Oh, hey, sorry I'm late. I was in the back room playin' poker with all the hot guys
Yo, Cindy! I'll take another Rum and Coke. Be a doll, eh?
So I was at the drug store the other day lookin' for something to cure this hangover of mine, and I found a new section of suppliments in a For Women Only section. Check these out:
Damnitol; Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
Emptynestrogen; Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
St. Momma'swort; Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
Peptobimbo; Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
Dumberol; When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
Flipitor; Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Menicillin; Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as "You make me want to be a better person."
Buyagra; Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
Jackasspirin; Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to life the toilet seat.
Anti-talksident; A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
Nagamet; When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Thank you. Thank you very much. Yo CINDY! That Rum and Coke? TODAY, please?