Physical Descriptions

Okay. Cleanly writing your charcter's physical description into your story. I've seen it done a dozen ways. Sometimes the importance of character varies the description; sometimes it's full of details, sometimes it's only a couple of words. It could be:

Slipped behind a dialogue tag:

"It's nothing," she said, flipping her long brown hair behind her shoulder.

Or in an entire paragraph devoted solely to physical description. - I find these long and drawn out, and I usually skip them over when I read.

And not to mention timing. When do you do it? Somewhere in the beginning is most expected, but is that the first couple of pages? the first chapter? ... the list goes on. Of course, everything depends on genre, style, story, character... obviously variation is going to make a difference.

So how do you like to write it?

This question will no doubt elicit many comments. And, no doubt, they will be varied and helpful.

Some questions that should be answered, I think:

Why is it necessary to describe the character? To put into the mind of the reader what the author thinks her character looks like?

Is the character's physical appearance crucial to the story?

I just finished reading the first three volumes of Orson Scott Card's "Ender" quartet. In all of them, I don't recall ever reading a description about what Andrew Wiggins looks like. Card does describe the aliens, only with enough information to show how they differ from humans. As for other characters, I remember that one is small, one has skin so black that it approaches blue ... nothing about long wavy hair, bulging muscles -- in fact, there is little description of the clothing they wear. Yet, in my reader's mind, I see them all clearly, identify with them, love and hate them. I think it is that Card showed me their personalities by the things they do and the way they talk and how they think. (Card's method of showing 'thinking' is unique in my experience...topic for another thread, maybe.)

Along the same lines as what you are saying, I tend to think that when it comes to description, sometimes less is more. I tend to like the descriptions when one or two main features are clearly delineated, something that is outstanding or noteworthy.--Rather than just running rote through hair color, eye color, skin color, body type, and so on.

Just my two cents

I agree with Pthom and Joan. I tend to skip over long descriptions stuck in the middle of stories. The reader in me likes to imagine what the character looks like. A few well placed descriptions like, "I noticed the sixth finger on his right hand" help the reader to see the character. If you show his personality through his reactions then it's easy to imagine what he/she will look like.

Poe Me

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

Describe the character only when it makes sense. For example, if you say the woman is the most beautiful girl in the world... well, give us something to substantiate that claim. If the character is bi-racial, please tell us (and which races).

Again, the rule of thumb is "show, don't tell." Describing a character's phyical attributes is best done by "showing" -- as part of a scene:

Julianne strolled by the garden, whistling a little tune. She leaned in to examine the flowers, the glint in her eyes rivaled the brightest lilacs. Suddenly a bee flew out from nowhere and stung her on her flawless face...

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If you do want to describe your character's physical attributes, do it earlier on so that you don't let the readers create a mental image of the character for 80 pages before you completely alter it with the revelation: OH DARN, she is old and she is not a Caucasian... Oops.

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

All good thoughts. I used to obsess over how to describe a person, until I read a book on character that said something along the lines of:

What if the person reading your book is four-foot six inches tall and overweight, are they likely to identify with a character who is six foot four and weighs one hundred and fifty pounds?

The contention was that a reader will tend to see the character as somewhat like themselves, and that too much description can actually distance the reader from the character. Any physical description should be germaine to the story, and if possible, worked into the action, as in:

Marie stretched and pulled open the cupboard. Good thing the glasses were on the bottom shelf.

If you can make these physical characteristics crucial elements in the story, all the better.

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

I've thought about avoiding the physical description. I don't find it extremely necessay except for one distinguishing feature of the protag. I can't even picture one of my other characters, so that's where I stumble. What he looks like must not be that important, then. :: phew ::

"I noticed the sixth finger on his right hand"

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Poe, Princess Bride? What a great novel/movie.

Something I've noticed about physical descriptions is that different genre have different expectations about how much physical description is needed. Romance novels tend to go on and on with physical descriptions. I think there's more of it in some other genres than others.

How you work in physical descriptions can depend a lot on what POV you're using. The way someone thinks of themselves and how an observer looks at them can be very different. :thumbs

Just please, please, don't have the characters looking into random mirrors, pools of water, whatever, in order to give themselves a description (her cool grey eyes, evenly spaced above a long straight nose, stared back ....). That's a cliche scene.

Got it, Jim. :thumbs

her cool grey eyes, evenly spaced above a long straight nose, stared back

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Argh! Now you've got me wondering how many eyes she has. Gotta be at least three of 'em, but I think four might work better.

urgh

Jim, I was going to say the same thing.

Shawn

macalicious, good catch!

Poe Me

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

I find that describing characters can be good, if it's germaine. often, you can give clues about the personality of a character simply through description.

without attempting to work it into a narrative, i give you some decriptions.

Flawed carefully straightened his meticulously braided hair, and bound it with a blask elastic. he took pride in his hair. his green-and-black shirt might not match his too-short blue sweatpants, but he didn't care. the hair was what mattered. these stick to hair and clothing.

Flawed's muscles rippled as he walked into the room. his tattered leather jacket had one sleeve cut short, in order to show off his collection of tattoes.

Flawed stared into the mirror, fussing with the unruly tangled hair. i really shold brush this more often , he thought. he grimaced as he struggled into his suit and looked for his father to help him put on a tie. at least this time he would wear the shiny cream-colored shirt, instead of the blue one he hated.

i think the value of description has been demonstrated. one thing i've found helpful, to avoid the awkward mirror scenes, if to have characters describe each other. if your book is told form more than one perspective, like mine, you can avoid having any characters describe themselves.

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

Yep, I remember reading, that if at all possible, don't describe your character.
I write romance, and I have always thought that the descriptions of characters were off putting. Yes, we know she is stunning, yes, we know that he is really hot, but let us decide what is hot. The author may think that 6'4'' redheads are lady killers while I think 5'8'' guys with black curly hair are. See what I mean? How can I imagine the guy as being hot if he's not what I think is hot?

Okay, I'm done talking in circles. :lect

Re: Re: Physical Descriptions

I find that even if you give descriptions of a character, if the characterization is strong, the readers would eventually ignore/forget your descriptions and imagine their own...

The point is, keep your physical descriptions to the minimum, and relevant to the story: age, gender, race, build, etc. When in doubt, try cutting out the descriptions and see if anything's lost -- do we need to know if the guy has blond hair or black? Is the fact that the guy is a body builder significant to the story? If it doesn't make a difference, then cut it in the rewrite process.

During first draft, by all means put in all the physical descriptions you want to help you visualize and characterize your characters, to help you write.

Sometimes descriptions of one character help to characterize another character. In the following passage, by describing the woman, I'm characterizing the protagonist...

A thirty-something woman, short blond hair, sits at the bar across from me. She's been giving me the eye. I don’t recognize her, but her voluptuous breasts, pushing against a skin-tight black dress, beg for attention. Men gawk at her – vulture eyes circling – but so far no one’s lunged for the kill. Her eyes meet mine again, and she twists her red lips, moist with freshly applied lipstick, into a seductive half smile. I swallow the last shot of tequila, then grab my glass of Johnny Walker, push the table away and strut toward her. She peers away and adjusts her dress, exposing a fine pair of long legs.

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Note the inclusions and omissions -- no mention of shoes, or the color of her eyes, for example. The protagonist is interested in the woman as a sex object; he doesn't notice shoes or the windows to her soul. What he notices, however, are the skin-tight dress, the breasts, the legs, the lips... everything that has to do with sex. Also the other's men's "vulture eyes" -- he's contemplating his competitions. Very male, aggressive.

as i see it, the main purpose of description is to give clues about a characters personality and background. skin tone, hair length, clothing worn, and so on can all contribute to this.

... the main purpose of description is to give clues about a characters personality and background. ...

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Consider: the opposite is sometimes a better choice.

Showing a character's personality and background through his or her actions is a more interesting way to describe that character. Does it matter that the girl at the end of the bar has short blonde hair? Maybe it does if the girl next to her is a red head and hair color is the only way to differentiate between them. But certainly, the longer we observe, we notice more than just color of hair or eyes. Or size. Or clothing.

I think if you must identify a character by appearance, keep it brief. I think that if a character is identified only by appearance, that character is no more significant in the story than the barber pole or the weeping willow or the telephone booth.

And yet, the Robert Parker Spenser mysteries, in which Parker obsesses over what EVERYONE wears (the swooshes on the protag's running shoes always match his T-shirts, for heaven's sake!), are still great stories in spite of the gratuitous clothing run-downs. And they are gratuitous - Parker's never yet done anything useful or dangerous with the color of a swoosh - but they gotta be in there, apparently! Makes me wonder if he owns stock in a certain shoe company...

I think we have all read "great stories" that were not especially well written.

If the physical descriptions adds to the details of your story, then write it. Remember "show, don't tell." You can tell us all you want about how beautiful Helen of Troy was, but until you give us some definitive descriptions, we could only say, "Sure, whatever you say."

The "woman with short blond hair at the bar" may not be necessary if it's not relevant at all. But in the context of a scene (e.g. the character is attracted to blonds and he wants to have sex with her), it's relevant details. The right details enrich your characters, scenes and story. It gives you a reference to paint that picture in your head. You may not find blond women sexy, but in the scene, it is really about the protagonist (who likes blondes).

It's also relevant if the hair color, or a scar, or her weight, has something to do with the story... Aunt Petunia is a hell lot funnier because she is tall and thin (in contrast to her husband) than if she's fat or if you don't know at all. You don't need to know if she has blond hair or brown. But the relevant details add to the characters and scenes.

Choose your details. Don't describe and name every brand of clothings. Don't give us a laundry list of physical attributes like a criminal profile. But the right details will make your characters and scenes come to life.

Consider the above scene with the woman at the bar, as rewritten here without any physical description:

A woman sits at the bar across from me. She's been giving me the eye. I don’t recognize her, but her beauty begs for attention. Men gawk at her. Her eyes meet mine again, and she twists her lips into a seductive half smile. I swallow the last shot of tequila, then grab my glass of Johnny Walker, push the table away and strut toward her. She peers away and adjusts her dress, exposing her legs.

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Some people may actually prefer this version. But IMHO, it's flat comparing to the version above with the physical details.

Flawed, you have the right idea, but the wrong approach. The first examples you provided did not really reveal character; they were just other ways of providing the protag's physical description.

Maestro has a much better approach. Look again at his first example where the woman is described. Yes, he is providing a physical description, but it is not of the POV character. Instead, it is a descripton from the POV character's point of view. It shows us the object of his desire and what he desires about that object (the woman's attributes). And, in so doing, reveals something about the POV's character.

It shows us the object of his desire and what he desires about that object (the woman's attributes). And, in so doing, reveals something about the POV's character

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Exactly. Even the swooshes Betty mentioned from the Parker novels say something about the wearer; he is fastidious about this detail of his attire. We're already drawing a picture of the person.

I will admit to having my protag stand in front of a mirror. However, I say nothing about his actual appearance, only his reaction when he compares himself with his father, the emotional heart of the story. For all the reader would know from reading just this scene, he could be a 75 pound pygmy or a 400 pound sumo wrestler.

However, I say nothing about his actual appearance, only his reaction when he compares himself with his father, the emotional heart of the story.

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Interesting point. In my novel, I never have the protagonist describe himself (it's first person narration), but he does talk about his parents, in an emotional context. From that, the readers might be able to imagine what the protagonist looks like -- but they don't have to. They have a point of reference. Again, we're using other characters' attributes to reveal something about the POV character. It's more effective this way.

In a third person POV, you can achieve that by describing the characters through the POV character:

Hansel noticed how tight Gretel's dress was, and how it clung to her body like a stretched latex glove. He couldn't take his eyes off her ample breasts.

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Interesting discussion to have in the cyber-world where we all interact without much awreness of one another's physical descriptions. How we "know" one another here and make assumptions about appearances based on our voices can be informative, I think. What clues do we give/get as to gender, age, nationality. Do you picture people here? Do you wish you actually had photos of everyone, or are you glad to be left to your own imagination?

As for my own assumptions, from all these choice bits of description, I'm beginning to think of maestro as a bit hard up.