Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

[Judg]

OK, now you've broken my heart. I thought I was all set up with my short name...

(We were joking back...)

[Moonfish]

Yeah, at least I was!

[allenparker]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

BTW, the thing about having a last name of five letters or less if you want to be a Big Name Author is a joke.

Witness James Patterson. It's just that the cover designer has to work a little harder, is all.

A joke?!? It was a joke? I just changed my name to Al Park! I hate Al. I despise Al. And Park sucks.


Jeez, now I got to go back to the records room and find out if Jim Patterson is available.

You could have told me earlier.

Where's a moderator when you need one.

Just a naked thought from Al Park.

...Levity is the adversary of academic achievement... My 7th grade teacher.

[James D. Macdonald]

Is it time for another writing assignment? It is! (Inspired by this thread here.)

First, an article for y'all to read: Agents' Chapter 1 Pet Peeves! (from Guide to Literary Agents: Editor's blog) (Added: More Agents' Pet Peeves)

All kinds of great ways to get an agent to stop reading by the end of the first paragraph. For example:

"Anything cliché such as ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ will turn me off. I hate when a narrator or author addresses the reader (e.g., 'Gentle reader')."
- Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary

Now the challenge: Write an opening including as many of those bugaboos as possible. Shoot for 250 words. 500 at most.

Have fun with it.

[chronomodra]

I think I managed to fit all of them (including the ones from part 2) into this horrible, horrible piece that strives to reach such literary heights as Atlanta Nights:

-------------------

Prologue

Our story begins with Izzy the Barbarian swinging her massive, sharp axe at the head of her foe, who was named Donald after his father, and his father before him. He had brown hair, blue eyes, green shoes, a 6’2” frame, weighed 205 lbs, and his favorite food was pickles. His mangled beard writhed out of his face like the pubic hair of a dwarven woman, and his eyes reminded Izzy of the hard-boiled eggs she had for breakfast the day her father died, the day her quest for vengeance began!

Donald III’s head came off cleanly and satisfyingly with a huge spray of dark red blood. Izzy stepped over his body and moved on to her next target, Marcus VIII. Only 784 more of these guys to go!

Little did she know she was about to die.

Behind her, Jryxian Toodless grinned to himself as he chopped his axe – its silvery blade shimmering in the twin suns of this world, Aramatha – down on Izzy’s neck. Oh no! That’s going to hurt, don’t you think?

Isabelle Jenkins woke up screaming.

Some guy walked up to her table at the coffee shop and mumbled scornfully, “Jeez, get with the program, crazy woman.” Then he walked away, jerking off after talking to her because he was into that sort of thing.

Isabelle stared out the coffee shop’s nearby window and sighed. She kept on having these dreams, and was beginning to realize that they had something to do with her upcoming trip. She’d be flying back home in Podunk, Louisiana for her mother’s funeral, where the town’s local serial killer would make an attempt on her life – not that she knew that yet. All she knew was that she hated the world and everyone in it, because no one understood how she felt. Every day was hard. Really, really hard. So hard that she didn’t know how she got up in the morning, but she did, and it’s a good thing because otherwise our story would end here. But it doesn’t, because as she stared out that window, examining her reflection of blond hair, green eyes, pouty lips, and 5’9” height, she farted.

And that, gentle reader, is how it all began.

Chapter 1

It was a bright and foggy day, Bob the detective thought, but that was probably because he had a hangover…

[smsarber]

Under the watchful eye of Dr. Zhivegas, on a very dark, very stormy summer's evening, Pip started the experiment. Walking the thin line between fantasy and reality in the name of science, he poured the DNA-suspension compound from the glass test-tube into the waiting beaker. Steam hissed, the bubbling liquid turning from red to blue.

Dr. Zhivegas may have been the crazy mad-scientist type you could only imagine to meet in some cheesey novel, but this experiment was Pip's baby. Dearest Reader, you must understand, Pip was the brains in this lab. Zhivegas was nothing. He undoubtedly forged the degree from MIT hanging on the wall. Of course, he would never say so to the Doctor; Pip was a deaf-mute.

Zhivegas laughed and clapped his hands together, though Pip heard nothing. "It looks successful," Pip thought, "please don't realize that." His DNA-suspention formula could be the cure for cancer. Or any other ailment that would ever plague mankind.

The downside was, if Zhivegas knew it worked it would be the downfall of mankind.

And so Pip managed a look of disappointment and took out his small notepad. He quickly scratched out the words "Back to the drawing board," and lifted the pad for Zhivegas to see.

"Oh, if you only knew it does work," thought Pip.
216 words
__________________________________________________ _____________
I laid it on pretty thick, and yes, it was fun. On a personal note, today I have 35 months sobriety!!

[StephanieRose]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

Some things that drive me frantic include The Character Describes Himself By Looking in a [mirror/puddle/polished wood on the top of the bar] and Describing What He Sees.

Oh God. I just did this.

*bangs head against keyboard*

[pictopedia]

Prologue
“Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written."*Andrea Brown, Andrea Brown Literary Agency


On a dark and stormy night (a night that could be spent in pleasure),
"A cheesy hook drives me nuts. They say 'Open with a hook!' to grab the reader. That's true, but there's a fine line between an intriguing hook and one that's just silly. An example of a silly hook would be opening with a line of overtly sexual dialogue. Or opening with a hook that's just too convoluted to be truly interesting."*Daniel Lazar, Writers House
instead of in the kitchen of this spooky old house,
"Anything*cliché*such as ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ will turn me off” *Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary*
I, gentle reader, being stranded in this old house in flight from the approaching storm ,
"I hate when a narrator or*author addresses the reader*(e.g., 'Gentle reader')."*Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary
got lost in my reflection in the window. My wonderful chest,
Some things that drive me frantic include The Character Describes Himself By Looking in a [mirror/puddle/polished wood on the top of the bar] and Describing What He Sees. This goes double if the character is female and goes on to a complete and loving description of her breasts.” James MacDonald
dark eyes, thin waist, stripes,
"I hate seeing a 'run-down list:' Names, hair color, eye color, height, even weight sometimes.* Other things that bother me is over-describing the scenery or area where the story starts.* Usually a manuscript can lose the first 3-5 chapters and start there.*Miriam Hees (editor), Blooming Tree Press
my zig-zag shaped antennas.
"Slow writing with a lot of description puts me off very quickly. I like a first chapter that moves quickly and draws me in so I'm immediately hooked."*Andrea Hurst, Andrea Hurst Literary Management
My parents didn’t call me “Izzy” for nothing. I was a bee, and proud of it.
"I’m really turned off by a protagonist named Isabelle who goes by 'Izzy.' No. Really. I am."*Stephany Evans, FinePrint Literary Management.
But let me tell you this, dear reader:
“I recently read a ms when the second line was something like, 'Let me tell you this, Dear Reader...' What do you think of that?"*Sheree Bykofsky, Sheree Bykofsky Literary
I am not a fan of self reflection, (although a few lingering moments might be forgiven)
I’m also usually not a fan of prologues, preferring to find myself in the midst of a moving plot on page 1 rather than being kept outside of it, or eased into it."*Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
no matter what shape or form I take on. My name is Isabell,
"I don't like an opening line that's 'My name is...,' introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. I might be prompted to groan before reading on a bit further to see if the narration gets any less stale. There are far better ways in Chapter 1 to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.*Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
and I am a selfless liberal and eco warrior, a mutant.
I don't like having a character immediately tell me how much he/she hates the world for whatever reason.* In other words, tell me your issues on politics, the environment, etc. through your character.* That is a real turn off to me."*Miriam Hees (editor), Blooming Tree Press
Nobody will ever know of the great battles that I fight against the other races.
"I know this may sound obvious, but too much 'telling' vs. 'showing' in the first chapter is a definite warning sign for me – the first chapter should present a compelling scene, not a road map for the rest of the book. The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.* Don’t ever describe eye color either..."*Emily Sylvan Kim, Prospect Agency

I sighed and looked out of the window. I didn’t know what else to do.
"Characters that are moving around doing little things, but essentially nothing.*Washing dishes & thinking, staring out the window & thinking, tying shoes, thinking ... Authors often do this to transmit information, but the result is action in a literal sense but no real energy in a*narrative sense. The best rule of thumb is always to start the story where the story starts."*Dan Lazar, Writers House
I looked into the darkness at the clouds and listened to the stormy wind,
"Avoid any description of the weather."*Denise Marcil, Denise Marcil Literary Agency
when suddenly, I woke up.
Long prologues that often don't have anything to do with the story. So common in Fantasy again.* Opening scenes that our all dialogue without any context. I could probably go on..."*Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary



Chapter 1

It had all been a dream. I had dreamed I was a bee.
"I dislike opening scenes that you think are real (I rep adult genre fiction), then the protagonist wakes up. It makes me feel cheated.* And so many writers use this hackneyed device.*Laurie McLean, Larsen/Pomada Literary Agents
I shook my head. I didn’t understand this reincarnation (I would find that out later)
I also hate when an author starts something and then says '(the main character) would find out later.'**Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literay
Shaking my head made it hurt. I remembered the long night in the metro bars
"I do in fact hate it when someone wakes up from a dream in Chapter 1,*Michelle Brower, Wendy Sherman Associates.
and squinted into the sunlight of the three suns over Omega462.
Squinting into the sunlight with a hangover in a crime novel. Good grief -- been done a million times.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
The landscape was sort of like a desert on earth. Red dust was swirling.
A sci-fi novel that spends the first two pages describing the strange landscape.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
The sky was blue and cloudless.
'The Weather' is always a problem” Elizabeth Pomada, Larsen-Pomada Literary Agents
Suddenly, I heard the swords. I turned and realized that I was in battle. I had been knocked out by the monk. I had liked him initially.
I dislike lengthy paragraphs of world building and scene setting up front.* I usually crave action close to the beginning of the book (and so do readers)."*Laurie McLean, Larsen/Pomada Literary Agents*
We used to gather herbs together, we even peed side by side, and now, he tried to kill me.
"Here are things I can't stand: Cliché openings in Fantasy can include an opening scene set in a battle (and my peeve is that I don't know any of the characters yet so why should I care about this battle) or with a pastoral scene where the protagonist is gathering herbs (I didn't realize how common this is).* Opening chapters where a main protagonist is in the middle of a bodily function (jerking off, vomiting, peeing, or what have you) is usually a firm NO right from the get-go. Gross.*Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary*
As the sword of the monk cut through me, I suddenly understood the dream. I would be a bee in my next incarnation.
"I don't like it when the main character dies at the end of Chapter 1. Why did I just spend all this time with this character? I feel cheated."*Cricket Freeman, The August Agency

As the monk leaned over the body of the woman, he hardly knew,
"Sometimes a reasonably good writer will create an interesting character and describe him in a compelling way, but then he’ll turn out to be some unimportant bit player.*Ellen Pepus, Ellen Pepus Literary Agency*
he felt nothing. He reflected about their moments together. He throught fondly of the voluptuous, precious herbs, but she left no impression on his inner self.
"I hate reading purple prose, taking the time to set up-- to describe something so beautifully and that has nothing to do with the actual story.*Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Litera
Suddenly he was tired of fighting. He retreated to meditate.
and I dislike an overly long prologue.* The worst thing that you can do is let that crucial chapter be boring - that’s the chapter that has to grab my interest!"*Michelle Brower, Wendy Sherman Associates
But as he was sitting in his cell, all he thought about was sex and violence
I hate gratuitous sex and violence anywhere in the manuscript.* If it is not crucial to the story then I don't want to see it in there, in any chapters."*Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literay
He replayed the rape of the village girl in the chapel by his brothers.
A rape scene in a Christian novel, especially in the first chapter.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
“You go girl”, they had said.
A trite statement ("Get with the program" or "Houston, we have a problem" or "You go girl" or "Earth to Michael" or "Are we all on the same page?"), said by a weenie sales guy, usually in the opening paragraph.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
“Are we all on the same page?” he wondered. He didn’t think he would see this as he came from his small town, to attend his uncle's funeral. It had started with the phonecall, then the hunchback who had been lurking in the shadows of the columns planted the bomb, and war began.
Other annoying, unoriginal things I see too often: some young person going home to a small town for a funeral, someone getting a phone call about a death, a description of a psycho lurking in the shadows, or a terrorist planting a bomb."Ellen Pepus, Ellen Pepus Literary Agency*
And now, the glittering, flickering sun rose in the hostile, hazy sky, shedding its fearful light across the deserted, crumbled, broken land.
*"The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land."*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
Years later, he would look back and laugh but, here and then, life was kind of hard.
'Years later, Monica would look back and laugh...'*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary

[pictopedia]

492 words. I tried to make every word a sin.

In the article it said that the "really good" agent comments will appear in the next issue, and that these quotes here are just the ones that didn't make it into print. I'd love to know what those good ones are.

[Calliopenjo]

Here is my attempt at this. I'm not sure it's as entertaining as the others, but here it is anyway.

Word count: 497
===========
Hi grateful dearest reader. “My name is Izzy. It’s short for Isabelle. I’m 4’10” tall, weigh 100 pounds but only if my hair’s wet, I have bright red hair, and green eyes. And my dad, he’s 5’9” tall, weigh 250 pounds of mostly muscle, he has chocolate brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes. He also farts a lot just like he’s doing now. Especially during a fight. Uh oh, wait a minute I’ll be back. I have to fight” Pow wow swish of the swords as came together in a “Wait a minute, what happened? They all fell down. They don’t even have any blood on them. See? You don’t think I farted do you. I don’t smell anything because during a battle it can smell really raw, but it’s not that way now. Come with me, I have to look for dad. His name is Bubba just like his dad before him. Then there’s Uncle Bubba, but he’s not a warrior he’s a fisherman and his sons Big Bubba and Little Bubba they don’t fish at all. They design clothes. They’re all eating chili right now because there’s a cook off in town. I’m tired; I’m going to sit down on the rock.” Izzy sat there looking at her reflection in the mirror lake, sitting there thinking, looking at her reflection as it rippled in the water.
She woke up suddenly from the dream, hearing the telephone ring. She answered the telephone listening to her Aunt tell her that her third cousin died. She needs to go back to Poopoodoo, a sneeze town just outside of Boston. It’s called a sneeze town because if you sneeze you’ll miss it. It’s not even on any map. She listened as her Aunt told her that it was a dark and stormy night, the lightening was fierce without any light in the sky. He pulled over to the side of the road wanting to pee, but the lightening struck the tree and broke it off so he bled to death. Her Aunt made her promise, never to pull over to pee. Then she yelled to tell me to get with the program before declaring Houston, we have a problem. We do have a problem because the world is evil. It’s evil because the United States government brought us to war no thanks to that good for nothing Republican President, what’s his face. I mean really. We could do a lot better. The other thing I don’t like is that he is Pro Life. It’s my body and I get to do with it whatever I want. So it can’t be right. If I want to kill my baby I should be able to without a problem. It can’t be alive yet anyway. It’s not considered alive until it’s born and it’s not even born yet. So there.

[pictopedia]

I've been carrying this question around with me for two days now, about one of the agent's quotes:

"I don't like an opening line that's 'My name is...,' introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. I might be prompted to groan before reading on a bit further to see if the narration gets any less stale. There are far better ways in Chapter 1 to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.
Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency

I keep wondering: what are these far better ways to establish an instant connection between the narrator and reader? Isn't the only strong connection a reader has at the beginning a curiosity as to what happens next to that person the chapter is starting with? We don't know him or her yet, and if we follow the rule of not too much description, we hardly know what he looks like, and if we follow the rule of not too much scene setting, we hardly know where he/she is. So all that is left is just "a guy, probably a lawyer, driving up an elevator, wondering about the other guy" (like in Grisham's "The street lawyer").

Am I over-interpreting that agent statement, or is there really something that must be there at the beginning? And if yes, what is it?

[Liosse de Velishaf]

Originally Posted by pictopedia

I've been carrying this question around with me for two days now, about one of the agent's quotes:

"I don't like an opening line that's 'My name is...,' introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. I might be prompted to groan before reading on a bit further to see if the narration gets any less stale. There are far better ways in Chapter 1 to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.
Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency

I keep wondering: what are these far better ways to establish an instant connection between the narrator and reader? Isn't the only strong connection a reader has at the beginning a curiosity as to what happens next to that person the chapter is starting with? We don't know him or her yet, and if we follow the rule of not too much description, we hardly know what he looks like, and if we follow the rule of not too much scene setting, we hardly know where he/she is. So all that is left is just "a guy, probably a lawyer, driving up an elevator, wondering about the other guy" (like in Grisham's "The street lawyer").

Am I over-interpreting that agent statement, or is there really something that must be there at the beginning? And if yes, what is it?

I don't see that as a very useful note. It really depens on the type of story being told. Perhaps we have someone telling a story to someone they met in a bar, or to a reporter, or any other type of one-on-one interaction, where the two participants may not be very familiar with each other. For that, this note by the agent seems a little pointless. There's nothing inherently wrong with such an opening if it fits the story.

There are many ways to incite reader interest, and they are all dependent on the realities of the rest of the story. It's good to keep those thoughts in mind, but there's no forumla for a good opening.

[Perle_Rare]

The way I understood it, the agent's issue is with the narrator introducing himself / herself to the reader directly rather than to another character. From the quote, it sounds like the agent considers this type of opening as being sadly overused. She recommends using a more imaginative opening line instead.

Frankly, I'd have to concur.

Better ways to establish connection? Hook the reader so they keep reading. Make them curious about what's about to happen. "My name is..." doesn't qualify as a hook for me as a reader because I haven't been given a reason to care yet.

Just my (inexpert) opinion...

[jbryson]

Originally Posted by Perle_Rare

The way I understood it, the agent's issue is with the narrator introducing himself / herself to the reader directly rather than to another character. From the quote, it sounds like the agent considers this type of opening as being sadly overused. She recommends using a more imaginative opening line instead.

Frankly, I'd have to concur.

Better ways to establish connection? Hook the reader so they keep reading. Make them curious about what's about to happen. "My name is..." doesn't qualify as a hook for me as a reader because I haven't been given a reason to care yet.

Just my (inexpert) opinion...

"My name is..." is a whole sentence, with one piece of info.

"Karen had heard the horror stories about kids who ran away from home."
That's two bits, and starts the story.

Want a description? Ok:
“Mr. Bailey?” Karen guessed as she pulled down her hood, brushing her red hair off blue eyes and freckles.

She's been in a parka up to now, anyway.

[smsarber]

I get that. The novel I am working on (2nd draft) opens; 'My name is Dexter Simmons. I was born December 31, 1975. Today is January 1, 2007, and I have made a resolution. On my thirty-fifth birthday I will end my life.'

This book is the MC's long suicide note, so I use the 'My name is...' to establish his connection to the reader as if it were a letter, as essentially it is. But I don't think I would use it in another type of novel.

"A Birthday Suicide" 1st draft complete 53,000 words

[pictopedia]

I can't see anything wrong with that. It hooks me. But maybe what she meant was the "my name is.." part, not the general "I am dadada" introduction.

@smasarber
I just left the "My name is" part away, and I have the feeling the start is getting stronger by it:

I was born December 31, 1975. Today is January 1, 2007, and I have made a resolution. On my thirty-fifth birthday I will end my life.'

What do you think?

[pictopedia]

I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960: and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. Specialised readers have come across me in Dr. Peter Luce's study "Gender Identity in 5-Alpha-Reductase Phseudohermaphrodites," published in the Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology in 1975.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenide, Pulitzer Price winning oevre, unconcerned brushing along some of the sins in the first sentences, IMHO, without getting noticeably damaged:
-"I introduction"
-"specialised reader" (getting close to "my dear reader", no?)
-"Alpha Centaury whateverthatis medical study title", mega detail I don't care about right now.

Grrr, I hate it, when they (the great writers) can do whatever they want, and all others must follow rules.

[Shweta]

Originally Posted by pictopedia

I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960: and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. Specialised readers have come across me in Dr. Peter Luce's study "Gender Identity in 5-Alpha-Reductase Phseudohermaphrodites," published in the Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology in 1975.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenide, Pulitzer Price winning oevre, unconcerned brushing along some of the sins in the first sentences, IMHO, without getting noticeably damaged:
-"I introduction"
-"specialised reader" (getting close to "my dear reader", no?)
-"Alpha Centaury whateverthatis medical study title", mega detail I don't care about right now.

Grrr, I hate it, when they (the great writers) can do whatever they want, and all others must follow rules.

But:

- "I was born twice" is weird and draws attention. It makes the reader ask "What now?" I think "I introductions" are only a problem when the "I" is not inherently, immediately fascinating. It gets to look like they think they're so great but they're not; it fails the "make the reader care" test. When that sort of introduction really is intriguing, though, the problem goes poof.

It's like those people who talk a whole lot about themselves and they're really boring versus the fascinating people with fascinating lives who you want to listen to.

- The weather note tells us something about the location and what it's like to be in that location.

- First as a girl, then a boy: no transgender operation this, if it happens in an emergency room. The question remains, gets more intriguing, not less.

- The medical note adds authenticity - that is such a plausible medical case study title. It also tells us that the character is probably one of the first people to have a problem that's affecting the world at large. And you can skim over it or look at the word. Me, I think pseudo-hermaphrodites are going to be fascinating.

- The flattened tone, just the facts ma'am, is intriguing here, because there are such weird things happening. The narrator's voice is not over-dramatizing; the events are standing for themselves.

So while it's breaking a number of "rules", each one is broken for a reason.

Really I think these rules can be translated:

1) Don't mention the weather = don't be boring and irrelevant.
2) Don't introduce the character to the reader = don't be cute and irrelevant.
3) Don't talk about when the character was born = don't be boring and irrelevant.
4) Don't use jargon = don't be boring and irrelevant and confusing.

[James D. Macdonald]

Now to reveal my didactic plan:

First: Y'see how easy writing 250 words is? Go thou and do likewise every day for a year and you'll have your novel.

Second: Take the opportunity to use the cheesy openings; get 'em out of your system.

Third: There are no rules. Only guidelines. The reason these openings are instant-rejection is because they're common. Nothing about using them suggests to the agent that there's going to be anything original on the second page, either.

Grrr, I hate it, when they (the great writers) can do whatever they want, and all others must follow rules.

The first, and only, rule is: If it works, it's right. (The next, only a little less-than-a-rule, is: Be interesting.)

Oh, from that other thread, my own tiny contribution to use-cliches-in-your-opening contest:

"Take me, you raging stud!" Angelina Jolie's lips brushed my earlobe.

The alarm clock rang, blending with the sound of rain on the roof. What a funny dream I'd been having! Just then I felt something stir around my feet. It was another terrorist, planting another bomb under my bed.

"Damn it," I hissed. "Isn't there some other bed you guys can bomb? Every day, same thing...."

"Sorry, Guv'nor," the terrorist said. "Gots me orders, I does."

Cockney Liberation Army. Again. I turned over and tried to get back into my dream, the one where Angelina Jolie just wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

I did screw up a bit. The opening turned out interesting.

If I went on and wrote this as a novel, when I reached "The End" I might go back and cut these few paragraphs. Or maybe not.

======

smsarber: Do you think you can find a 30,000 word subplot to stir into the mix?

[smsarber]

Originally Posted by James D. Macdonald

smsarber: Do you think you can find a 30,000 word subplot to stir into the mix?

Uncle Jim, I will asume you mean can I get "ABS" up to 80,000 words. That is my intention. A lot of the first draft left room for expansion. I know it is probably not the way most would advise; to have the first draft so much shorter than the estimation for the finished product, but it's the way it turned out.
Much of the time I would sit down and force myself to write something in the book, anything. Knowing I can go back and change whatever I am not happy with. Also, I have improved as a writer during the writing of the first, so a good deal of the first will be changed, improved (hopefully), and new ideas will abound. So to give a long-winded answer to your short question; Yes, a 30,000 word subplot could be in the mix. And maybe not. I will find out as I take the journey.
Thanks, UJ

[Mr Flibble]

Cockney Liberation Army.

This book needs to be written. Pretty please?

[Melenka]

Uncle Jim,
It is incredibly unfair that you can write that horrid opening and still make me want to read the book. Cut that out.

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by Melenka

It is incredibly unfair that you can write that horrid opening and still make me want to read the book.

I'm a highly-trained stunt writer on a closed course. Don't try this at home, kids.


Or, actually, try it at home.

[Calliopenjo]

Uncle Jim,

What's a monologue? I take it to mean that only one person is speaking. Without anybody commenting or continuing with the conversation. Am I on the right track?

[bsolah]

Yeah, it's just one person speaking usually in the context of drama like a script or screenplay.