Mary Jane Watson is the biggest %$#@ since...ever!

[Lantern Jack]

She is in the movies.

She is in the comic books.

And now she is even in the comic strip.

Okay, I've been following Peter Parker's trip to L.A., where MJ is shooting a new movie, ever since December, and it's been hilarious.

I loved the Batman Begins smash, the whole fire-fighter-dressing-up-as-Spider-Man plot line, Peter's agonies about sneaking his Spidey Suit through airport security, and then having it lost en route (why didn't he have it with him on the plane?)

But one thing that's been absolutely intolerable has been MJ's attitude toward Peter. Do people not know the difference between a vivacious, free-spirited, independent woman and an insensitive, self-absorbed Jezabel?

And now, after Spider-Man (in the guise of---snort---"Justice Guy") saved MJ and her Fabio-looking co-star from an inferno, she has the nerve, on national TV, no less, to go along with Fabio's statements they're an item.

In the words of Peter Parker: I can't believe she didn't call that ham a liar!

This is what you get for mixing with a red head, Peter! Red means danger! Peligroso!!! Peligroso all over the freakin' place.

So alarmed was I by Mary Jane's treachery, I looked to Boondocks for some semblance of order and sanity. I mean, it's always insane over there, but at least it's a consistent insanity!

And they've moved to the freakin' suburbs!!! What the hey!!!!!!!!

My world is in shambles. Woe, I tells you. Woe, woe, woe...Woe (7 happy emoticons, just to let you know I'm only being hyperbolic...and one more to grow on











Oppugno!