Romance = Pornography in Texas

[Marlys]

Have you heard about Fred Head, the guy running for office in Texas who has attacked his opponent for having written a romance novel?

Check this out (all punctuation as original):

Susan Combs claims to be a person of high moral standards. Her record of writing, having published and selling a pornographic book clearly shows that Susan Combs is a two faced, hypocrite who was obviously more concerned with her literary career and seeing her name in print than the morals of the young People of Texas who are exposed to her 222 page book, A Perfect Match, which has her name at the top of every other page - - - a clear testament to Susan Combs’ insatiable ego and desire to see her name in print.

Sheesh. You'd think Susan Combs was the Marquise de Sade, but the cover and excerpts show the book to be your standard, Harlequin-type romance. I can't believe this guy passes as a Democrat in Texas.

I wrote this for my blog:

The Ballad of Fred 'n' Sue

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Fred,
A good ol' Texan boy with the last name o' Head.
Seems one day he was fixin' to be elected
When he heard about a book that could get a man erected.
Porn, that is…evil…a one-hand read.

Well it turns out, you see, that this filthy book was writ
By gal named Sue who he called a hypocrite,
'Cause she was runnin' for that Texas post as well
But page one-oh-two sez she's goin' straight to hell.
Sex, that is…nekkidness…doin' it.

But if y'all take a look, you will find to yer surprise
What looks purty raw to our saintly Freddie's eyes
Turns out to be an ol' fashioned kind o' read
A sweet li'l tale that won't make yer eyes bleed.
Romance, that is…makin' love…commitment!

Why would he tell everyone she wrote a porn?
Are voters down there dumber than the newly born?
Or maybe lit'rate folks are poor Freddie's greatest fear
Bein' that he posted "Read an Extraxt here."
Spellcheck…proofread…idjit.

So you figure ol' Fred is a good Republican
A fine upstanding conservative gen'leman,
Turns out instead she's the GOP's lass
It's her opponent who's the real jackass.
C'mon Texas...don't fall for this...bull-hockey!

[DeniseK]

Your poem, to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies, is great!! You should send it to Susan Combs

[rosemerry]

Love your ditty.

The entire book can be viewed at Fred Head's office in Athens, Texas.

If it's so awful why does he own the book? Better yet Susan should autograph it for him.

[veinglory]

I love the "name on every second page" bollocks. Does this guy not look at many books? Because near-illiteracy would worry me more than anything a person wrote.

[Marlys]

Originally Posted by DeniseK

Your poem, to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies, is great!! You should send it to Susan Combs

Ha! I think I will.

[Tsu Dho Nimh]

Send it to Fred too! His address is on the website.

Sheesh! That's the near-obligatory "hot scene" for Kismets.

[Kate Thornton]

Marlys, your song is inspired! I love it!

PLEASE send it to the parties involved - it's gold!

[Poetic Pen]

I read about this earlier today as well and shook my head. It's no wonder I prefer to sit alone and write all day - people are starting to scare me.

[Marlys]

Okay, I sent it to both Fred Head and Susan Combs. I'm not really expecting a response from either of them, but if they do reply, I'll let you know!

[Cathy C]

I wonder if this guy doesn't know that RWA is headquartered in Texas, for heaven's sake! He just woke up a very big and annoyed sleeping dog with this one! Both RT and RWA conferences are IN Texas next year, and this is already flying around the internet.

I can see the flyers now in downtown Houston and Austin, "Romance Authors for Susan Combs!" "Down with Head!" "Does Texas really want the person who drove romance dollars out of Texas in charge of the money?"

ETA: Oh, Marlys, your song is PRICELESS! Would you mind if I shared it with my RWA chapters?

[Shadow_Ferret]

Originally Posted by Marlys

...Fred Head...

*snickers*

[Mom'sWrite]

Originally Posted by Cathy C

"Down with Head!"

Okay, this made me roll!

(So did the song!)

[Marlys]

Originally Posted by Cathy C

I wonder if this guy doesn't know that RWA is headquartered in Texas, for heaven's sake! He just woke up a very big and annoyed sleeping dog with this one! Both RT and RWA conferences are IN Texas next year, and this is already flying around the internet.

I can see the flyers now in downtown Houston and Austin, "Romance Authors for Susan Combs!" "Down with Head!" "Does Texas really want the person who drove romance dollars out of Texas in charge of the money?"

ETA: Oh, Marlys, your song is PRICELESS! Would you mind if I shared it with my RWA chapters?

Feel free! (Of course, I'd appreciate it if you kept my name with it--last name is Pearson ).

[MMo]

A friend just said it didn't matter whether Fred Head is a Democrat or a Republican; his parents should have named him Dick.

Mo

[Kasey Mackenzie]

You go, Marlys! And you, too, CathyC! Sic 'em! =)

Man, some people REALLY make me wonder about that whole "survival of the fittest" theory. I mean, can we say "too stupid to live?"

[Peggy]

I have this disturbing picture in my head of Fred reading through Susan's novel looking for the dirty bits, sweat dripping from his brow, a leer on his face. It sounds like out Susan wrote a single pretty standard romance novel almost 20 years ago. It's not like she has a secret career directing XXX-rated movies. If Fred thinks the book is porn, he should get out more. (You can read the excerpts yourself on Fred's site.

[Popeyesays]

I guess it's difficult to read for comprehension when ol' Fred has one hand busy with a corn cob and he's fumbling for the vaseline.

Regards,
Scott

[piscesgirl80]

Marlys, your "ballad" is hysterical! If you haven't done any humor writing before, you should definitely consider it!

One of my favorite parts was him attacking Susan's "insatiable ego." I love it when politicians accuse one another of being arrogant or power-hungry...like the accuser is running for office because he/she is a great humanitarian.

[Simon Woodhouse]

I wish I could get this much publicity for my book when it comes out. As Oscar Wilde said 'there's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about.'

[Southern_girl29]

Your song is hysterical. Glad you sent it to both parties.

[nevada]

So, if she wrote pornography, isn't he distributing pornography by having it posted on his website? And what if some child comes across it, doing homework for her political science homework? Isn't he doing greater harm than her? This makes me laugh so much Diet Coke is coming out of my nose. And I'm kinda glad we dont have these kind of elections in Canada. He sounds pretty desperate for the job. And he is awfully fond of the word hypocrite.

[AnneMarble]

My God, he can't even spell extract!

What's sad is that some people will believe this bunk. Because they "know" that all romance novels are pornographic. Without actually reading any, of course.

[Susan Gable]

Originally Posted by AnneMarble

My God, he can't even spell extract!

Not to mention that it's not an "extract" at all - it's an excerpt.

<shaking head>

Susan G.

[Inspiewriter]

*rolling eyes* at the man's ignorance.

[Gillhoughly]

As a native Texan, I want to apologize for poor ol' Cousin Fred. We ain't like him, and don't invite him to the tailgate parties, though he shows up regardless with a plate. There's a rumor it's the one in his head, but I never believed that. Not much.


What we usually say around here, jus' to be polite to his folks, is, "That boy ain't right."


And yes, PLEASE send a copy of the song to Sue's office. I'm sure they would love the laugh. Perhaps they could sing it to Fred.
.

I've sent notice of this bozo to RWA. Tried for my local chapter, but it bounced. If anyone is in Texas, please spread the word about this loon. My own vote will go to anyone but HIM. I think that sissy-lookin' bow tie cut off the air to his brain years ago.