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#1 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Coping mechanisms -- Do you have one?
I'm curious to know if other writers have unique, interesting, and effective methods for coping with rejection.
Here's mine: I grade each rejection letter. I have a column on my submission log spreadsheet for the grade, and I also attach a comment with a critique of the letter. Here are my guidelines: Impersonal form letters containing the usual stock phrases get a C. Insulting, condescending, or snotty letters get a D. No reply at all gets an F. I have received one or two excellent letters, which, although they are also the same form letter they send to everybody, are carefully worded to do the least harm to a writer's ego. These get an A. Extra credit is given if the letter is signed or initialed by an actual person. Extra credit is also given if the agent thanks me for considering their agency. Points off for cliches. Points off for letters that begin with "Dear Author" or "Dear Writer." It is probably unfair of me to object to such an innocuous time-saver employed by very busy people, but as we all know, grading is always a bit subjective. I don't know why, but this process allows me to put the rejection behind me and resume my search for just the right agent. |
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#2 |
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bananaed
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: oontz oontz oontz oontz
Posts: 7,238
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I doubt my method is unique, but it's effective for me:
1. Take note of any constructive criticism in rejection letter 2. Mark rejection in my submission log 3. Shred rejection letter 4. Revise manuscript if needed 5. Submit manuscript elsewhere I try not to dwell on rejections. I don't have that much energy to spare. |
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#3 |
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my name is hannah
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Heretogether
Posts: 44,931
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I curl up and watch TV. Yep.
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YOUNG ADULT BOOKS: BREAK--Simon Pulse, 2009 BUY IT INVINCIBLE SUMMER--Simon Pulse, 2011 BUY IT GONE, GONE, GONE--Coming APRIL 17th, 2012, Simon Pulse BUY ITTEETH--Coming JANUARY 1ST, 2013, Simon Pulse -- MIDDLE GRADE BOOKS: ZOMBIE TAG--Coming DECEMBER 20th, 2011, Roaring Brook Press BUY IT MARCO IMPOSSIBLE--Coming MARCH 2013, Roaring Brook Press
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#4 |
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THE REASONS - Now Available!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 25,239
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I move on.
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One-Stop Shopping - My books on Amazon Buy any of my 3 novels between MAY 15-31, 2013 and 100% of my royalties is donated to Male Survivor Weekends of Recovery Scholarship Fund! "I'll have no truck with plots." ~ Sheldon Cooper |
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#5 |
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Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 48,359
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I've saved every rejection letter I've ever received. I never look at them, but I will on the day I get an agent - and it will happen.
But my immediate coping mechanism is to look back over what was rejected, spot ways to improve it and do so, and send it out again. While it's out, I carry on working on something else. I also find cleaning therapeutic. And chocolate. |
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#6 |
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I'm super! Thanks for asking
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: GA
Posts: 2,715
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I don't know how I'd feel having a big project like a novel rejected. Oh, I've written a few of them, but I'm not showing them to anyone just yet!
All of my rejections have been for short fiction or short non-fiction. The first couple stung a bit, but since then, my coping mechanism has been to send it on to the next market. Just knowing that I've sold stuff to the third, fourth, or fifth market that's seen it gives me hope every time I hit 'Send'.
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Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.-- Reggie Leach A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
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#7 |
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Midnight Reading
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In the toidy.
Posts: 8,430
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1) Read it.
2) Check off that agent from my all-too-short list. 3) Remind myself that I do have talent. 4) Get drunk. |
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#9 |
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Ribbed for your pleasure.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,441
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Copious amounts of alcohol. Once that's done, I go to the agent's website and try to find a picture of them so I can make fun of the way they dress.
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“You write how you write. If I were a calculating careerist, I would not be a novelist.” Justin Cronin "I'd rather shoot myself in the face than have another discussion about the difference between one category of literature and another." Colson Whitehead facebook.com/jes.bosworth |
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#10 |
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THE REASONS - Now Available!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 25,239
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Remember Chris's great billboard of rejection letters? He posted it here once...great inspiration! I wish he were around to post it again here...
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One-Stop Shopping - My books on Amazon Buy any of my 3 novels between MAY 15-31, 2013 and 100% of my royalties is donated to Male Survivor Weekends of Recovery Scholarship Fund! "I'll have no truck with plots." ~ Sheldon Cooper |
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#11 |
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God of Squirrels
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: On The Precipice...
Posts: 1,653
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I usually fire up Unreal Tournament 2004, set the bots to easy, name them after various editors, agents, publishers, and proceed to blow the poo outta them.
Childish? Absolutely.
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If I had a signature, you'd be reading it right now. Last edited by David McAfee; 09-30-2007 at 09:29 PM. |
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#12 |
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That hairy-handed gent
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Who ran amok in Kent
Posts: 26,229
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The place where I work has a beat-up old metal shed. It's in the woods, outskirts of Anchorage, Alaska, which means we have bears and moosies come by every now and then, even lynx on a couple of occasions in recent years, kind of "out there" with nobody around much. The parking area is a gravel driveway. Good-sized rocks, and I used to be a baseball pitcher back in my high school/college days.
You have no idea how good the right-sized rock sounds at 75-80 MPH off a corrugated steel building. caw |
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#13 | |
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Cluck that.
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Middle of the road.
Posts: 1,439
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Quote:
um, I 1. read it 4. get drunk I find steps 2 and 3 slow me down from reaching #4.
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"You're not a schmuck. You're just sort of a schmuck."-Giant Baby 2010 "Actually, I take that back. There's no 'sort of' about it."-Giant Baby 2011 Angiomas Suck. Full of blog schmuck-ary. Oh, and bring the boxed wine. Who doesn't love a good hostess gift. |
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#14 |
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A work in progress
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 2,591
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In another life, I was a sales professional and rejection was an expected part of doing business. I don't take it personally, it's just part of the game. A game I'm determined to win! Hang tough, my friends...
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#15 |
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Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 48,359
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#16 |
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Agony is defeat
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In front of the Almighty, on the wrong side of the chessboard
Posts: 2,203
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About 5 years ago I submitted a short story to a magazine. I tacked the rejection to the wall above my bed. When I went back a few months ago and looked at the story, I wasn't at all shocked it was rejected. I mean, WOW did it suck! Not the idea itself, but the grammar/sentence structure/flow... Bad news.
That's the only thing I've ever submitted, but queries for my novel are going out Friday, and to tell you the truth, I'm not how sure how I'll deal with the rejections that are bound to show up in my mailbox. I'm pretty terrified, and I think if I can't manage to toss them aside and forget them, I'll likely go mad.
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~E.A. Blackwell Praesis ut Prosis "The dreadful thing is that beauty is not only terrifying but also mysterious. God and the Devil are fighting there, and their battlefield is the heart of man. But a man's heart wants to speak only of its own ache. Listen, now I'll tell you what it says..." ~Dostoevsky The Brothers Karamazov Fantasy: Elysian Flames- 88,000 words <Was hat dich bloß so ruiniert?> Queries Out: 0 Your book is teh suck, try digging ditches to bury it in plz kthxbai: 6 www.granitewindstarr.com (under some serious construction) |
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#17 |
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fiddle-dee-dee
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Behind you! Boo.
Posts: 2,372
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Come here and whine to you guys, what else?
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#18 |
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Here to network and learn.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Maine.
Posts: 3,400
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I collect them and, one of these days, they'll be a piece of art: The Writer's Block Project. I started this thing back in either 1999 or 2000.
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Jenn Greenleaf
(Where I reconnect and reminisce about my old days on AW….) |
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#19 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: california
Posts: 5,673
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The first few suck. After a while, it's like, oh, well, stick that in the file, go feed the cat. The only really, really hard part is sitting down to write again after a few in a row. Turning off that evil little voice in your head that says, "you suck, you suck, you su-u-u-u-ck!"
I find cranking up Mark Knopfler or Green Day loud enough usually drowns out that little voice. Is it warped to write middle grade fiction listening to Green Day? Am I going to damage future generations somehow?
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represented by Jenny Bent of the Bent Agency. Most happy. |
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#20 |
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Agony is defeat
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In front of the Almighty, on the wrong side of the chessboard
Posts: 2,203
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I think I'll totally be able to accept rejections of my actual work, but query rejections will get to me, because I wasn't even given a chance. I accept the fact that I may suck out loud, but it would be nice if the decision was made based on the beginning of my story.
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~E.A. Blackwell Praesis ut Prosis "The dreadful thing is that beauty is not only terrifying but also mysterious. God and the Devil are fighting there, and their battlefield is the heart of man. But a man's heart wants to speak only of its own ache. Listen, now I'll tell you what it says..." ~Dostoevsky The Brothers Karamazov Fantasy: Elysian Flames- 88,000 words <Was hat dich bloß so ruiniert?> Queries Out: 0 Your book is teh suck, try digging ditches to bury it in plz kthxbai: 6 www.granitewindstarr.com (under some serious construction) |
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#21 | |
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has finally arrived
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,094
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Quote:
Now what I do is take the "good" rejections (the personal notes that really mean something) and put them on my refrigerator. My husband and I don't have kids, so we do this for each other, as a little "look at me!" sort of thing. He's got a magazine review for the game he worked on last year, and I have a couple of notes from agents. Both of us are still "in school" as far as our careers are concerned, but all that means is that someday we will graduate!!! |
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#22 |
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Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 48,359
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I keep mine in a folder, at the bottom of a footstool/storage unit in my living room. I know they're there, and they're not taking up much room, so they can bloody well stay there and shut up until the day I see fit to take them out and burn them!
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#23 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Orangeville, Ontario
Posts: 2,770
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I throw them out. The only ones I've kept are ones that included constructive criticisms. Out of sight, out of mind is my motto when it comes to rejections.
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Janet Originality is nothing by judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another. Author: Voltaire |
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#24 |
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THE REASONS - Now Available!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 25,239
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I found Chris's post. Click on it, guys! I think it's a great idea:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...ostcount=39440 Judas, I can't believe you didn't see it! Chris...where the heck are you!
__________________
One-Stop Shopping - My books on Amazon Buy any of my 3 novels between MAY 15-31, 2013 and 100% of my royalties is donated to Male Survivor Weekends of Recovery Scholarship Fund! "I'll have no truck with plots." ~ Sheldon Cooper |
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#25 | |
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So you're suggesting what? Bigfoot?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hogsmeade
Posts: 439
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Okay, I'm simplifying. And playing devil's advocate. But, it's kind of true. Can anyone tell I got a rejection on a partial yesterday?
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We call them dumb animals... for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words. ~Anna Sewell |
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