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#18401 |
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Delusional and loving it
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: -33.654584, 151.32298
Posts: 598
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Anne has been querying that poem for the last three years. She calls it 'Loving Flyingtart'. She has written another one just like it called 'Loving Emily'.
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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." Ann Landers (1918 - 2002) |
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#18402 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Elijah Sydney writes an advice column for Dog's Life magazine and answers all the questions his canine readers send him.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18403 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,412
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Nymtoc writes a sex advice column in which he's the one who gets all the advice.
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Anne PfefferGirls Love Travis Walker Finalist -- New Fiction 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards http://tinyurl.com/a9mhf4q |
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#18404 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Anne Pfeffer cannot tell right from left, which leads to all kinds of interesting situations when she's driving.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18405 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Neither can Nymtoc, which leads to all kinds of interesting situations when he's voting.
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When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18406 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Drachen Jager always votes for candidates on the right, because he learned in school that "right" means "correct."
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18407 |
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I believe you have my stapler
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,561
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Nymtoc has multiple personalities, and all of them vote. Problem is, they all write-in vote for each other.
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#18408 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Beckahrah always buys orange underwear for Halloween. Unfortunately by the time next Halloween rolls around she realises she should probably own more than one pair, or at least wash the ones she does own.
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When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18409 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,412
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Drachen Jager's underwear are too tight, which is why he sings soprano.
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Anne PfefferGirls Love Travis Walker Finalist -- New Fiction 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards http://tinyurl.com/a9mhf4q |
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#18410 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Anne suffers from the inability to see both sides of a problem. Is it too tight, or am I too large?
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When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18411 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Drachen Jager believes he doesn't have to wear clothes because he's a unicorn. This delusion has gotten him in trouble with the law countless times.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18412 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Nymtoc is the worst gambler in the history of the world. Every single bet he's placed has gone wrong. Disgusted with his luck and determined to finally win something, he bet for both teams to win a match last weekend. It ended in a tie.
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When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18413 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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DJ writes letters to the Man in the Moon, and when friends try to convince him that there is no such person, he bursts into tears.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18414 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Lauderhill, FL
Posts: 1,029
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Nymtoc collects the cutest little glass figurines: angels, kittens, puppies, even unicorns. The day he dropped the bunny rabbit, shattering it to a million pieces, he bawled his abstract head into the third dimension.
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#18415 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,412
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Steve Coate covets that beautiful little glass menagerie.
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Anne PfefferGirls Love Travis Walker Finalist -- New Fiction 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards http://tinyurl.com/a9mhf4q |
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#18416 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Anne fills little bottles from her toilet and sells them on Etsy as "Homemade Eau de Toilette".
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When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18417 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Drachen Jager has started to build a fence across Canada's southern border to keep out 'Merican aliens. It will be 25 feet (7.62 metres) high with barbed wire along the top, and the whole thing will be charged with 2,000 volts of electricity (same as the electric chair). DJ has been overheard snickering and saying, "That'll teach 'em."
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18418 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,049
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Nymtoc won't stop planking. At work he lays down on his desk, across the boss's feet, and on the table at the workplace cafeteria. He gets home and lays across the driveway, on the roof, and then on the kitchen counter.
It has replaced all of his favorite activities, and everyone is worried. His furbie troop has gathered dust. As has his special x-ray "see everybody naked" glasses, and his knitting supplies. "What to do? What to do?" says his wife, pacing, wringing her hands. Nymtoc just lays on the dresser and watches her. See? That's how he is. Last edited by Fruitbat; 10-26-2011 at 11:37 AM. |
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#18419 |
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Come here and say that
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 6,692
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Fruitbat buys food in restaurants then sneaks out without eating it.
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A Dictionary of Linguistic Absurdities "a waste of time and an insult to the intelligence"
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#18420 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,412
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Flyingtart throws pastries when she's annoyed.
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Anne PfefferGirls Love Travis Walker Finalist -- New Fiction 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards http://tinyurl.com/a9mhf4q |
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#18421 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Anne is haunted by the ghost of Shakespeare's former room-mate's second cousin's dog's chew-toy.
__________________
When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18422 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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DJ believes he was turned into a unicorn by a wicked witch, and now he's seeking a good witch to turn him back into what he was to start with--a boar.
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#18423 |
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Professor of applied misanthropy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,451
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Nymtoc's day job is as an organ-grinder's monkey. They decided in New York decades ago that it was too demeaning for actual monkeys to caper about begging for money wearing silly outfits, but figured it was okay for Nymtoc.
__________________
When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they're almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they're almost always wrong.—Gaiman
The story must strike a nerve—in me. My heart should start pounding when I hear the first line in my head. I start trembling at the risk.—Sontag Creativity is the residue of wasted time.—Einstein |
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#18424 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,412
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Drachen Jager is currently on exhibit at the zoo as a form of primitive primate.
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Anne PfefferGirls Love Travis Walker Finalist -- New Fiction 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards http://tinyurl.com/a9mhf4q Last edited by annetpfeffer; 10-26-2011 at 09:36 PM. |
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#18425 |
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Why do I say these things?
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvsQ9hYKq7c
Posts: 5,322
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annetpfeffer's favorite outing is to the museum where she can longingly gaze on the one jarred body part from Rasputin.
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