Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write
A publisher or agency using Google ads to solicit your novel probably isn't anyone you want to write for.
|
|||||||
![]() |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
#1976 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
this red rose is so much prettier than the white
i'm sorry i let uncle dick babysit the young princes but... |
|
|
|
|
|
#1977 |
|
In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
Join Date: May 2007
Location: King Louie's town
Posts: 9,589
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I wanted to be the Queen of England.
I'm sorry I dropped the glass slipper but
__________________
Komnena messterpiece 44119 words |
|
|
|
|
|
#1978 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
it wasn't working with my corn pads
i'm sorry that i danced with the prince all night |
|
|
|
|
|
#1979 |
|
In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
Join Date: May 2007
Location: King Louie's town
Posts: 9,589
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
hey you'll find another man eventually.
I'm sorry I stayed out past midnight but
__________________
Komnena messterpiece 44119 words |
|
|
|
|
|
#1980 |
|
Come here and say that
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 6,679
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I am a vampire.
I'm sorry I bit your neck and drank your blood but...
__________________
A Dictionary of Linguistic Absurdities "a waste of time and an insult to the intelligence"
|
|
|
|
|
|
#1981 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
i was out of V-8. next time could you dine on sea food? i am partial to clammato
i'm sorry that i burned your grilled sweetbreads but... |
|
|
|
|
|
#1982 |
|
Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...you told me that you're used to having "heart" burn.
I'm sorry that during your acupuncture treatment, one of the needles pierced your bladder, but...
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
|
|
|
|
|
#1983 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
now when you say you have to take a leak it will be a fact not a literary device
i'm sorry that i dug a tunnel to Tijuana in your basement |
|
|
|
|
|
#1984 |
|
In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
Join Date: May 2007
Location: King Louie's town
Posts: 9,589
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
but I really had to make a run for the border.
I'm sorry I accidentally walled up the cat but
__________________
Komnena messterpiece 44119 words |
|
|
|
|
|
#1985 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
but he was sucking up my cask of amontillado
i'm sorry that your house fell down the night i came to visit |
|
|
|
|
|
#1986 |
|
Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,048
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but I warned you that I'm a homewrecker.
I'm sorry my boa constrictor escaped and is hiding somewhere in your house, but...
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
|
|
|
|
|
#1987 |
|
Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but you'll be happy to know that when he slithers into your bed, coils around your neck and squeezes the life out of you, that is his way of showing affection.
I'm sorry that when I was vacuuming your place I accidentally sucked up your priceless stamp collection, but...
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
|
|
|
|
|
#1988 |
|
Just soaking up some R&R...
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: y down South a'course!
Posts: 1,772
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but its ok because since the stamps went through the vacuum they aren't priceless anylonger.
I am sorry that I drove through your flower garden on my riding lawnmower with the blades engaged but....
__________________
Four Things You Cannot Retrieve The Stone -- after the throw. The Word -- after its said. The Occasion -- after its missed. The Time -- after its gone. ![]() 'TINK' ![]() Yee Haw!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
#1989 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
not as sorry as your mexican gardener who was hand weeding at the time
i'm sorry that i told the ira about your goose that lays the golden eggs |
|
|
|
|
|
#1990 |
|
Mostly Ridiculous ...
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 20,634
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
but they were looking for my pot of gold.
I'm sorry I told you 1AM instead of 1PM...
__________________
Where you start isn't nearly as important as where you finish. - quickWit |
|
|
|
|
|
#1991 |
|
Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,048
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but that's a silly way to keep time anyway, and if you had any sense you'd switch to 24-hour time, like most smart people. I'm writing this at 13:31.
I'm sorry I poured molasses in your gas tank, but...
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
|
|
|
|
|
#1992 |
|
Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but you are, after all driving a Toyota, and with your acceleration problems and all, I thought you'd appreciate my little safety feature.
I'm sorry that after you exclaimed, "What am I, chopped liver?" that somebody attempted to spread you on a Ritz cracker, but...
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
|
|
|
|
|
#1993 |
|
In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
Join Date: May 2007
Location: King Louie's town
Posts: 9,589
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
didn't you always want to be putting on the Ritz?
I'm sorry I told the Spanish about your treasure but
__________________
Komnena messterpiece 44119 words |
|
|
|
|
|
#1994 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
but that torquemada guy is kind of a spooky dude
i'm sorry that i told the inquisition you were having bagels and lox for lunch Last edited by shakeysix; 02-24-2010 at 05:33 PM. |
|
|
|
|
|
#1995 |
|
Come here and say that
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 6,679
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
but I warned you not to take my bagels and lox without asking.
I'm sorry I stamped on your head but...
__________________
A Dictionary of Linguistic Absurdities "a waste of time and an insult to the intelligence"
|
|
|
|
|
|
#1996 |
|
blue eyed floozy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: St. John, Kansas
Posts: 5,532
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
i wanted to mail it to your next of kin
i'm sorry that i substituted styrofoam peanuts for the spanish peanuts in the peanut brittle that i made for you |
|
|
|
|
|
#1997 |
|
Darkly Romantic Curmudgeon
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pacific NW USA
Posts: 2,501
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...but I was trying to offer a low calorie alternative.
I'm sorry sold your avatar picture to a porn site...
__________________
Claire Purely Relative (The P.U.R.E. #1.5) coming April 30th! My Published Stand-Alone Works: The P.U.R.E. by Claire Gillian All's Fair in Love and War by Lila Shaw Vixen and the Pea by Lila Shaw Soul of the Succubus by Lila Shaw Prometheus Unstitched by Lila Shaw Succubus Games by Lila Shaw Succubus Steam by Lila Shaw My Website Primary Blog |
|
|
|
|
|
#1998 |
|
Banned for Trolling
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Close to mother Sea
Posts: 4,508
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I'm sorry sold your avatar picture to a porn site...
but you did say you wanted to meet new people I'm sorry I sold your wife to the circus |
|
|
|
|
|
#1999 |
|
In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
Join Date: May 2007
Location: King Louie's town
Posts: 9,589
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
your new lion is guaranteed to keep burglars away.
I'm sorry I set fire to those old ships and sailed them into your fleet but
__________________
Komnena messterpiece 44119 words |
|
|
|
|
|
#2000 |
|
Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,048
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
...I needed some footage of a naval battle for my movie, and your fleet was just sitting there. I mean, I did list you in the credits.
I'm sorry I stole your plot for that story I sold to Hollywood for $1 million, but...
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
|
|
|
![]() |
| Bookmarks |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.