What Donald Maas Literary Agency is looking for: 10/07

I am all about the bitchin' premise, so maybe I'll send them a query for my Rome novel. Yes, yes.

Oh, that means I have to write a query. Sigh.

(Or finish the novel up. Sigh x 2)

Well, none of my stuff matches any of that. Guess I'm out.

Actually, I'm going to gripe here, at the risk of sounding petty. What that list says to me is, "We want [insert popular classic], but, you know, changed enough that we can sell it."

What they should be looking for is the NEXT great masterpiece, not ripoffs of what's already been done.

psst

is it just me or do all of those sound awful??

"Write like this, only change that, alter the other thingie, and make it better."

I've heard that before . . .

Shady Lane said:

psst

is it just me or do all of those sound awful??

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Oddly enough, the Huck Finn/raft trip/magic one has me thinking....which is dangerous. Not that I'd be able to write it in a month.

ChaosTitan said:

Oddly enough, the Huck Finn/raft trip/magic one has me thinking....which is dangerous. Not that I'd be able to write it in a month.

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The Huck Finn one brought to mind Riverworld, of all things, for me. I like the ideas.

Is this a big agency or something? BTW, I'm a total "clout of agency" noob.

Yup, it's a biggie.

A literary romance with a heroine for all time and a tragic ending, preferably written by a man.

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Could they be a little more sexist? I've written a literary romance with a male protagonist and I didn't need a PENIS to achieve that.

A literary romance with a heroine for all time and a tragic ending, preferably written by a man.

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"Dear Margaret Mitchell,

Thank you for your query regarding your novel GONE WITH THE WIND. Unfortunately, your gender does not meet our requirements at this time. We wish you success elsewhere."

I could always dust off a previously abandonned project - possible fusion of their needs...

You think this will excite them?

An African-American noir novel about today’s underclass, illegal immigrant anti-terrorism ghosts that weaves in scientists, raft trips, magic and Muslim dogs.

It isn't a romance if it has a tragic ending anyway.

Is it just me or does it seem a lot of agents are getting really snarky lately?

They're describing what would pique their interest.

It is not a contest nor a limitation of WHAT would pique them, but examples. Obviously other things will interest them. They aren't even describing "catching this wave"; Huck Finn is definitely not "this wave".

None of the ideas listed sound awful; what makes you think so? They are no worse than ideas *we* come up with. Obese detectives who like to engage in gastronomy and orchid raising; a coming of age story told through the eyes of a unicorn; a samurai is time-portaled into the future and must find a way home; Romeo and Juliet set on Mars. Ridiculous ideas? They all sold and have non-trivial readerships or viewerships. At least one is considered a classic nearly cross-genre, and one is classic within genre.

The only message I get is "have some kind of strong idea. You may want to think about an idea that may pattern itself on these, as templates".

Ava Jarvis said:

None of the ideas listed sound awful; what makes you think so?

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They don't sound like anything I'd enjoy reading. In my mind, that's enough to count something as awful.

And I've got at least five rep points that say I'm not the only one.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Is it just me or does it seem a lot of agents are getting really snarky lately?

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Sure. But then, I quietly think that maybe some writers are getting dumber, sooo.....

I think it's weird. Are they actually trying to get writers to use those ideas? Are they trying to say their agents can come up with better ideas than the writers who query them? What's the purpose of that list? Maybe Donald Maass should just commission writers, give them those exact hooks, and see what they come up with.

Anyway, I think the Muslim detective idea is pretty cool.

Sage said:

I don't think the premises here are meant to be taken seriously. I think the overall message is to query a novel that has a unique premise or hook.

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Shh, stop being reasonable, Sage. You are ruining my fun. Plus, joking or not, I kinda take offense to the "preferably written by a man" thing, and I'm usually pretty open minded about jokes. I've NEVER bought a book based on whether the author was male or female. That's something that can easily be faked via a pen name anyway.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Is it just me or does it seem a lot of agents are getting really snarky lately?

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I don't think they're getting snarky. I do think writers are getting over-sensitive.

No, I'm never going to get published; you all will be published long before me. I'm just that bad at plotting.

Shady Lane said:

They don't sound like anything I'd enjoy reading. In my mind, that's enough to count something as awful.

And I've got at least five rep points that say I'm not the only one.

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Oookay. If I've offended, I'm sorry and will just shut up now.

Azraelsbane said:

Is this a big agency or something? BTW, I'm a total "clout of agency" noob.

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Very important agency--and one of the few that concentrates almost entirely on fiction.

Donald Maass also has a couple of books on writing, Writing the Breakout Novel and The Career Novelist. Junior agents at Maass often develop impressive stables of thier own.

Ava Jarvis said:

The only message I get is "have some kind of strong idea. You may want to think about an idea that may pattern itself on these, as templates".

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This was my first thought, as well. Like Sage said, have a story with a good hook. Maybe those hooks don't interest some here, but the idea is encapsulated in one or two sentences that can be passed around a room easily enough.

If these are so great why don't they just close shop and pump those suckers out and make millions of dollars?

If they did that, I'd gladly offer any of them representation. I could sell their book.

....

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Just kidding. I'd send them rejections. Something about it not being a breakout premise, I imagine.