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Old 11-01-2006, 01:28 AM   #1
badducky
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badducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
SciFi/Fantasy First Line Game
Rules: Write one sentence that will grab your audience and propel them to the next whilst making this very, very obvious that we are reading a work of scifi or fantasy. Please, no run-on sentences or overly verbose adjectives.

a.k.a. "Grigor Samsa woke up to discover that he had turned into a cockroach."

My entry:

"When the aliens first landed, they traded apocalyptic bombs with Iceland for skrimshander carvings and wool."
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Old 11-01-2006, 01:59 AM   #2
ChunkyC
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ChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Pfelp stuck a tentacle up his left nostril and bleemed at the expressions on the faces of his students as the tip appeared in his central earafice.
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Old 11-01-2006, 02:03 AM   #3
beezle
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Without his trusty atomic blaster, Starman Hamil resorted to throwing unripe figs at the Xenaplorian horde.
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Old 11-01-2006, 02:07 AM   #4
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dclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
There once was a man who lived his life as men live their lives, going daily to and fro from places he thought were important, without a single care or even the faintest hint that his planet and everyone on it had already triggered a time bomb that would destroy it, and everything else ever born or created in all the galaxy.
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Old 11-01-2006, 02:27 AM   #5
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BardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsBardSkye is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
"Eggshells," said Skreet, looking at the reptilian form in front of him, "you look great, honey."
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Old 11-01-2006, 02:58 AM   #6
Euan H.
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Of course, dying for the third time was easier.
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Old 11-01-2006, 03:16 AM   #7
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badducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
dclary, you forgot the rules: NO RUN-ON SENTENCES!

Euan H. is in the lead, methinks.

I'll try again later.
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Old 11-01-2006, 03:23 AM   #8
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What John remembered most about being dead was the odd yellowish quality of the light around him.

Rabe...
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Old 11-01-2006, 05:44 AM   #9
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rugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsrugcat is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
This sorcerer gig isn't all it's cracked up to be, Wilson thought as the demon started sucking the marrow out of his left arm.
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Old 11-01-2006, 05:52 AM   #10
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Blinded by the light and gagging on the stench Smith took the first timid steps on a new world.
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:07 AM   #11
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MattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
I was close enough to see the look of surprise on Blackmane's face, and believe me, anything beyond hungry is difficult to recognize on a dragon.
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Old 11-01-2006, 07:12 AM   #12
Euan H.
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I vote for MattW and rugcat so far.
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Old 11-01-2006, 08:04 AM   #13
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I just submitted this to the "writing novels" forum under a thread titled "hook me with the first 20 words" (or something to that effect). It's not a single sentence, but it is 20 words.

The sonogram operator flipped a switch.
"And here's the baby's heartbeat..."
The sound of morse code filled the room.
S.O.S.
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Old 11-01-2006, 08:12 AM   #14
Euan H.
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I also vote for greglondon. Wow.
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Old 11-01-2006, 10:35 AM   #15
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dclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by badducky
dclary, you forgot the rules: NO RUN-ON SENTENCES!

Euan H. is in the lead, methinks.

I'll try again later.
I hold that my sentence is just barely not a run-on.
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Old 11-01-2006, 12:00 PM   #16
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Pthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPthom is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
I will agree with dclary, that the sentence just barely qualifies as a non-run-on sentence. But just.

Without all the modifiers, this is the sentence:
"A man lived without a hint that his planet had triggered a bomb that would destroy everything in the galaxy.
But I like the extras. Now, am I hooked enough to read further?

Yeah. If there wasn't anything pressing on my schedule, I would.
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Old 11-01-2006, 01:19 PM   #17
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I had a plan to save my city; I'd hijack a UFO -- they had to be time machines with future humans at the controls; who else would be so interested in us?

(How's that for using punctuation to turn 3 sentences into 1?)
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Old 11-01-2006, 02:57 PM   #18
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Old 11-01-2006, 03:59 PM   #19
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MattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMattW is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by Euan H.
I vote for MattW and rugcat so far.
Cool - thanks!

I thought yours wins for pure brevity.
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Old 11-01-2006, 04:13 PM   #20
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... ffo yap ot gnitrats yllanif si yportne esrever ot tnemirepxe ym kniht I :yraiD reaD
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"So if you accidentally park your ship on an event horizon", the Captain explained, "you'll find yourself stuck in a closed-time loop, so if you accidentally park your ship on an event horizon", the Captain explained, "you'll find yourself stuck in a ...."
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Old 11-01-2006, 04:23 PM   #21
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Cold steel bit dragon flesh.
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:49 PM   #22
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ChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsChunkyC is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
I agree with Peter about dclary's line. Without the modifiers, the reveal at the end lacks punch. I think it needs that setup; that moment or two of introduction to the normalcy of his character's life before hitting us with the 'bomb', pun intended.

I can't pick a clear leader so far, but I quite dig Matt's and BardSkye's.
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:56 PM   #23
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badducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsbadducky is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
"I went to the bar looking for other men like me, but I suspected something was wrong when the front door was only eight inches high."

Hey, what's with all this multiple voting!? Oh, well.
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:59 PM   #24
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Old 11-01-2006, 08:12 PM   #25
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dclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
As the sun rose over the yellow mucus cactus plants of Kelso Alpha IV, I adjusted myself and got ready to finish driving the sheffelherd into town.
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