sentence in the world. You should move on to the next scene already. Well, no, you shouldn't, cause it'll be just as bad. Cause you suck. Why are you even writing?" I can't take a break from writing because IE is always there, so my way of dealing with her is to just power through it and remind myself it's okay if this is shit, I can always edit it later. Also, my trusty beta readers will tell me if something isn't working. I trust them more than I trust IE.

ETA: I forgot to add something which really works for me: Word Wars! I love doing word wars with fellow writers because it means I don't have time to give any thought to what IE is saying. I'm just all, "WRITEWRITEWRITE and DONE! WHEEE!"

Yes, and there was a time that I had stopped writing for six months, I was so disgusted.

I find it comes in waves for me, I can be going good and liking what I am rereading, thinking to myself, 'ya, you got it.' Then during the next rereading I look at the same thing and think 'what were you on when writing this.'

Its hard sometimes to like your work, especially when you are so close to it. I do find that if you give it room to breathe, enough time so you don't recall every word, that when you reread it you can get a better sense on whether you like it or not.

It's super normal as far as I know. Some days I think I'm pretty good - other days I just want to huddle up like a hamster hedgehog in the shredded remains of my manuscripts.

I don't think it ever goes away, but it can certainly be managed. As Chris says, taking a break before reading can help objectivity.

Three things to keep in mind:

1) It's probably not as bad as you think.

2) If it is, it can be fixed.

3) Every writer has doubts about their ability, but pushing through those doubts is integral to reaching goals.

Yuss, I think my writing is crap like all the time. Most of the time. Occasionally, if I'm in a really good mood, I'll have no opinion on it, or maybe even think it's not bad

But I know this about myself--that I will think stuff like this whether the writing *really is* crap or whether it's fine and I'm just being That Way...so I have to ask for outside opinions to know which it is. So my main objective is just to get things done to a point where I can have someone else look and say "yeah that's fine" or "no that's not fine." How I try to bulldoze over my inner voice that tells me it's crap in order to get it done is a long and boring and tiring process...but I have to try if I'm to get anywhere at all

If you're not That Way (which I've only discovered by getting a lot of outside feedback ), then...well, I don't know what it is to Not Be That Way, lol, so I can't say much about that side of things.

When my stuff doesn't seem to be any good it often isn't. The fix doesn't call for an attitude adjustment on my part, as such, but for a rewrite. And sure enough, when I undertake one voila. My writing <> crap

My first two books will never see the light of day, they were crap. But they were learning experiences and I believe that every bit we write, good and horrible teach us something. They help us find our particular style and what I write now is definitely not what I wrote then.

Advice by Ian Fleming, creator of a serial character some might have heard of--James Bond, agent 007.

"That's good advice for young writers. If you start correcting and revising the previous day's work, you waste another day. I revise only after I've finished the book."' He said it takes him about six weeks to write the first draft, turning out about 2,000 words a day in two stints—from 10 a.m. to about noon and from 6 to 7 p. m

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I agree a 100%. Finish the story, and only then start fixing it.

Rule of thumb: it takes about 3 months on average to lose enough weight, or to build enough muscle or of eating non-crap, to see an obvious difference in tone or health or both. In writing an early novel--same. Three or more months of furious editing and fleshing out of the draft will make the difference. Doesn't matter if the draft is flabby and gets out of breath easily and has back ache and can't beat a 12 year old girl at arm-wrestling and has the facial skin condition of a cenobite. What matters is to have the discipline for the duration of the period needed to radically change this.

Crafting one's book's or one's organism's makeover is like being a shark--keep swimming forward until it happens or you're sunk.

I usually cringe when I read my work, no matter how good or bad it actually is. But I do seem to be able to judge good/bad with some success, especially after letting it sit for a bit, no matter how much I cringe when I read it. Though sometimes it really is a load of crap.

I love my stuff! I adore it! I write it, then re read it, and think, oh my, you clever clever girl!
Then I read someone else's stuff. Or watch a well done show.
That's when the doubt burns holes through my confidence.
So, I edit, I revise, I will get this done, dammit. I will get published. I will share my stories. Because out there, somewhere on this big blue marble, is a handful of people who will agree, I am a clever, clever girl.

I'm actually going through a phase where I think my writing is not that bad, and I have a definite potential to 'make it' (in regards to that ever elusive Writing Something Worth Reading dream). But this is after many crits and corrections and working on the how of writing, not only the what, and after long period of thinking I was absolute rubbish. tldr: I think it comes and goes.

I think the baseline standard for most writers is thinking that their writing is Not Very Good, and that's actually a positive thing. Keeps you in check.

I'd be worried if someone genuinely thought their writing was the best thing since Hemingway or whatever. It's like John Waters said about the whole 'I'm an artist' vs. 'I make art thing': "Well, history will be the judge of that."

jerrimander said:

I love my stuff! I adore it! I write it, then re read it, and think, oh my, you clever clever girl!
Then I read someone else's stuff. Or watch a well done show.
That's when the doubt burns holes through my confidence.
So, I edit, I revise, I will get this done, dammit. I will get published. I will share my stories. Because out there, somewhere on this big blue marble, is a handful of people who will agree, I am a clever, clever girl.

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This is me as well. Until a crit or good book shows me otherwise. Lol.

I've always felt like I was great writer while writing. Then when I review my work from over a year ago I'm like "What is this s**t??!" And go on editing sprees. Then I start writing again with confidence for a few months to a year and then I'm like, "How could I have written this and thought it was good?!"

If you have to, take a small break from writing to rejuvenate your brain. Ultimately, the more you write, the better you're going to get and so when you look back at previous work you're going to see how much you've learned. Writers can grow a lot in a few months with constant writing.

BloodSpatterAnalyst said:

Does anyone else feel like their writing is just plain dreck?

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Think of it as just another of the many faces of the Procrastination Fairy, continually feeding you reasons why you should stop writing. If you let her win, she'll get stronger.

I know my writing is dreck, but I also know that I'll rethink and rewrite and polish and get advice until I'm happier with it.

Just remember that other eyes see your writing much differently than you do. It's a matter of perspective and familiarization. You're heaped in your story, having gone over lines, paragraphs, pages, scenes and whatnot. This repetition breeds contempt and instills doubts.

Nothing is wrong. Except for some light or even critical editing that will be done when it's time to do it. It does not mean your prose sucks or you haven't the talent to please a reader. Your book is akin to a good, needful drug, but when you visit it or overdose on it, it produces a psychosis. A fear. A loathing. Paranoia. You begin to believe in things that are way off base.

Anyway, that's my cure for what ails my view about my manuscripts. I go back to the beginning and remember what it was that got me all excited and relieve those moments. Then I realize the story was just fine (except for some needful and general tweaking)--the problem harkened from me.

Something that might jog you back:


Abandoning Your Book?

http://guerrillawarfareforwriters.blogspot.com/2012/09/abandoning-your-book.html


tri

I feel that way often. It doesn't bother me, though. The writing I do that I hate the most is very often what sells the fastest, and that keeps on selling.

The writing I do that I love the most is often the same writing that I can't sell anywhere, at any price.

Anyway, this means I just write it. I let editors worry about quality.

Heck, yeah. I am my own worst critic, but I try not to do the negative self-talk thing too much because I don't think it's very helpful. So, if I look at something I've written and think it's crap, I just try to remember that I can always edit it or let someone else edit it and move on.

I think this is normal. I know I definitely go through stages, sometimes I feel like what I've written is pretty good, then other times I feel like it is total dreck.

A while ago I actually quit writing after trying my hand at short stories. I wrote a bunch of stories and subed them to pro-paying venues. Form rejections from all of them...so I thought, well I must just suck. But then, a few stories I wrote got personal rejections including a very encouraging one from the tor.com folks. I credit that personal rejection with why I kept writing, eventually I sold a story and get almost all personal rejections now. Figure the next step is to sell more stories (I hope)

My point being that you might actually kind of suck. I definitely did and still do a lot of the time, but I kept plugging away and the practice actually helped me get better. Sucking is totally ok!

Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Ira Glass (not that I assume you're a beginning writer necessarily, but I do think this is just so encouraging in those moments of self doubt):
“What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

I felt this way yesterday. I'll feel different in a day or two.

I think it's a good idea to keep a few successful books lying around that you believe are not well written, or that you just didn't like. Read those for a bit.

phantasy said:

This is me as well. Until a crit or good book shows me otherwise. Lol.

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don't let the bastards get ya down.

BloodSpatterAnalyst said:

Does anyone else feel like their writing is just plain dreck?

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Only every single day. Along with many writers I know.

But this is what drives us to improve. Besides, if we thought our every word was golden when actually it was shit (the Dunning -Kruger effect) that'd be worse, right?

I think my stuff is crap daily which is why I struggle to improve. So it's a good thing. Even if it feels awful.

Definitely phases. I'll write something and think it's really just not getting where I want it to get. I'll be embarrassed to even let anyone read it.

Other times I read my own stuff and think there's no way I wrote something so good.

triceretops said:

Anyway, that's my cure for what ails my view about my manuscripts. I go back to the beginning and remember what it was that got me all excited and relieve those moments. Then I realize the story was just fine (except for some needful and general tweaking)--the problem harkened from me.

Something that might jog you back:


Abandoning Your Book?

http://guerrillawarfareforwriters.blogspot.com/2012/09/abandoning-your-book.html

tri

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Tri, I loved your blog post. Definitely helps with my self-doubts right now as I prepare to query.


And to the OP: Don't be afraid for your work to come out rough. That's the best advice I gained when I started creative writing again two years ago. I've learned to let go of fear and disgust and keep writing. I found that I can do a lot with revisions, so that my work begins to resemble the level of writing I aspire to. I may never think I've reached that point, but I'd never have gotten this far if I'd judged my work by my first drafts; I would have quit. Finishing my first novel has been a major life accomplishment and I'm so glad I didn't quit.