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#1 |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a TURKEY!
Our wonderful turkey hatched this morning, 6 am GMT.
Its name is Crack of Death, by Sharla Tann. PublishAmerica has decided to give this book "the chance it deserves". We have the hard copy contract; however, we (Tsu Dho Nimh, Old Hack and myself) have decided to publish it ourselves instead. You can view it at http://www.lulu.com/content/700451 It's available for £10.73 plus postage as a paperback, or as an E-book. All proceeds go to AbsoluteWrite, to help with their great work in supporting authors and busting scam operations such as PunishAmerica. This is the work of 21 authors, most of them AWers you know and love; it was great fun writing, reading and putting it together, and I am delighted with the result. I think you'll agree that it's the second worst book in the world, after Atlanta Nights. (And Uncle Jim has kindly contributed one chapter.) Originally, Crack of Death was conceived as a sting manuscript to bring down PA's That's when I turned to AW members for help. The result is a Published Book that tells a truly edge-of-your-seat story, a story so bad it's good. But then, just as we wanted to submit it to PublishBritannica, the Enclyclopaedia Britannica sued, and PA/PB ran back to the US with their tail between their legs. So we were left stranded: a tale without a dog. I let it sit on my computer for many months. I had other things to do: a book to write. for instance. But then I finished said book, found an agent, and in the few weeks I had between books I decided to take this wonderful story to the next level and submit it to PublishAmerica. This exciting erotic thriller fiction novel is the story of the beautiful hairdresser Nancy whose life spirals out of control when she meets the exotic Roberto. Little does Audrey know that Roberto is in fact a dangerous Colombian Mafia Drug Lord. Can she escape the clutches of Cucaracha, Espadrillo and their Boss, the wicked La Madre? From the seething underbelly of Colombian drugs to the evil web of intrigue in London, Nancy is swept up in an adventure that will change her life forever, right up to the cliffhanger ending where the kindly Scotland Yard detective Garry Lamont vies with intrepid FBI agent Duane Malaysia for her favours. But is it too late?
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![]() Eeyore: “This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it.”« - A.A.Milne "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi Blog Website Library Last edited by aruna; 03-04-2007 at 08:19 PM. |
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#2 |
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Remorsely Logical
AW Supermod
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 12,810
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Why am I foreseeing a day when people proudly announce they own the complete collection of PA sting books?
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#3 |
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California Dreaming
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Doing Serious BIC
Posts: 1,655
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Ordered my print copy from Lulu a few minutes ago, aruna. Glad to be a part of supporting AW and putting another black mark against PA. I will proudly display my copy of The Crack of Death along side Atlanta Nights.
![]() ![]() Come on everyone--be among the first to order the second most terrible book to be accepted by PA, and help support the great service offered to all writers by AW and the many professional authors who frequent the AW boards.
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"But ultimately eloquence runs on a deeper current. It moves us with what it leaves unsaid, touching off echoes in what we already know from our reading, our religion and our heritage. Eloquence invites us to bring some part of ourselves to the transaction." - William Zinsser, On Writing Well |
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#4 |
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I have a very useful cat
Absolute Sage
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 1,638
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Having been involved in the project right from the start I can proudly say I've never written such rubbish in my life. Nor read it, for that matter--Atlanta Nights excepted. Thank you, Aruna, for putting so much effort into this project. You've been marvellous. I can only hope that everyone else enjoys it as much as I have.
Buy the book! |
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#5 | |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Quote:
Isn't it gerat to be a Published Author! |
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#6 | |
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the Bruin of Tomorrow™
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 169
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Quote:
![]() Way too funny. PA sure knows how to pick the best books. Congrats.
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Brian Kolm Atomic Bear Press - Comics for the "big kid" in all of us. Home of "Beyond the Great Chimney" a fantasy comic book adventure about taking life by the horns. Featuring painted art by Brian Kolm. ATOMICBEARPRESS.com |
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#7 |
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Member - the "Sting Gang."
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 509
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Buy. The. Book.
It may be the only time you see me in print! Seriously, I think it takes real talent to write such @#%^&*. And I’m sure my co-authors all agree with me Thanks aruna for inviting me to participate.
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#8 |
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Super Browser
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The backwoods of Alabama
Posts: 7,250
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Yeah, I was a proud crap contributor from the very beginning. I'm so glad this project made it to acceptance and publication. PA claims to reject 80% of everthing that comes across their desks. If this MADE it, it begs the question: Just what are they REJECTING? What's worse is that the editor admitted that it had some spelling errors, which indicates that he/she read part of the story. Emphasis...PART.
Another one that slipped through the cracks and put a pimple on PA's butt. Is this the fourth sting manuscript? I'm beginning to lose count now. Guiness World Records needs to check this publisher out. In fact, I might submit this feat to their board and see if this topic has ever been covered. Excerpt: He slammed on the brakes suddenly and the cruiser skied on the pavement making crayon-like marks on the asphault. He starred at her viciously, and there could be seen on his forehead a vein that bucked and throbbed to the rythum of his heartbeat. He was totally pissed off and he let her know it with his next words, in no uncertain terms. “Then you’re going down—up the river! Do you know what they do to little tarts, with big breasts, like you have, in the women’s penetencheery at Brighton? Those are hard-core felonious women in there and they have sandpaper tongues, sharp fingernails, and no cumpunction about using foreign objects on new prisoners. They won’t let you watch soap operas, wear fuzzy slippers, or write posts to home. You’ll be eating mutton, I mean, porriage, every day of your life in there. For Christmas you’ll get a sack of walnuts with no nut cracker. Is that how you want to live?”
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ORDER GATE WALKER ON AMAZON NOW! http://www.freewebs.com/uncle1/ TWITTER: http://twitter.com/home ![]() ![]() ![]() Check out the first Chapters of seven novels on Booksie: http://www.booksie.com/Chris_Stevenson |
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#9 |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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I have to say, LOP, your crap was some of the most brilliant in the book! Yours is one of my favourite chapters. Makes me smile just thinking of it. Hot Damn!
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#10 | |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Or this, from the notorious Chapter 16:
Quote:
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#11 |
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wishes you happiness
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 9,793
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I'm very... um... proud (?) of you all.
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I am no longer here. If you'd like to visit me, please find me at www.jennaglatzer.com or on Facebook. Thanks! |
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#12 |
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Member - the "Sting Gang."
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 509
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Lotta "Hot Damns" in that little ole book.
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#13 | |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Quote:
But honestly, I don't think they even care now . They survived Atlana Nights; they must think it doesn't really matter, as long as new people sign up. It's new writers signing up and buying their own books that keep them in business. They just don't care about their reputation.
__________________
![]() Eeyore: “This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it.”« - A.A.Milne "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi Blog Website Library Last edited by aruna; 01-07-2007 at 02:35 PM. |
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#14 |
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What happened to my LIFE?!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: West Enchilada, AZ
Posts: 1,064
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Thank you all, thank you, thank you, thank you. I was thrilled to work with such a brilliant team of writers
Now ... when can I expect the cops at my door like the Pink Pony author got? And can we auction the contracts on eBay? |
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#15 |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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oops - sorry for spelling your name wrong inPost 1. Corrected! I've spelt a lot of names wrong today - must be that adrenalin rush, like Duane Malaysia!
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#16 | |
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What happened to my LIFE?!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: West Enchilada, AZ
Posts: 1,064
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Quote:
They took enough time to notice a problem with the dialog formatting (perhaps English versus American style), and didn't notice that Nancy went through Heathrow several times with several different outcomes. |
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#17 | |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Quote:
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#18 | |
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Feel the power!
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 476
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Thats classic!
![]() Sharla Tann...LOL
__________________
Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red. Quote:
NOVELS: The Blood- Complete. 148, 307; First edit complete Book 2- 20,946 and counting... Book 3- Pending SHORTS: The Bitter Twist- Still Pending The Dark Trap- WIP (On hold) REWRITES: All re-writes on hold. |
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#19 |
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studies Library Science
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 6,889
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Ah, yes...
Do you think they even noticed that I spelled "Twenty" wrong in the heading of my chapter? Or that I included sentences that stated in no uncertain terms that this was utter crap? Oh well, it's fun anyway ![]() Proudly the author of Chapter Tweenty-four
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Christine Young Adult Fantasy Author The Mirror of Yu-Huang (The Library of Athena, Book Three): coming in 2010 I tweet |
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#20 | |
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Here, Now, Always.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Eastbourne
Posts: 7,639
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Hot Damn, Christine, you can WRITE.
Quote:
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#21 |
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studies Library Science
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 6,889
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Tee hee. It really was hard to write that badly. I had to un-learn all the good stuff people have taught me.
Yeah, well, it's no Eye of Argon, but I did my best I have the copy you sent me, I'm trying hard to get through the rest of it without laughing, but it's proving, uh, difficult. In a beautiful sort of way. Bravo!
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Christine Young Adult Fantasy Author The Mirror of Yu-Huang (The Library of Athena, Book Three): coming in 2010 I tweet Last edited by Christine N.; 01-07-2007 at 05:50 PM. |
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#22 | |
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Almost expert!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 62
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Impressive! (Well deserved too.) Thank YOU Absolutewrite.com for supporting authors and busting scam operations. [Sylvia] drbrookman@teacher-edu.net
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Dr. Sylvia Lee Brookman, EDD, Education Administrator Teacher EDU Network a division of Appanage Vision Inc. 001-1-209-846-0678 International www.teacher-edu.net |
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#23 | |
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Nefarious Countertenor Fan
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: MD
Posts: 2,346
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Quote:
Now you can proudly go down in infamy. But the book is for a good cause, so maybe you're going down in famy. Or is that up in infamy?
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THE Official FreakTM That's not me in my avatar. That's Russell Oberlin, countertenor. I'm Anne. -- My Writing-World Column -- AARlist2, my romance reader discussion group Dubbed "Cool Thread Starter Girl" by JeanneTGC
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#24 |
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Almost expert!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 87
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I've been waiting for details of what you guys did since you first alluded to it before the holidays.
Damn, ya'll are brilliant. Congratulations. And this? I'll be saying every chance I get: "For Christmas you’ll get a sack of walnuts with no nut cracker. Is that how you want to live?" Grommet (infrequent poster, constant admirer) |
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#25 | |
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What happened to my LIFE?!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: West Enchilada, AZ
Posts: 1,064
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