I'm another who almost took this place as a real agency. I submitted a picture book last week, then discovered the agency was a fake a couple hours later -- first from reading their unbelievably long list of letters from satisfied customers who were glad to pay $80 for a critique and then from seeing what was written about them here.
So I was expecting my "query" to be accepted, and of course it was. I decided to have a little fun and make up another picture book in about ten minutes, "Timmy and the Sinister Ducks," which was as stupid as I could make it. I even purposely addressed Sherry as "sir."
Not surprisingly, they like it.
Timmy and the Sinister Ducks
One warm sunny afternoon, Timmy and his father were
visiting the duck pond. Timmy's father showed him how
to feed bread to the ducks, who gobbled up the bread
like they were starving prisoners of war.
"Not too much, Timmy," said Timmy's father. "Feed
them just enough to keep them alive, but not enough to
actually satisfy them."
"Okay, Dad."
"We strike tomorrow at dawn," said Timmy's father.
Then Timmy suddenly realized it wasn't his father who
had spoken.
But who, then?
"We will eat all the humans."
Timmy looked at one of the ducks with surprise. It
was talking.
No. Not talking. Thinking.
Timmy was reading its mind. The ducks had somehow
developed the power to communicate through thoughts.
And so had Timmy!
"They have kept us down for far too long," thought
the duck. "And they will pay for it. WIth blood."
Suddenly Timmy had an idea.
He closed his eyes and squeezed hard and thought:
"Tomorrow's not good for me."
"Who said that?" thought the same duck. He was
obviously the leader of the ducks, their big evil
leader.
"Not me," said another duck. "Although tomorrow's
not really good for me, either"
"Stan's got a point," said another duck. "Let's set
the attack for sometime next week."
"Better yet," thought Timmy, doing his best
impersonation of a duck, "let's not attack at all."
"Who said that?" thought the evil leader of the
ducks.
"Who cares?" thought another duck. "Whoever it was
had a point. Attacking the humans was a dumb idea in
the first place."
"Yes, dumb," thought another duck.
They all paddled off to the other side of the pond,
leaving the evil leader of the ducks all alone. The
evil leader of the ducks stared malevolently at Timmy,
as if he suspected Timmy had something to do with his
plans being foiled but had no proof.
Timmy just smiled.
"Let's go home, Dad," he said.
"Okay, Timmy."
As they walked across the grass, his father said,
"Timmy sure can be bossy at times."
Then Timmy realized his father hadn't spoken. He had
heard his father's thoughts, as well.
"This could be fun," said Timmy.
But then, as they drove home, Timmy saw a duck flying
in the sky and a cold chill went through him, like a
harbinger of doom, or like when he ate an ice cream
too fast.
"It's not over," Timmy thought meaningfully.
THE END
Their response:
Thank you for everything that we have received from you thus far. Our review team believes that your work has commercial potential and we would like to proceed by offering to represent you.
We feel that your concept and writing thus far has potential and that if it
is polished and presented properly, we can sell it.
To take the next step, please read the information below and follow the
instructions at the end of this email. Unfortunately, this email is quite
long, but it has to be as this sets the stage for our working together.
It goes on and on for thousands of words, the usual long email that everyone talks about.